[Not sure if this is the right section..] I use to LOVE smoking, I loved everything about it, except sometimes the taste, and when my mouth went numb. I use to smoke every single day for months on end with no break. I remember I loved sitting with my friends wishing that kool-aid would come out of the sky, and stupid bs like that. Well recently I had to stop smoking, it got so bad. I felt like I wasn't myself, like I was seeing out of my eyes but I was in somebody else's body, I'd get so extremely antsy and my anxiety levels would spike up, nothing can change it. I'd be stuck in that mood the whole time until I wasn't high anymore. I'm literally afraid to smoke, I think it might've started when I tried triple c's and had a encounter with the devil lol.. He told me I was dead, so I'm not sure if because it was such a traumatic experience(to me) that it just lingers in the back of my mind and when I smoke i guess I kind of remember it? What do you think?
Hmm, check out depersonalization and derealization. It sounds like that might be what you are experiencing. Ego death is a similar concept. I had a pretty crazy time on some acid once and thought I was dying and then dead and in hell. Fuckin gnarly lol. But you might have underlying mental problems, or the bud you're smoking is really good and you need to get used to it.
well I'm having a visit with a psychologist. My general dr. think's I might be bi-polar.. Think that could have something to do with it?
Yeah if you're really bipolar bud could have some negative effects. You just gotta decide if its worth it or not to you. If its not an enjoyable experience than I'd say just dont toke and don't take lithium if you are bipolar unless you wanna be a robot
I've heard really bad things about lithium, plus you have to get blood work for it, because the amount needed for someone who is bi-polar it reaches toxic levels. kills your liver and such.. I'm kind of hoping that maybe if i get medication to feel right, i'll be able to smoke again. But i looked up the depersonalization, sounds really familiar.. It's all from anxiety and I do have an anxiety disorder.. I hope I can eventually smoke again
Bud is a great medicine itself, if you have access to legit strains try to get some pure indica. It should be a gnarly body high without the racing thoughts that usually causes anxiety. I would recommend staying away from pharmaceuticals if at all possible. The only things I'll trust from a lab are phenethylamines and tryptamines lol. But to each their own. Either way I hope it works out for you and you can still enjoy a toke every now and then Just wondering do you get benzos for anxiety? I despise benzos and doctors that prescribe them
they thought maybe putting me on Lexapro would help, i decided one night to eat 5 of them.. because it made me so upset. and i literally felt trapped. So i no longer take advice from my old DR. and switched, who now is listening to me and has me referred to see someone. But I don't really like xanx too much.. the only kind of pills I take are percocet for my pain, my other dr's have had me on it for 3 months straight and i'm finally done with my perscriptions..so i'm going to get further testing done to see whats wrong. -shrug- my whole body hates me rofl.
Therapy. And dont buy into the medication unless there is no other way. you just gotta change your habits. Work out more. Eat better. Do yoga. Things like that