If you are a dream of mine, tell me how to explain you. I had a dream once where I climbed up a garage door until I was inside the garage and fell off the supports after I had climbed past the extent of the door. What must my dream self have been thinking? I climbed past the limit; maybe I was too ambitious. Or, maybe there was a barrier blocking an inside to where I needed to get. The main problem is that all I can do is analyze and guess. So then, if this is my last thought now - my final dream - understanding it is a task even greater than trying to understand a dream after the fact. The truth is that I need to reason my way through this dream while I am still asleep in it; that is what I need to do now if I suppose my life is the last dream. Not wait to wake, but to understand it now. This is troubling territory: I am asking a question to all of you, but I'm not entirely sure that any of you aren't aspects of me. If I am living my own dream, surely I can ask questions until I finally lack the knowledge to answer. Now another problem arises: do i fail because my entire psyche does not know the answer, or do I fail because I have deemed myself unready to know? Once again, an infinite regression threatens to take hold. If this is now my dream, surely I can do better. If my mind can give me anything, surely there is something better than what it is giving me. And yet, if I choose to believe it, it must be me who is putting me through this life. There have been strong ethical lessons along the way, but it has been unnecessarily difficult. Why would I put myself through all the added misery? Try as I might, I am learning little from the miseries of life. I am reasonably content, but the media and the relentless violence and misery it trumpets must be - if I commit to idealism - a component in my universal view. If I entertain the dream for another few moments, I wonder what will be learned from all of that? Only that miserable things happen? Or perhaps that they happen for an important reason beyond the obvious tropes of the typical answers. Is suffering as pointless as it seems to me, or is it trying to show me something I haven't yet seen? If you are within my dream, then you know the same world I do. Tell me how to explain you.
You answered yourself, it is in fact you who is putting yourself through your life. There are definitely outside influences that you have no control over such as other persons' actions, but you do have control over how you respond to those outside influences. Therefore, your feelings, emotions, outlook on life, beliefs, hopes, desires are all ultimately decided by YOU. Now your post does confuse me when you go back and forth between explaining a dream you had, but then you later speak of it in present tense and imply you are still dreaming. Are you questioning life itself as a dream? Or just this very moment as a dream in which you are not yet awake? I can tell you that I am not in your dream, however I have connected with you as of this post. You can say I entered your life. Before I posted you never knew of me and vise versa. But I can assure you I exist and have existed prior to your post. Violence, misery, suffering... it's all debatable. To the person committing the evil act, their mind does not comprehend their actions as evil. You know how regret works? The mind realizes you have done something you consider bad after you have already done it. Whether your action causes violence, misery or suffering, your action has caused it without acknowledging so until after the fact. I think I hit most your post, but lemme know if you want my opinion on anything else. You are not dreaming! Unless if life is all one dream and we just so happened to cross paths, then I don't know what to say of it. Sometimes life is best enjoyed in the moment, not questioning it but living it.