Ok, apologize for long story, but you need to know background: Two lovely, crazy, magical, tragical, memorable years it had been with my ex boyfriend. It had all ended in matter of seconds only about ten days ago. I never felt so close with anyone else in my life. He was my best friend, we did everything together. I have known him for almost 5 years now, and we have always been friends in high school and gave a relationship a try about two years ago, the start of my senior year in high school. We both lusted over each other, and loved each other out the ass, guess thats the best way to put it. I thought I was in fucking heaven for the longest time... Last year, I moved 5 hours away from home to start college. He actually got accepted into a technical school 2 miles from campus and was willing to change his life dreams and plans around just to be with me. He took out a loan, for me. Rented a place up there with no money barley, just for me (even though I had my own place too, I basically lived with him). He wanted to go to school in Canada or stay in our hometown of NJ, but instead moved into bumblefuck PA just to continue the relationship with me. Last summer when I started classes at college, he took a bus every weekend 5 hours there and back home, 600 dollars later when he doesn't have any money in the first place, just to see me. This guy seemed to unreal for me. He seemed too nice, but then again I thought I found the one for me. He seemed so dedicated. He was attractive to me, he wasn't some dream guy, never had a problem with girls talking to him, so there was so little to worry about with him. However, arguments started happening since I found out some bs. He went behind my back and talked to these girls that were two grades bellow me, like sophmores in high school, and I was about to start college. He tried to fuck them before we went out, he talked to these girls last summer when I started college, even though we saw each other for about 3 days at a time every week. He told the girls he would chill with them, he even told the one girl how sexy she was and how much he missed her tits. That obviously was enough to tick me off when I saw the conversation in front of my face, about a couple months after it happened. He said he never chilled with them but I broke it off, wasn't even a bitch about it. Just left and told him he was a fucking liar. He came back the next day with flowers (something he never does) and cried to me. I gave in, because he seemed so real about it. About a month after that, I find out some more lies, but nothing with girls this time, even though he was doing some shady shit. We spent most days during the week together, and randomly we would get in really bad arguments. One day though, I don't know what go into him, I caught him in another lie, and he got so mad at me that he pushed me against the wall. He then pushed me to the ground, this scared me. There was so much anger in his face that he even slapped me TWICE hard in the face. Both times I bled a little from my mouth. I obviously couldn't help but cry, and that made him more mad, made him push me more. I tried to leave but couldn't since I didn't have a car and he lives in the middle of nowhere on some big ass hill. So i just ran out of the front door, without knowing where the fuck I was gonna go. I was selfish to give him another chance days later, since the same kind of thing happened only about a month later. I was called a bitch and a cunt by him at least 100 times, just because of stupid little arguments that I would never be a bitch about since that's not how I act. He would try to break up with me when I called him out on something he claimed was not true, even though to find out later it was. He always forgave me each time he pushed me, slapped me, called me cruel names, he would even cry his eyes out over it and claim he dosent understand how he let himself do that. He claims he loves me more than anything, I mean he did change his life around for me. This anger came out of nowehere because of all the arguments. He said it was a buildup, but wtf I get hit in the face over little shit? He even ripped my phone in half one time because of anger, and ripped two of my shirts from grabbing me. This all happened about 2 months ago, and we broke up only 2 weeks ago since I kept giving him chances... Now I don't know what to do. He claims he loves me, that he's sorry, he's trying to do little things everyday to win me back, and even asked me back out yesterday. I said no, I mean I can't cry over some guy, its not worth my time. How can you hit me in the face and say you love me? I don't get it. Just wanted to ask for anyones opinion on this. I can see that he really wants me again, but I don't know if I'll get hurt again. It's a fucked up situation.
I think for the sake of your own safety, you should keep out of that relationship. He sounds extremely unstable... crying and saying sorry is not necessarily a sign that he is remorseful. It may only be another facet of his psychological issues. He might be sorry while he's not attacking you, and it may not even be in his control. But that just further points towards the need for him to get medical help. I am not saying you should never talk to him again but definitely try reduce any risk of being attacked or isolated with him.
Obviously this guy can't appreciate a good thing, there are lots of others that can. It's painful for you now, but keep away from him, break all contact. If he won't take no for an answer, then a restraining order is in order.
Run and stay far away. Violence never equals love. Real love doesn't talk shit to you or hit you. You are not a possession. You are a human being and he should've thought twice about raising that hand. Things like that will never change and sadly a lot of times the abuse escalates. You need to be strong enough to say no more and if you need law enforcement to get involved then so be it. You're young and there's so much more out there for you. Don't waste it, I know it's hard but don't throw away your life for him. Honestly I would never be able to forgive someone for hitting me...not uh. I would load a bowl, play a sad song and move on.
