Did i do the right thing/how awful should i feel?

Discussion in 'General' started by Mr.BunglEsbong, Apr 21, 2006.

  1. Well today me and two friends were celebrating 420 over a few bowls. One of the friends has been in a kind of secret relationship with my (best) friend for a month or two. both me and the other friend know, and he knew we knew ,but none of us have talked about it. So he starts talking about it and asks us a bunch of questions about her and stuff and in the process reveals that although he does like her the only reason he got involved with her in the first place was to meet his goal of having sex with as many people from our highschool as possible. Also he tells us something about her thats very very very personal that i knew but the other guy didnt and she wouldnt want anyone knowing about. So as i said before, this girl is my best friend and i felt like i had to tell her something, but at the same time the guy is one of my good friends and i didnt want to betray his trust as he told me specifically not to tell her. So i decided to tell her just parts of it, but she started crying at one point and got me to tell her the whole story.

    Now its all just fucked up and i dont know how im going to face either of them at school tomorrow. I feel really really bad about betraying my friends trust, the girl keeps telling me that i did the right thing though. I really dont know.

    Any opinions on the situation? dont be afraid to tell me that i seriously fucked up or that im an asshole cus i want your honest opinions.
     
  2. when it comes to narcing on people, this type of thing shouldnt be considered. The way I see it, you chose the lesser of 2 evils. Your guy friend should've known how close you and the chick friend were before he started bragging and dissing and all that kind of shit to you and your other buddy. I did something like that during the winter, a chick friend of mine told me she was banging this other friend of mine and how great it was and all that kind of shit. then months down the road i was all fucked up with my best friend (her ex) and he was going on about how she was still telling him she hadn't fucked anybody since they broke it off. so i told him she was lying, and he asked when she told me this, turns out when she first started boning the other guy my best friend and her were still going out.
    that really fucked up a lot of shit for me but in the end it was worth it. I still feel some remorse about it but oh well, so it goes.
    now, back to your dilema, you kind of did the wrong thing, by listening to all this derogitory shit about your best friend without saying something, but you made up for it when you told her what was going on.
    if he gets all pissed at you in school just shrug it off. dont try to fight with him unless he shoves you around or tries to hit you or something, violence should only ever be used as a last resort.
     
  3. Dude these situations are really hard for me as well. I am in two similar situations but I haven't seen either girl that is getting cheated on. (one situation is much worse than the other) My husband is best friends with both men. I am tremendous friends with one of these women but use to socialize with both girls often. My fear is that the girl I care extremely deeply about is going to feel so hurt that I didn't tell her when I found out what was going on (but the whole spiral of my husband knowing her cheating ass hubby since birth....sucks).

    I feel for you man. I agree with Bubbles, your friend knew you were tight with this gal and should have never put you in that situation. Which one of these people was actually being a friend to you. It wasn't him... (IMHO) Even though that is the case I totally understand the feelings you are having about betraying him. But what is done is done. Now you have nothing to do but back your decision methinks. If he confronts you, would you feel comfortable telling him it was the only thing you could do in your situation and he has already conquered that part of his goal, can't he move on and forget it? Nothing really lost for him at all...

    Good luck man. I'm interested to see how all turns out. :smoke:
     
  4. get ready to buy another sack.. [ahh stressful times]
     
  5. Should have just told the other guy to keep it on the low and not tell your friend that's the girl that her bf talked.
     
  6. I am guessing the secret is that the chick has been molested or something.....I am about fucking sick of every girl I meet having some sort of sexual baggage, mothers WATCH your daughters and if ya get a new boyfriend, don't let him babysit......sorry rant off, story just reminds me exactly of something that happened to me and my ex girl, her friends run mouth, I hear about broken past, ladi di, ladi da, god I hate dirty old men....
     
  7. Whatever happens from this loose-lipped adventure, make sure you learn from it. The next time you stumble into a situation like this, you'll have a better idea what to do. I, myself, have let loose some secrets that shouldn't have been let loose and learned in the end to just excuse myself from the gossip mongering, letting all parties concerned know that I'm not going to be in the middle of it when things explode.

