Do you think that parents can stop their children from doing what they want?

Discussion in 'General' started by paralozis, Dec 29, 2010.

  1. ^Title

    My mom told me today that she found my weed and it went better than expected. But then the topic of my little brother possibly trying weed in the future came up and I said that if he REALLY wants to do it, she can't really stop him so she should just make sure he's smart about it. I know personally, I would go do shit if I really wanted to and thought it was worth it even if my parents said I couldn't (ex: smoke weed).

    I mean I'm sure the majority of parents don't approve of drugs or drinking but so many people do it anyway. Whether or not the child makes the right decision (a more serious crime than doing drugs), I believe that if someone really wants to do something, he will.

    What do you guys think? And from a parent's perspective..like if you knew you couldn't stop them, what would you do if your child wanted to do something dangerous? Doesn't it just seem like a lost cause then?
    (And no, I'm not a parent so maybe I just don't understand)
     
  2. Until they're 18/ thread
     
  3. So you would have listened to everything your parents said before you were 18?
     
  4. Knowledge is power.
     
  5. With the right kind of discipline and consistent application, I wouldn't be surprised if the answer is effectively a "yes." If you are absolutely set on preventing your kid from doing drugs, you can home school him instead of sending him out to meet all the people with the drugs. I know people who were brought up that way, and it's sad to think about but they're a hell of a lot better-put-together than the ones who it seems everything they do is somehow to spite their parents. They're effectively five years older than kids the same age, but they don't pick up on any of my cultural references unless they reference to literature.
     
  6. I'm very anti-authoritarian and take all of my parents' advice with a grain of salt. It'd be pretty hypocritical of me to impose bullshit rules on my kids that I wouldn't have followed at their age....
     
  7. Absolutely not. Whether or not they make irresponsible decisions depends on how the parents educate and inform their children. They can attempt to scare them from trying certain things or they can pass on their knowledge and experiences.
     
  8. If children fear consequences you can make them do what you want.

    ^One of the golden rules of my student teaching.

    It's different for each child. Sitting out during recess, calling parents, etc

    Older children are clearly different but the principal is the same. Most parents have the title of the car. Pay the cell phone bill, etc.

    I listened pretty well whenever I knew that my social life was at stake.
     
  9. I mean my parents were pretty strict with things like curfew, grades, being responsible (ex: making sure i called home if i was going to be late) and things like that. and i think that's a big reason i'm big on being safe (like designated drivers) when we go out which some people view as annoying but that's just how i grew up.

    but when they said i couldn't smoke weed in 9th grade, i just quit for two years because I figured it wasn't worth it. but i started up again my senior year and i feel like no matter what, they couldn't have stopped me. i mean i'm really safe and educated about weed and its consequences and i almost never drive while i'm high (especially other people).

    but if children want to do something, they'll do it. that's the way I see it and I just don't get how you can combat that even by sheltering them as someone mentioned above
     
  10. but even if you are 18, if you still live at home...if your parents say, "I'm giving you a drug test in a month and if you fail I'm locking up your x-box, taking your car keys, cutting off your cell phone, and taking the television out of your room." (provided that they do not pay for said things themselves.) They will probably stop smoking.
     
  11. I understand where you're coming from and I would stop smoking in a situation like that. But if everyone was like that, why are there so many "how to pass a drug test" threads from people whose parents are testing them?
     
  12. I was one of those rare children who never really rebelled against my parents. My parents were always fair with me, and my dad was very good at explaining why certain things weren't exactly good things to do.

    The only things I've ever really done that they didn't want me to is drugs. Not just weed or mushrooms, which my parents are a little more understanding with (not much though, they still think I shouldn't), but things like Ecstasy and Coke. I should have listened though, I have some serious health issues now that were brought to light by my once beloved Ecstasy.:(

    But when it comes to other people's children, I honestly believe that if the kid wants to try it, there isn't jack shit that will stop him/her from trying it. Unless the kid is home schooled, as was mentioned.
     
  13. Who knows. I think once the parents followed through with their threat and locked their shit up and took everything away from them, they would serve their punishment and if it was sever enough they wouldn't do it again... but if they're willing to risk everything for weed then their priorities are whack.
     
  14. So do you think the more effective parenting technique is preventing them from doing drugs (using fear and stuff) or just educating them to be safe and responsible?
     
  15. Educate them for sure. If they're going to do drugs anyways, may as well let them know as much as possible about them.
     
  16. Not at all. You asked if I thought parents could stop their children from doing what they don't want them to do, and I think, yes. They can.

    I definitely think educating them about said drug is the rout to take.

    My parents taught me about the dangers of alcohol and whatnot whenever I was in high school and I was safe. Hell, they used to pick my drunk ass up at parties during high school so I wouldn't drink and drive. I still toke it up with my mom every now and then.

    but the question at hand is if parents can control their kids, and I think they can. I didn't say I thought it was a more effective parenting method.
     
  17. Yeah, that's how I feel too but when I told that to my mom, she stated that she isn't just going to sit there and let my little brother do drugs. Then I started thinking that maybe it's just one of those things I don't understand because I'm not a parent. I mean when I think about myself as a high schooler, I did and thought about some pretty stupid shit that now I'm just like wtf?

    Except idk. My parents are pretty conservative so that could be why. Both have never tried drugs. My mom never been drunk or smoked. My dad drinks socially or for business and he smokes cigars sometimes.
     
  18. I've learned that if a kid wants to do something, they will do it no matter what the consequences are.
     
  19. I know and I respect your opinion cause you made some really good points. But I was posing another question that I didn't ask in the OP because I didn't even think of it lol
     
  20. I call that the "Sticiking you head in the sand" method of dealing with kids and drugs. Pretending that it will never happen or strong-arming the kid into not doing them is only going to burn bridges between you and your child.
     

Share This Page