anyone else feel as if somewhere along the line (maybe on the threshhold of boy and man, i daresay) you started seeing things differently? like I would like to believe that it would have happened on its own but I sort of feel deep down that weed awoke some sort of spirit within me. I'm a late bloomer to this game of life( i'm turning 25 in may, back in college after a 3-year gap year fucking around, smoking and doing jack) but i've been smoking since I was 18, arguably too young to really have reason to smoke. I'm sure it fucked up my brain development in some ways, but what happened instead is that i started to feel more soul-developed. s i've noticed that there is a continuous connection to a very deep self that weed gets me in touch with. it's like i started to be able to see myself objectively, moving through this path of life, i could see the past present and future me and weed acted as a magnifying glass on my own mind, to be able to understand why things happen and the ripple effect that my actions or behaviors had in the world. i think every young man goes through the standard trials of manhood, but there's also a crossroads where you can go different ways once you get old enough and none of the constraints matter anymore. I was all set to pursue some standard career in business or law or just work in the trades, but lately, i feel more and more called to do something with the other side of myself, the repressed side. because when I was little I was really into music and art, and I tossed that stuff aside during my teenage years because I was insecure and it felt "unmanly" and i got made fun of. now, I feel as if my soul is speaking to me more and more and that as I gain strength as a person, those elements of myself that I shunned or repressed are actually going to become my strengths. i feel as if what i'm really seeking is the most free and unrestrained version of myself. i've met a lot of young kids who just seem to smoke weed as a party thing, or i mean, use it in the most hedonistic way possible, but I do believe that the powers of the ganj can be used for good or evil, it can be a tool for deep personal growth and finding your inner self, or it can be a hedonistic vice. i mean some shrinks might say i got issues, but i think we also tend to label people who have beliefs that we don't understand ya know? i think i'm just waking up, is all it is. you dig? does anyone identify with this?
You just mind fucked me with this very well written post. Will reply properly when I am not so stoned Sent from my ANE-LX2 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
I was smoking in the later 70’s when I was maybe a freshman, maybe a sophomore in high school - sometimes with my buddies but often by myself walking down lonely country roads, sitting in a quiet stand of pine trees, or UP in the trees (man I miss climbing trees but I’d prolly break my neck now), reading books by our stream - whatever. In my own opinion it was a positive thing for me and opened my mind to thoughts I certainly wouldn’t have had otherwise. I’m positive cannabis affects different folks at different ages differently but I also Don’t believe it hindered brain development and possibly/probably opened doors that would have stayed locked. “I know a little something you weren’t ever know“ Grateful Dead, Circa 1966 J
I think the same for me, I think that if weed hadn't offered me an alternate viewpoint, that I would have just caved to social pressure and wouldn't have the sense of identity I do now. I was a total loner, I never was into sports or fighting like the other boys in school, I just wanted to draw and play music. So of course I was ostracized in my youth for being "different"...the beautiful thing though, is once you reach a certain point on your path, you can starting loving and accepting the different side of you and make no apology to anyone for it. For instance, because I was never an overly competitive, aggressive kid, I was a late starter with the ladies. Took me until my early 20s to start to figure it all the fuck out haha. But pot helped heal the emotional wounds for me and put the past behind me and start loving and accepting myself, which in turn creates an energy around you that is magnetic to others once you become a man. It's a total stereotype that stoners are stupid, I think in many cases they are actually more intelligent than average. But they say that people who are intelligent are more likely to be depressed, for the simple reason that they think a lot, and I could write the book about that lol. Weed helped me relax and live in the moment, which became easier as I grew closer and into my adult identity. People have always told me I had an old soul, but honestly, I feel a bit like Benjamin Button...when I was younger, my soul was actually older and I was always unhappy and bitter and and worried like an old man. Now that I'm getting older, I find it easier and easier to be young at heart once more. I believe in reincarnation, I think that the challenges we face in our lives our the universe's way of balancing out karmic energy from your previous life. But now i'm just sounding like a total pothead lol