    Secrets should be kept when told in confidence, but then again, if you know you can't keep a secret, tell the person right up front that you can't keep a secret. Don't be letting people tell you secrets that you can't keep. They'll pile up and sooner or later you're going to want to spill the beans about someone, and that's when shit usually hits the fan.

    My ultimate advice? Don't get involved with secrets involving friends. :cool:
     
  8. but tweech, you and i both know drama is everywhere and you cant avoid that shit. if your boy was braggin about boning your best friend you shoulda stopped him right there and been like. she's my best friend. you keep going and no only will i tell here your a dick, i'll hit you in the face.
     

  9. I do my best to avoid that shit, though. Two of my closest friends are married to each other. I'll sit and listen to both of them bitch about each other, but if either one tries to find out through me what the other has said, or if one starts to try to win me over to their 'side', I automatically step back and let them know that they're both my friends and I'm not going to be stuck in the middle of their beef with each other. I'll be a listener. I'll be a counselor. But I won't be stuck in a tug of war between them. And they know that. That way I can remain friends with both of them. And it also gives me two good outlets when I need to vent about my partner. :cool:
     
  10. To me this has nothing to do with Mr.BE being able to keep secrets. Everyone is just letting this male friend skate and he IS actually wrong. I do agree that Mr.BE could have stopped his friend while they were talking but at the same time when you are with your friends it's hard to stop them when they want to talk to you (no matter the subject). Plus lets not even discuss the peer pressure what would have come if Mr.BE would have made a comment to his friend about sharing other people's secrets...

    It also doesn't matter if this girl's secret was that she sharted in gym class or she was molested or whatever. The point is that she shared something personal to her with someone she thought cared for her. All along this asshole wass 100% using her for sex. WEEHEEE yeah lets blame the girl for getting upset... :rolleyes:

    Mr. BE, After reading the comments thus far I am feeling more confident you made the right decision. You are torn between two friends. At least you picked the one that wasn't being a malicious assface to back. And again...this male friend has lost nothing and probably gained a new found respect among men when they find out about his little goal (via the grapevine). -- I know it still sucks for you and my dissing your friend probably isn't helping.

    Fucking society should eat a fat turd in hell.
     
  11. i think you did the right thing. if your friend was just using her for poon, you can't and shouldn't stand by and let someone get hurt like that. just straight up tell your boy, be like dude, your a fucking dick im sorry that i don't want to see my best friend get crushed, and if you can't respect that, hes not worth talking to anyways.
     
  12. ^^^ that smily is doing some good E
     
  13. ive been in this situation


    lets just say i dont talk to either of the people after it happend
     
  14. you did the right thing.

    no one should ever use another person like that. sorry to say it, but your friend is a dick.

    he deserves a lot worse than you just telling her.
     
  15. Holy shit, ive never truly believed in psychics, but you sir have some mad skills.

    Yeah the secret that he told us, which he definately should not have, was that when she was 12 she was involved with a real bad guy who was 16, i dont know all the details but that the basis of it.
     
  16. Out of everything that was said in this thread, that is what you chose to respond to? I don't really think that is any of our business. What if anything has happened between you and your male friend?
     
  17. I think that if you just want to get some tail, it's important not to go down with any girls you think are going to get emotionaly attached to you. It's pretty rotten to crush a girl's feelings just to get laid.

    I think you did the right thing.
     
  18. Ok, so, heres the deal as of now

    I asked her not to tell any of her girlfriends about it because even though i told her i still felt pretty bad about letting that secret out and i didnt want every chatty schoolgirl talking about a secret i was supposed to keep. So i tell her very clearly and we go our seperate ways.

    About 5 minutes later im walking down the hall and past the girls bathroom and i hear her voice through fucking paper-thin walls,
    shes in there talking to her friend about it, of course. So i open the door and make it clear that i heard the whole thing, pretty pissed at her.
    later on we took a walk and made up, shes not seeing him anymore (hasnt told him that yet though) and the girl she told was pretty trust worthy so no real damage but i have learned a valuable lesson.

    People Dont keep secrets!
     

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