^^^this. Most of the time, when a relationship reaches the point of physical abuse, it continues to escalate. I wouldn't stick around if it were me. History has a tendency to repeat itself. It's possible that it will be a never ending cycle of him being physically and emotionally abusive. There will come a time that you have completely lost YOU. Save yourself now, the longer it continues the harder it will be to get out. ABUSE IS NOT LOVE. I'm very sorry to hear what you're going through, I wish you the very best. Good luck and be safe!!
Real love has no limits and no rules. There is no 'real love' that you must conform to, there is no such thing as real love. Real love is just what it is, not what it is dictated to be by movies and romance novels.
Does he deserve a second chance? Hell no! You already gave him a second chance for trying to hook up with other girls. Then he hit you, and you gave him a third chance. Then he hit you again, and you gave him a fourth chance. 1) Never speak to him again. He's a piece of shit who doesn't deserve to have any woman speak to him. He doesn't even deserve to be free; he should be imprisoned for assault. 2) You need to report this to the police. People like him won't stop; he will hit other women. Trust me, you will find other guys who want to be with you and will not hit you. This is going to be incredibly harsh but I think it's what is needed to give you a dose of reality: if you ever date him again, you are an idiot. Be smart; keep yourself safe.
I agree to disagree. I know what real love is, I have it everyday. And no it doesn't come from movies or romance novels, not that I've ever even read a romance novel. Real love exists to me in my life everyday, I don't care about you. (hopefully that doesn't sound too mean) Anyway this is about mandaxpanda, girl I hope you find what you deserve.
I don't think you should be asking us. Sit down with him, ask him why he did it, cry with each other, see what you feel, see what he feels, and go from there. BUT only take him back if it's absolutely clear you will never be harmed again.
I already did this and he dosen't even know himself why he did it. He says he wish he could take it all back, being friends with him for so long, I know he never got angry like that, nor with anyone else. He claims he got that angry because of a buildup of little arguments, but that does not make it right or OK for him to slap me in the face. I never did anything wrong to him, nor was I ever really bitchy, or never even attempted to talk to any other guy. My focus was always on him. We both cried in eachother's arms, it made me miss him, and I know he misses me. He asked me back out the other day, and of course I said no. He said that he really misses me, and misses having my company all the time. He told me he would never hurt me like that again, but I can't believe him. He said the same a couple months ago when he first hit me, and it happened only again a week later, and another time a couple weeks after that. For awhile though shits been ok after that, but it bothers/bothered me so much that I had to break it off only ten days ago. I can't be with him because I will always be thinking "O, he might slap me again" and I don't want that =(. He was the only person in my life that I ever got close to like that, even closer than any family or friend I had because because my ex was also like my best friend. We shared in every activity together. Just blows...
^ it really does blow, i feel your pain. not much we can tell ya, if you think he is a genuinely good guy and he isn't going to snap on you again and he cares about you then maybe you should take him back, but it's up to you to deem wether he means what he's saying or not.
I had to stop reading at the part where he slapped you. You obviously deserve better. It doesn't matter how rich he is, or how attractive, or that he's willing to change his life for you. That fucking piece of shit pushed you then hit you. FUCK. THAT.
I don't know where you got your concept of love from, is it innate? We can only know what things are by experiencing them (not first hand, experiencing as in seeing them and imitating), or from logic and reason. Tell me, what is it that you know?
People's perceptions differ, as you get older, this'll probably be something that you realize The consensus appears to be that Abuse is NOT Love. Do you have anything to contribute that may be beneficial to the OP? It looks like all you're doing is trying to start something with another poster in this thread
All I was trying to say was that you shouldn't try and label 'true love', it is a matter of perception and there is no definition of love, we will never know the feelings of others, it's all subjective and a matter of perception. Abuse can be out of love, for sure. OP has found her answer, I think, which is probably also the right one. Is the thread not allowed to explore other avenues and issues? Sorry if it's not.
first he gots you fucked up for hitting you. so don't give him another chance. What a dick he's a selfish one alright,IMHO gtfo that relationship.
I agree that we'll never truly know the feelings of others, and that "love" is subjective, defined uniquely by each beholder. But I'll have to agree to disagree that Abuse can be out of love. btw...that's not what I said - reread my post. You've been in here twice and both times quoted/directed your response to the same person - not the OP edit: sorry for hijacking your thread OP.