dilema: which girl?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by stealthgrower, May 11, 2010.

  1. #1 stealthgrower, May 11, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: May 11, 2010
    EDIT: i've made up my mind, ty blades for reading and helping.

    right now i'm with this chick (been with her since spring break) who is really hot, pretty chill, fun to be around etc.. but our relationship is mostly just physical, but not only physical. if you took away the sex though our relationship would fall apart fast.
    then there is this other girl who i've been really good friends with for a year, and lately i've been feeling less and less like i want to be just friends with her and more and more like i want to be in a relationship with her. i told her how i felt Saturday, and she told me she didn't think i was right for her because she was a christian and that was a big part of her life and i'm an athiest, this pissed me off, idk i was just offended by it. despite having told me that she very clearly gave me an opening to kiss her today (a few actually), but i didn't take it. me and the other girl had kind of been on a break, so i could have, but i didn't.
    after i left the christian girl i went back to the other one and ended up having sex with her, for the first time in our relationship, and her first time ever... she was a virgin. which unfortunately almost always complicates things.
    if i got in a relationship with the christian girl that i really care about there would probably be nothing past second base going on for a very very long time if ever at all. which would suck for me because i'm a very physical person. plus it might not work out because of the religious differences. it wouldn't be a problem for me, but she might let it get in the way.
    if i stay in the other relationship i will continue having fun, but it wont be emotionally fulfilling at all.
    right now i am leaning a little towards staying in my current relationship and having fun, because i am not so sure if i went for the other girl how well it would actually work out. this is before even considering either girls feelings, just my own. when throwing their feelings into the mix i lean even more towards staying in my current relationship.

    i think i've figured out what i'm going to do after typing all this up, but any input would still be appreciated.
  2. Don't know what to say here. Looks like your dilema is actually a very pleasant one.
  3. Christians are so ass backwards lost man, stay away from that.

    Relationships have the highest long term success rate when the both of you have the same morals.
  4. You're answering your own question here I think, mate.

    Sometimes you find a person that you just have an awesome sexual connection with. It kicks ass, you both know what each other wants and everything is peachy. Until you leave the bedroom.

    Sounds like that is what's happening with you and your girlfriend right now. Do you guys talk/hang out when you aren't having sex? If you guys don't connect on a deeper level, but just love having sex with each other, why don't you communicate that to her?

    If she's young, this will NOT go over well in any way, shape or form. However, your integrity is all you've got. Don't put yourself in a relationship with a girl you can't stand outside of the bedroom. You'll drive yourself crazy doing that.

    Good on you for not kissing the other girl today. I'm going to assume that she is pretty inexperienced with relationships and isn't really a "let's fool around" kind of girl. You need to watch your own back here. She clearly likes you, but is torn because of the religious boundary. If she didn't like you, then she wouldn't be talking to you often, or in this case giving you the opportunity to kiss her.

    She's probably loving the thrill of being "bad." Dating an atheist is a pretty big leap off the dock when you're very religiously involved. You represent a challenge to her, and she represents a challenge to you. The thrill of the chase is fucking awesome, but sometimes, like a dog, you don't really know what to do if you ever catch the car you're chasing.

    It doesn't sound like you're all that wild about your girlfriend if you're willing to risk all of that for a relationship that is already built to implode on itself. That's okay though man, that's what this time is for: figuring shit out.

    Take some time and figure out what you personally want out of your relationships with these girls. Be honest with yourself. If it's sex, fine, but don't string along your current girlfriend who has hopes of a relationship that is more meaningful.

    And hey, if at the end of the day you breakup with your girlfriend and go for the Christian chick, that's your call entirely.

    What's the worst that can happen? You get rejected and have to start from square one. It happens, no biggie.

    TLDR: Figure out what you want and communicate it accordingly.
  5. thanks a lot for your help everyone, especially NothinSpecial. glad to see new intelligent and nice people around the city :)
    i do like my current GF, although i'm not crazy over her, but i think we both want basically the same thing from the relationship, and we're pretty much on the same page. if i get into a relationship with the other girl i think it is destined for failure, just too much of a difference in what we want and our beliefs.
    there's always time for serious relationships later, i'm young :D
  6. That's the spirit. :smoking:

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