Dog just hit me...

you must be high.

 

Bite his ear.

 

how does a dog hit you? do you mean bit?

 

Euthanasia?

 

Dude I drunkenly boxed a boxer dog and got my eye scratched the fuck up. I know what you mean haha

 

Rofling

 

Just reason with him. Go in the other room and explain how you feel and hopefully he'll lighten up a little.

 

Climb out your window and drive to a 24 hour pet store, buy a dog whistle, then come back and whistle that bitch into submission

 

There's just so much winning here I don't even know where to begin.

 

you just got bear clawed by your dog.

Put that bitch in her place

 

Ahhhhh ... You mean your wife!

 

lmao......but Seriously...

1. Your high
2. The dog has some issues that underlie this behavior
3. The issues are either dominance issues (the dog thinks its above you in the pack order), or they are fear/stress issues.
4. You probably did something 'innocent' to trigger that response. Like if the dog got dominance issues you did something that the dog took as you challenging its dominance (making the dog get off your lap, directing or controlling the dog in any way, getting close to a bone or toy the dog likes or doing anything in general that the of didn't want you to do, and that can eve be something like looking at it for too long). If the dog was ever abused/stressed it can be a fear biter and go after you when your not looking.
5. The dog maybe wanted a toke (or just to or play whatever) because it saw you taking a toke and so pawed at you, hurting your eye and freaking you out which freaked the dog out and now he thinks your crazy cause your high.
6. The dog just wanted to cause you to draw funny pictures while your high and post them online.
7. I REALLY wish we could get the dogs side of the story, somehow I think that would be at least as funny as the shit you are saying.

edit: btw wtf is that purple thing in your picture? Somehow I gotta know what that is. Thanks.