Dom/Sub/BDSM?

yeah lol.
 
Um I was just reading somewhere about how there are 2 types of candles like you guys were saying, one is 100% paraffin wax and the other is combined with something (mineral oil i think like whoever said that), and it melts at a waay higher temperature that can give you serious burns lol.
 
"Why didn't you stop me?" is a good question lol but on the other hand I'm sure you were just in the moment and did not realize at all how serious it was, which is a good example of why the person in control also needs to be extremely aware of how much is too much.

 

yea, thats why I dont think I could ever do it with some random person. gotta know their limit and have some trust, otherwise you end with some injuries and possibly death, depending on what you do.

 

Just bought a pair of handcuffs, got soaked just putting them on my gf and she loved it too... Can't wait until I'm the one being shackled

 

Talked to my friend today..she says she's also submissive, I don't really know what that means to her though. But she really wants her boyfriend to punch her in the face . I didn't really get it.. she was like "aren't you like me?" well yeah I am, and I wasn't judging but that's just really weird and I've never heard anyone being interested in that before lol. I know it wouldn't do anything for me but different strokes I guess.
 
From what little we discussed all this stuff though, it seems like the only things she really mentioned were related to pain and I'm kind of wondering how much she really knows about d/s because it seems to me like she may just be a masochist but is not necessarily actually submissive. And like at one point she dropped something and even though I know she wasn't really being serious, she just gave me "that look" and I was powerless against that and picked it up for her obviously. Maybe she's a switch..i dunno. I can't figure out what she is exactly.

 

hmmm, maybe shes just kind of extreme for pain or atleast thinks she is. some girls like being slapped, she wants to be punched.
 
does sound more M though.

 

 
yeah and use unsceneted ones too lol
this whole yankee candle 'soft blanket' completely ruined the mood for me 

 

I was in the moment yes, but I assure you I was WE'LL aware of how bad it hurt! Lol. See, my gf had told me about the two types of candles, and she told me the ones she had we're the "safe" kind. Of course she found out later she was wrong..lol.
When the wax hit me I simply didn't want to look like a punk or something so I just grit my teeth and held on! The burns we're comparable to a bad cigarette burn... Not cool!

 

My gf is a switch. I'm a hardcore sub so I don't have as fun of a night when she tells me to do the domming. I just do what I'm told lol or pick up on the hints. I'm not a fan of taking charge and humiliating my master. Plus she's taller and stronger so I feel stupid. It's a lot of work for me. I have to get so creative with my bag of tricks(wax, rope, glass rod, etc). By the time all that's over I'm not even thinking about my turn. I just want to sleep Idk how doms do it all the time. But it's much appreciated.

 

it can be kind of tiring. before my hands got fucked up I was getting pretty good at kinbaku. I doubt I could do it now though, my nerves fuck up and I lose strength sometimes.

 

I'm in the mood to really dominate a chick, throw her down, flip her over, pin her down, pull her head back, a lot of other things as well, damn I need to get laid.

 

I have. 
 
I'm a switch, but I lean towards dominant, and the only relationships I had that had any d/s element were with submissive men (note, this does not mean "guys who wanna get buttfucked, FYI). Also, with girls, I lean the other way, I hope to one day find another feminine bi/lesbian girl who's more dominant than me--which will probably never happen.
 
 
anyway, for advice...try not to be too serious. Mantaining a sense of humor even while you're into something dark is very important. That keeps it fun.
 
And make sure that the other person really is into it--isn't just going along with something because they think you like it, or because you asked and they don't want to say no. I once had a girlfriend who knew about a previous BDSM relationship I had, and assumed that I wanted to do the same stuff to her, so she pretended to want things she didn't, and asked me to do things she didn't like. I knew her well enough to tell, and talked to her about it.
 
Other than that, I don't really know what to say. I don't know what kind S/m relationship you're in/considering, what kinds of things you'll be engaging in, or really what you're asking for advice about. You'd be suprised how big an area this is. 

 

Sounds like a masochist to me. Odd types of pain to be after put hey, whatever works for her.
 
Still, It'd be hard for me to punch a girlfriend in the face, even if she was 100% sure she wanted it and asked me to do it. I can be a sadist, but it is of vital importance for me to know that the pain I inflict brings pleasure rather than suffering. I'm not sure if I could help someone who wanted to suffer.

 

 
I agree with you. 
 
The conversations in the groups are usually either really bitchy, or just dead and nobody answers you. People on there can be reight assholes, especially new "doms" who don't get what that means and think being dominant means putting everybody down, and trying to humiliate people until they find someone who likes it. 
 
And people can be serious dicks. One time, somebody went through all my pictures and posted insulting comments on each one for no reason I could think of. I'd never talked to this person, and had no contact with them before, and the insults made no sense.
 
Also, people totally ignore whatever it is you say you want or don't want. My profile clearly states "don't contact me unless I know you."  I get so many creepy requests from random dudes 2-3 times my age saying something like "I want to shove my hungry cock in your little pink cunt and impregnate you".  

 

I wish a guy would dominate me lol

 

cool. sorta surprised to come across this thread
 
i consider myself a switch
there always a time to be in control 
but surrendering and giving into pleasure can be blissful to say the least
 
has anybody here gone to any dungeons or are you more into private play?
 
 
 
my personal turn ons are tantra energy, giving spankings, light bondage, sensory deprivation (blindfolds),
 
i love doing guided meditations with people so i use that to talk myself and others into a scene
it completely engulfs you into the fantasy

 

what activities specifically would you say affect someones energy negatively? 
 
bdsm and tantra push people to be vulnerable emotionally but i can only see it as means of reaching new plateaus of pleasure

 

even if I knew some dungeons in the area, I couldnt do it. I believe there needs to be a certain amount of trust between the people involved cuz shit can get dangerous.

 

nah i dont think danger is a problem as long as you abide by the safe sane and consensual rule 
 
i personally havent gone because i think it would be overwhelming for my psyche.. but who knows.. ill probably grow the courage soon..
 
i feel myself being called more towards the tantra community

 

Lately i've really wanted to be dominated in a serious way. As a kid i always had sexual dreams about being electrocuted (idk why always got me excited and i mean almost convulsive) and torture. Can't explain it but everytime i watch a horror movie involving one of the two i can't help but get aroused. It's just this would take a VERY specific partner to pull off. The danger level is pretty high when you involve serious electricity and purposeful  injury. I have an extreme tolerance for pain and i can take alot so i want to have someone push me up n past but i'm really afraid of things going wrong.
 
Where/how would i find someone who would be qualified and willing to do it? I'm talking serial killer kinda torture it's the ultimate sexual and psychological excitement for me.