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Dillemma

Discussion in 'General' started by Kiefsweat, Mar 26, 2012.

  1. sorry idk how to spell the word in the thread correctly. beside the point.
    ive gto a problem.
    Ass hair.
    i have accumulated much ass hair on my bum over these past years now, and its just becomng a problem for me, but theres a fork in the road...
    when i drop off my presents in the toilet, a couple hours later i find myself going back to the bathroom to get spots that were missed. appearntly the hair on my ass likes to steal poo from me so as to not wipe it off.:mad:
    ![​IMG]
    so i am wondering. how shouldi treat this situation. i have heard from people that shaving your ass makes it wierd when it gets sweaty. like really wierd. odd feeling or sensation. idk
    but then..i gotta wait for its regeneration at double capacity...
    i dont want to deal with that shit...hahahaha
    could i maybe trim my ass hair and tone down the cliff hangers?? or just clear the forest and let my poo flow freely?
     
  2. Trim the crack. I would feel weird shaving my entire ass with how hairy my legs are... would look weird. That's just me though.
     
  3. "Trim that shit yo"

    Locate the problem areas and take care to make sure theres no places for doo's to hangup on... You dont want a massive mudbrick forming down there with all that hair and stuff. :bolt:
     
  4. Wax that ass. I convinced my friend to do the same, he had a fuckin Chewbacca ass too.
     
  5. A shaved crack feels amazing IMO
     

  6. When shit gets stuck in your ass hairs then drys up and form little poop balls, they are called "Dingle Berries."

    I know this because my butt hole is hairy but you cant really shave it because my neck doesnt turn 180 degrees.Take a trimmer or buzzer and just trim what you can.

    WARNING: If you trim the hairs then your asshole WILL itch.

    EDIT. Or simply take a shower after your poos. Cleans your ass right out.
     
  7. Hahah, full of win KS
     
  8. Only one thing to do.
    Stop smoking, save money, get laser hair removal so that ish will never come back n never be a wildebeest man-child again :smoke:
     
  9. DON'T shave it. If you do it will grow back thicker. Just trim it down man.
     
  10. OP has a case of the dingleberries
     
  11. Don't Shave That Hair!!!
    I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

    No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

    I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

    I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

    Little did I know.

    I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

    Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

    Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

    Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

    As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

    Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
     
  12. tl;dr Don't shave your ass
     
  13. Shit sticking to ass hair is called 'willnots' cus they willnot come off easy hehe

    Never shave your ass it's life ending..ly itchy growing back. one mistake I made at 14 and never again
     
  14. Trim!

    I trim all my lower body.

    Apart from my balls, I shave and put polish on those fuckers. God they are shiny.
     
  15. this thread should be called dingleberrys
     
  16. AHAAHAH bobthebeast, i loled thewhole time i read that, my mouth hurts from laughing so much hahahah
    mygod man, this threadis cracking me up now haha
     
  17. I've said many times I'm only hairy from the waist down DO NOT SHAVE YOUR ASS! Not only will it come back worse but your booty's gonna be itching like crazy. Do what I did, learn to love it. I'm sure I wouldn't have lasted this many winters without it.
     
  18. Doesn't feel weird man, more like breezy and fresh. You'd feel weird with your balls or bush shaved too but kept up with routinely you'd get use to it. More over I really just feel sorry for them drawls... you likely have to buy new ones all the time... :(
     
  19. Me: "Have you ever shaved your ass?"
    *blazing while he's trimming his junk on the toilet*
    [​IMG]
    My Husband: "It chafs."
     
  20. I shave my ass like once every few months. Feels good to me. It took a bit to get use to but I prefer it shaved now. I feel a lot cleaner
     
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