I know a little something you weren’t ever know“ Grateful Dead, Circa 1966 I always associated these song lyrics with my own mind being opened by, well, let’s just say “mind altering evenings” - because there was NO POSSIBLE WAY that unless someone had experienced the liquid evenings back in the day that I had, that they could ever know what I knew afterwards, or what I wouldn’t have known otherwise. “I know a little something you weren’t ever know“ At the time at least - it was pure magic happening - I was given a Key to intricate locks - but once those doors were thrown wide open, music, Nature, colors, GALAXIES, tremendous positivity- were made known to me - things that I simply would not have even been aware of otherwise. Not just hearing sounds but seeing individual notes that endlessly flowed by in liquid colors - almost to the point of overwhelming but boy if you could hang on and relax!!? I consider myself extremely lucky to have been handed this Key at that point of my life - and while it’s been SO many years - and while these doors are now half shut, the Magic is still there - jeez how I smile and remember! “I know a little something you won’t ever know” J
well, i started going to raves and smoking and tripping balls. yeah it's "EDM", that dance music that most older folks don't like lol, but in a way I feel like it sames the same purpose as a lot of the festivals back in your day. the music i was listening started becoming a metaphor for the changes i was experiencing in my mind and body and soul, and when you're with other people on the same fundamental frequency you start to feel like you're not so different and not so alone in the universe, and when you dance you can release that inexplicable, indescribable energy that you have, or at least, those who are awakened have for me it has simply been a journey of being more awakened and spiritually balanced they say that once you start smoking pot, your brain stops growing and your soul starts growing. i can feel that, because i don't feel my life is a straight line, i feel like it's a helix that keeps looping back in itself. the fundamental me doesn't change, but with each passing year, there's a new layer above and rising upward, a new world or subdivision of myself and everything else that is incredible to discover
You and I, and I’m sure many other young men (i’m in my 50s now) were very much alike - hell, I was a nervous virgin until I was around 20? I was also a loner and still lamb, with the exception of my personal immediate family (wife, 3 daughters, my German Shepard and Paint horse) but this is by my own choosing and I prefer it this way these days. I guarantee that “the magic” was an INTEGRAL part of molding my own psychi into the man I am today - I know for a fact that I would be a very different person otherwise. Before - I was unsure - after, I simply KNEW - and once the doubt was removed I became sure of who I was, what I wanted, where I was going. Before, I had no idea who I even was - afterwards, I knew EXACTLY who I was and where I was going. I changed from a frightened, nervous kid into a man that knew exactly what he wanted. I went from doing an “ok” job at work into a hustling, reliable and responsible individual - becoming the best in my trade and running circles around my peers - amazing myself. If someone working next to me got 5 “items of work” done in “X time”; I got 20. 40. I became proud of who I was where before - I was scared of the future. I know I’m lucky. I had a partner I was working with save my life when I slipped off of a roof 40’ above concrete and steel below - I was in the midst of a swan dive - already over the edge and off of the roof when I felt my right ankle grabbed tightly and next thing I knew I wasn’t falling anymore - my partner had dropped to his knees and had reached out over the roof edge, grabbed my foot and somehow held on????? I found myself hanging upside down by one foot looking up at him - “Oh man - please don’t let go...” Next thing I knew a bunch of my roofer employees were dragging me up from either certain death or a shitty wheelchair life and back onto the roof. He told me that I was the luckiest person he’d ever met. I believe our lives are a direct result of our personal attitudes and my own attitude changed once doors in my mind were opened. “I know a little something you won’t ever know” J
Never did school bs, got good paying career elsewhere’s But from 18-25 ( turning 25 same as you ) definitely changes a lot, I was chef for 6 years last year started painting career instead. Since switching careers started to smoke a hell of a lot more, originally was too level my brain from extreme stress and adrenaline yelling and working non stop hrs in high stress hot violent environment to switching to painting walls / drywall repair etc whilst listening to hair metal. But it changed me as a person calms me focus on all the smaller things in life, lowers anger much more aware of my self and my energy I put off, I focus on being a good leveled person. Since then my life has been coming together better than it ever has. Positivity can take you far I can relate to your artistic side etc, my new career feeds that to a extensive detail plus a nice paycheque Being chef was too but also followed by with extreme adrenaline rushes and stress lol. With that job I was also a pissy prick all the time so I mean just gotta listen to yourself. Follow the path your magnetically pulled to Iv learned fast pushing against that pull will only make you fall further behind. I was a good chef and didn’t want to leave purely because of that, but was I happy? Nah... And I think weed will guide you if you let it. You just have to be willing to listen. Keep following the path your on, Iv started I’m never looking back now. Mens sana in corpore sano Take care of yourself. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum