I couldn't talk to girls like they were just people until I went thru nursing school. Being almost the only man around a lot of women made me conclude they were just people and that's when I really started getting laid on the regular. I concluded there was nothing mysterious about them and it gave me the confidence to relax and be myself. Later I realized they were mysterious after all but by that time getting laid was no longer a priority and not having that driving need for sex is pretty liberating.
I've had sexual encounters, they were just of the awkward needy insecure teenage type. Also, fewer than i can count on one hand, and i'm far too old for this to be the case and no matter how fuck ugly you are, nights spent alone practicing solo love get old. I want the satisfaction of getting laid thru being who i am and personality and charisma, then I will know I've made positive changes. In college it seems its about looks and status, neither of which I have, that's kind of why I've been a depressed sociopathic stoner because I can't immediately change either. But as the great smash mouth said, you never know if you don't go, and school is ending soon and partying begins so maybe for the first time in my life i will allow myself to be integrated as both boy and man and just radiate good vibes, not expecting anything in return, and see how far that gets me.Once you take aware that self-imposed pressure, dealing with women is far easier. Also, the reason i want to go into music and make my bread that way is that guys who do that seem to attract women anyway lol. There is a mystique about it. I don't care if i'm not rich and am living a bohemian lifestyle at 29 if i am happy