Im a very stressed out and high strung person. Even the littlest things piss me off. When Im high, I dont care. I need weed to feel relaxed. If Im not high and its been a while since I smoked, I go right back to this. If someone insults me, I want to kill them. I fantasize how to to do it. I imagine beating the shit out of them or stabbing them. I also have anxiety and depression and I dream about suicide often. Its the only thing that evens me out. Ill always imagine the worst things possible when shit happens. No medication has helped and I refuse therapy since my last therapist ignored the 'patient doctor confidentiality' thing and told my parents everything. I dont feel physical withdraw with it, of course, but I need it to feel ok. Whats wrong with me?
I don't like the word addiction. It's so negative and filled with disgust and a connotation of being trapped. To me, it's just liking something and wanting to do it a lot. We only have so many minutes on this Earth, so why should I not be doing it as much as I can.
you could have some form of bipolar mania that has become dependent on weed. its not that uncommon actually. just remember that smoking more isnt going to help.
If I were you, I'd take some sessions to try to figure out the roots of your issues. And for goodness sakes, WRITE YOUR THOUGHTS DOWN, lol. You'd be surprised what you can learn about yourself after blazing one or two. I've battled depression and bipolar issues, and even though I like being high, I've been able to tolerate being sober more than I used to.
Ive been doing this for a while now, except for writing them all down. Ive written some things down but I dont do it often. Ive come a long way from what I used to be socially, but mentally Im the same. Ive only developed new viewpoints on many different things.
I hear ya dude, I've been goin through the same thing lately. Haven't smoked in a week, and every little thing gets to me. I got nerve problems genetically, so I was pretty bad about anxiety anyway. I'm not a violent person, usually, but lately I just wanna strangle anyone who even looks at me wrong. I'll hopefully be gettin a fat sack today, I can't wait
Im telling you never ever ever write anything down on paper ever.... ppl your parents especially will find it someday bring it to a therapist and have you hospitalized it does help but its a huge risk I found out it might sound stupid but writing in that invisible pen works great you can read it under a black light but know one knows its there im only trying to help you sorry if it came off the wrong way
Your a human...thats whats wrong. Our minds are capable of thinking some crazy ass shit, doesnt mean "your" crazy or your going to act on your thoughts. The difference in someone that acts on thier impulses, like stabbing a dude is simple they arent able to block it out & control thier actions, they simple lose it. If getting high helps, & your worried about that...thinking that maybe you are addicted, weigh the two - not being able to control my thoughts & may just lose it or being hooked on bud. & writing your thoughts down, its what you will always be told by a professional...its kinda like owning up to it, not hiding from it the issue so they can be addressed. Dont worry too much, that never helps. We all have some fucked up shit running through our minds, just think of some good shit, spring is here & summer fun is right around the corner. Besides, most of the people or stuff we get all bent out of shape over isnt nearly worth it, we are just adding years to our life for no good reason, fuck'em...live free & be happy.
Nah, I know what you mean dude. A couple of my friends get grumpy as fuck if they don't blaze for like 6 hours. I get kinda grumpy on about day two.
I am the exact same way, if I go more than a week without smoking, I develop all the symptoms of bipolar mania, last month, after a 3 week T-brake, I almost killed my dad with my bare hands, thank god I was in control enough to walk away.
It is unfortunate that some people become somewhat dependent on marijuana, and people who have smoked for a long time seem to need it. I don't think it's like that with most people though, and even with those who it is, it's usually for young people. Once you become older and have a good career and more responsibilities it's easy to go a long time without smoking. Well, for most people, there's always anomalies.
I dont know if its addiction, thats a very strong word thats used to broadly, to often. I do however have the same symptoms. I usually smoke several times through out the day in order to as my wife says, "maintain an even keel". If i have to attend a meeting or be somewhere where i cant smoke then im nervous, anti-social, etc. What i did observe was that when i quit smoking weed for about a year in 2003, those symptoms did subside after i had quit about three months.
I wouldn't call it addiction either, its more of a mental want than anything else. When I'm irritated and I don't have green, it just makes things worse, albeit it there are other techniques I could use to calm myself down..but when I'm high everything just goes away, and I become almost ZEN-like in nature (as I'm sure many do as well). But then again I can go a couple of days without it if need be, but those aren't the fun days..
You're Bi-polar! Anyone that has a basic knowledge of Mental Disorders would see this. One major trait of Bi-polars is they have get addicted to everything..drugs, sex..whatever. You need some serious therapy!
[quote name='kb142814']You're Bi-polar! Anyone that has a basic knowledge of Mental Disorders would see this. One major trait of Bi-polars is they have get addicted to everything..drugs, sex..whatever. You need some serious therapy![/quot Relax just social anxiety and a little inferiority complex which explains the anger.