i don't know, man. lately, i do things and only think about how i don't want to be doing these things. eheh that's the best way i can explain it. i'm not feeling interested or excited about anything. everything is stupid, boring, pointless, not worth the time, not worth the strain. i don't like living anymore. people have told me that i'm the happiest person they've ever met. but lately man, nothing is going great at all. nothin is even "good." heh. it's weird though because nothing particularly bad has happened. it's all the same old shit different day. i've been missing school because of a dumb cold, so i'm swamped with shit to get done there. that always stresses me. i still got a cold. the house is a mess. this always stresses me. i'm the main one to do the cleaning but since i've wanted to do nothing but lay around shit piled up. i haven't showered in a couple days. heh. i'm so hungry eheh. it's three fourty in the a.m. i want to cook, clean up, and get this project done but then i get up. and sit back down again. i can't bring myself to do anything even though i kind of feel like it. i don't even know why i'm going to make a thread about this or if i'm going to even hit the submit button at this point. just don't know what's wrong with me. i wish that living was fun for me. nah, getting high doens't help. i have this weak high and don't even get a stoned feeling so i feel more like i'm wasting bud. man, i don't know. any suggestions? for..anything at all..? -peace and love.