Just a simple question for all you blades, do you like yourself? How much? If not, what is preventing you from accepting the person you are? Personally, I've had a long journey. I've been in that place of self loathing, even fetishized it to a degree at one point. But now today I believe that I really do like myself. I've come to a point of accepting who I am as a person and being happy to be me. I think it is only now that I have reached this point that I can truly grow as a person and become the best man I can be. Sure, there are qualities about myself I don't like but if I find any of my qualities to be toxic I work on them and try to better myself into a different person who is still me but not quite so toxic to myself and others. And I'm like 95% sure I have a personality disorder but there's nothing I can do about it because that's just part of who I am and I have to manage it and work on my behavior so I don't hurt myself or others. So now I have replaced the self hate with self love, and through that I can accept the love of others and return that love. I am not perfect, far from it in fact, but accepting my flaws as part of the overall package has really benefited my mental wellbeing. Please comment on your own journey and if you're not there yet, perhaps myself and others can talk you through it and help you get there. We're all friends here so if you're really struggling we want to lift you up. Just remember, you're not alone. Everyone's been through some pain in their life but it's how we manage that pain and grow from it that makes us strong. I look forward to reading your replies...
Id rather hang out with myself than anyone else. I’m pretty much a loner after work besides my wife and kids of course - but its always great when Ive got some me time. so yes I do - and no, it wasnt always like that at all, but at this point ive come to accept who I am J
What don't you like about yourself? I've been there. It took a lot of personal reflection to get me where I am. I even wanted to kill myself because I thought if that's who I was that I didn't want to go on living. The more you explore what it is that you don't like about yourself the closer you are to figuring out how to be someone you can be proud of...
Okay so .... I'm definitely going through a fibro flare and my brain isn't quite with it, so I might use the wrong words or misspell shit, or go off on a tangent. Or get repetitious. That being said.... I like myself. Most of the time. It's a struggle. I realistically know parts of me suck. But I've made a lot of positive progress on those parts considering where I came from. Personally, I've tried to commit suicide a few times for various reasons. Some of them were chemical imbalances. Some weren't. Some were just pure self hatred. Because I thought I was shit. Because I let people push me around and make me think I was shit. Which is why I've been trying my hardest to cut out the toxic people in my life. Because they either bring me down just by being my slightly empathic self around them, or because they're narcissistic assholes (I know way too many?) That don't know how to focus on anything that isn't themselves. ....so. I try to break out of that cycle as much as possible. I make morbid jokes about my past as a way of acceptance of it all and reminding myself that I'm above it and also how far I've come. I will always be a work in progress, but as long as I'm always trying to be the best version of myself, I will like me.
Yea I think for the most part I like my self...as far as being a great/caring mom an wife I do. I realize im not the smartest girl ever an I wish I didn't have a injury that affects my memory but there noting I can do about it I guess. Im one of the nicest most loyal women ever on the planet tho if I consider you a friend an trust you I will do anyting for a person if they are nice to me. I don't have any friends irl tho an I consider the people on GC to be my brothers an sisters an that's fine with me too because yall are great people. I worry about ever ting a bit much an if people like/respect me an sometimes I feel like I get on peoples nerves because of that...but I cant help how I am. To me Honor an Loyalty very important in life tho an that's why I got that Death Before DisHonor tat an try too live by that as well as I can. I gues I like my self for the most part tho an im just trying ti live my best life the same way as ever one else. Being nice an respectful to people even if they don't treat me the same way...My life turned out pretty well but I had to go through some sh*t to get to the good parts ~Toni~
I like myself about 80 percent of the time. There are many things about myself that I don't like. Some of those things I'm working on changing. Some things are with me for life. The older I get, the more accepting of myself I've become. I am who I am.
It's kind of a funny question. I've never done evil acts so I don't hate myself that's for sure. I've picked meaningful jobs and raised two great kids and picked a great partner for life so that's good. I have days where I wished I would have furthered my degree or gotten better at my art and music but I'm not dying so there is still time. I wouldn't mind doing something big that would leave behind a legacy of sorts. Maybe open up a cannabis cancer clinic in my town. Something where I can make a real difference.
Does that sort of thing come from childhood abuse or could it be a number of things? You sound like you've come a long way Free Hat. Right on.
I wasn't abused as a child. That is considered to be a potential cause but it's not the only thing. I'm not quite sure I am why I am. All I know is a lot of my behavior and actions fit the bill for borderline personality disorder and since I've realized that and learned more about the traits and coping strategies I've been able to better manage my emotions and moods and can stop myself when I feel myself going off the deep end. I just have to understand that this is something about me that can't be fixed, it can only be managed. And I don't have a diagnosis but I have other mental health issues at play which I think prevents the personality disorder from being recognized and diagnosed.
Do you do well on cannabis or does that throw you in to an uncomfortable space? I'm glad you were not abused. That would probably have compounded the problem. Continued healing to you Free Hat.
My psychiatrist tells me not to use it. My parents believe me to have an unhealthy relationship with it. My best friend says it makes me too paranoid and that I shouldn't smoke it. I don't think it makes me any more paranoid than I already am though. I am highly paranoid in general, and I think marijuana use lessens that. I have abused it in the past by just staying permastoned. I'm not about that life anymore. It's just not practical or beneficial to me. I'm not smoking atm but I doubt I won't go back to it at some point in my life. I'll just make sure not to have an unhealthy relationship with it in the future...
I think I hate myself deep down. I put on an act for those around me, and even for myself to a degree, putting on a happy face and pretending not to lwt thongs bother me, but on the inside, I'm a lonely, broken person who hates life as it is at the moment