Do you think...

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by HippieeeChick, Dec 31, 2012.

  1. Do you think you can convince yourself you're in love... but not actually be in love? ...If that makes sense.
     
  2. You can be in love with a memory. I think you may need to leave your man Hippie. It may not be the answer you want but I've seen quite a few posts relating to this from you. I've been there and it sucks =/, but is sometimes the unavoidable truth
     
  3. I think often times people rationalize to themselves to keep relationships going or mitigate the future emotional pain.

    I think of love as something you either know or you don't. You either know you're in love, or you're probably not to be honest, at least in my opinion.
     
  4. Most definitely.
     
  5. I really just don't know. I don't even know what to say. I just need to think... My head is so fucking knotted up right now with all kinds of shit... You guys don't even know the half of it :(
     
  6. isn't that called infatuation?
     
  7. It's important to relax and try to be objective when you think, the emotions, pressures, and strains only cloud your judgement.
     

  8. Well... If that's the case... My judgement is seriously fucked. Cloudy doesn't even begin to describe it.
     
  9. Then take a moment to yourself, allow your thoughts to slip away and start from the beginning with a new focus on what you want and what makes you happy and whether or not these pressures and things that make you unhappy are valid or not.
     
  10. you can be in love with the idea of being with a certain person but not actually be in love with him/her. it's a very fine line and only you can know the difference
     

  11. That's actually really good advice. I've never thought of doing it that way before. It would take the stress out of it. Thanks a lot :)
     
  12. Yes I think you can convince yourself of being in love when you really aren't. Love shouldn't be a question. If you second guess it, it isn't real.

    Why, are you wondering if you're in it for the right reasons? If its because of abuse love yourself first.
     


  13. Infatuation is more like what would happen in the very beginning of a relationship. Where you're feeling an intense attraction to the person and may call it "love" but you probably don't know them well enough to actually be "in love" yet.

    Assuming OP has been in this relationship for an extended period of time, I don't think it's infatuation anymore. In a case like this, it's probably more about caring, comfort, and fear.

    You care about the person because you've spent a lot of time with them and gotten to know them really well, you get all comfortable just knowing that you're in a relationship, and you fear leaving that person and being alone.

    I can relate. I felt the same way with my ex. I felt like I was in love, like I wanted to spend my life with him. Deep down were feelings I chose not to acknowledge, the feeling that maybe I could do better and wondering if this is really how I wanted to spend my life. But I was afraid that I couldn't do any better, that this was the "one" person I could ever fall in love with who would love me back.

    I was wrong.

    When we broke up I was devastated. But a month later, I was absolutely the happiest I'd been since we had gotten together. A few months and flings after that I met a man who absolutely amazed me with how perfect he was, and we've been very happily married for 5 years now. :p


    The fact that you even have to ask this question tells me that you're feeling some definite doubt here.
     
  14. It's a really long story. I'm just really confused right now. I've been with this guy for 6 years... and it's just been a rough time... and lately it's getting weird... and I just don't know what to do. There's a whole lot more to the situation than that but that's the gist of it. And no, it's not abuse. Not at all :) It's just a lot of bull shit. I just don't know how I feel anymore. I went through stages in the relationship. At first I liked him. Then I thought I loved him. Then I hated him but stayed with him regardless. Then I was crazy in love with him. Now I'm just confused. That's the main parts I suppose. There's so much more though.
     



  15. See, I just don't think that's how I'd want to spend my life... Guaranteed there's someone out there who won't cause you this love/hate roller coaster of a relationship.

    Might be time to accept that you guys just aren't completely compatible? :confused_2:
     
  16. u just got so used to him being around. Take a break from each other and after words see if u still feel the same way about him. You need some space :)
     
  17. Yep, I think so.
    i agree with Saca and taking the space thing..i was with my ex for 4 years and she moved away...thinking i would follow her..but after 6 months....i realize that i was just trying to convince myself to follow for the sake of Love. 6 years is a long time to be dependent on a person, so its hard to disconnet so quickly. but the space thing will help with your answer, i guarantee it.

    But i also believe, "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were. by Kahlil Gibran."
     
  18. Theres a billion dudes out there, settling for dis-satisfaction is silly, love or not.
     
  19. I think I may have been just freaking out a little bit. With this and the other post. I do love him. But I have gotten used to him being around. But who's to say that's a bad thing? It gets hard because I have no friends so there's like never a time where I get away. I mean, he has friends and he does things with them so we're apart there, but I never get out. So I start over analyzing things. And over thinking things... Idk. But things are better :)
     
  20. I would suggest finding an interest in something so that you don't start resenting each other. I just started painting to keep myself busy. I suck but it keeps my mind busy and away from thinking, over thinking and more over thinking.
     
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