Describe Yourself, let's get to know each other

Discussion in 'General' started by Smokentoke420, May 21, 2008.

  1. Hell yeah Rhythm. Glad you posted an actual story :D

    And nice thread, SNT!

    As for me, 20-year-old whitey from SoCal. I've lived all over, from Washington D.C. to New York to California. I've spent the last 8 years in SoCal and I don't feel like leaving anytime soon.

    Music is a huge part of my life. I live to play drums, and I'm a huge punk-rock fan. I listen to all different types of music, and respec anything musically talented, but the roots lay in punk.

    Right now I'm going to school majoring in Marine Biology. I mean...seriously...who doesn't wanna get baked and stare at fish all day?

    As for drugs, I mostly just smoke weed. With the occasional roll and shroom trip in there everyonce in a while. I rarely drink, and when I do, its not a lot. I hate the feeling of being overly fucked up.
     
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  2. ok here goes, hopefully ya feel like reading, cuz i wanna go into detail, kinda like a little preview of my book of my life if i were ever to write it


    my name is Jesse Hawk, i was born april 22, 1987 in forbes hospital in monroeville. i'ved lived in north huntingdon the majority of my life, but lived in wilmerding and turtle creek before i was 3. when i was 3 my parents got divorced due to my moms excessive drug use (particularly heroin) and my dad fought for custody of me because he knew she wasnt a suitable parent for me. once she was fucked up on dope and didnt close the door completely and nodded off on the couch. the wind blew the door open and i crawled out into the freezing cold and snow, only to be found by my neighbors dog about 30-45 minutes later, blue and almost in hypothermic conditions (i was in a diaper). and that was my first near death experience haha.

    i grew up like i guess most other kids who live in a secluded neighborhood would. we played football and cops n robbers n all the shit kids played. there were only 3 of us who were good friends, the other 2 boys were a year older than me and they were friends, and also the bullies of the neighborhood. i always wanted to fight johnathon, but he was really big and and could throw me around. there was also an even older kid named brian who was like the "bad kid" and another kid named brian who was a teenager, so no one really hungout with him. there were alot of fist fights between the 3 of us, more so between ricky and ryan then with me. but i still did my fair share of fighting. ryan was little, but he was like the tougher one, so he beat me up a few times, but ricky would always just get his ass kicked. i remember the one time i was playing with brian (the bad kid) and he tied me to a tree for whatever reason, it was part of what we were playing. he then proceeded to whip me repeatedly with a stick and then left me tied to the tree for about 45 minutes until my dad came outside and found me. my dad always hated brian, cuz brian would cock off to my dad n he used to tell him "wait til you turn 18 buddy" (although he never did fuck him up because by the time brian turned 18, my dads shoulders were fucked up.)

    it was somewhere around the age of 9 or 10 that i met my best friend aaron. the main reason i never knew him up until then was because he lived across the main road by my house, and i wasnt allowed to go by it or cross it. (not that i listened until i was 9, but because i never knew a kid my age lived there) he was best friends with ryan up until we met, and then me and him just kinda clicked and started hanging out all the time, and we didnt really hangout with ricky and ryan anymore. me and aaron were into playin army cuz we wanted to be navy seals, so we would train and do pushups n shit and then put on military camo apparel and rucksacks and go out into the woods and sneak around n dig trenches n shit. it was really fun and i kinda miss those days. around age 12 or 13 me and him got into "extreme sports" like skateboarding, biking, and rollerblading. we built a couple dirt jumps back in the woods and made some ramps n shit. and this made up most of my teenage years with bmx and him skateboarding. when i was just about to turn 16 aaron got a little bit of weed off his friend who smoked. we smoked but we didnt get high. when i did finally get high it was by myself, but aaron was with me riding his dirtbike so he didnt wanna get messed up cuz he wanted to keep riding. from this first time i got high i wanted to try all the drugs (of course with the exception of things like heroin and crack), i was mostly interested in hallucinogens

    (sorry, am i doin the big walls of text? i'm tryin to organize it into individual parts of my life so bare with me)

    it was from this point on basically that what i consider to be the story of my life begins. its around the same time that i joined grass city.

    i went on this website that i cant remember, but it had all kinda drug recipes and legal highs on it, and i learned that you could trip from cough syrup, and that there were only certain kinds that you should take, it mentioned coricidin and warned about the CPM, but i noticed it had the most dxm out of all the products, and it was also in pill form. the first time i did dxm i drank vicks 44 syrup, and when i went up to the register to buy it a girl who rode my bus asked me "so you gonna robotrip?" n i was like yea n she said "the cough syrup is nasty, you should do coricidins" n i was like "you have them?? i didnt see" n she went on to explain what the box looked like etc. this was my downfall. that first time i robotripped i remember hanging out with aaron in the woods, and i grabbed this rake and started doin crazy martial arts shit with it and aaron was amazed. haha i dont know how i did it so good but he was like "dude, did that shit like give you a karate flashback from when you were in tung soo doo?" n i was like "i dunno, i never did anything with a bow before.

    somewhere down the line i learned if you smoke weed while robotripping, it takes you into a whole new world, and this instantly became my drug of choice, nothing felt better than the combination.

    i dont wanna make this too excrutiatingly long, so i'm gonna go into a lil less detail. well probably not cuz i tend to ramble, but i'm gonna at least try to break it up a little more

    then i met the man who would change my life completely. his name was matt hickey, and i thought this kid was the shit. he moved up here from texas and listened to chopped n screwed rap (still my favorite type of rap to this day). he was what you might call a bad influence. he always had weed so i began smoking weed everyday and stealing coricidins everyday as well. we would just be so fucked up and every night my dad would scream at me for being on drugs, and it caused the worst problems that i've ever had.

    i always told myself i would never take more than 10 coricidin pills because after 10 the CPM becomes pretty toxic and can possibly kill you. but one day i took 8 coricidin pills, and absolutely nothing happened all of a sudden, it was like the day before i took 8 and got pretty fucked up, but for whatever reason, the next day produced no effects, talk about a fucking jump in tolerance.

    so through my years of dxm abuse i OD'd quite a few times, the first one was from eating 16 coricidin pills, splittin a bottle of robo between 3 people, and then when the dxm started to kick in, i dropped 12 benadryl's, i dont really remember any of it, but i couldnt even walk or stand up without fallin over.. my friend did the same thing that i did, n he also ended up in the hospital. then 20 days later on october 29th (have the date tattoo'd on my back) i took 32 coricidin pills, and after a debate with my friend on the internet, decided that i needed to go to the hospital. in the hospital they convinced me that i needed to go to rehab and i agreed so i signed some papers and this dude drove me to oakland in a van.. n i wound up not in rehab, but in the psych ward. i got there on halloween.2003 and all the psycho kids were wearin face paint and had candy. there were a few people in there that were semi normal, but then again there was a bitch who put a sock on her hand n talked to it when she got upset too. this one crazy bitch fell in love with me on the first night (she was decent lookin), and we'd have to go in our rooms n shit n keep our doors open sometime n her room was right across the room from mine and she'd be layin on her bed showin me her tits n pussy n shit haha. and one night she snuck over to my room and gave me a blowjob, but then a few days after she wrote me a note saying how she wanted to have my baby n shit. so when i bounced i gave her a fake number n that was the end of that.

    while i was in the psych ward i seen a commercial on TV about the infamous robitussin cough gelcaps. it said it had the same active ingredient as maximum strength robitussin syrup, but without the nasty taste of robitussin. i couldnt wait to try this shit out. so i got out and started outpatient rehab, and that same weekend i went to the movies on 20 robitussin gel caps and 12 benadryls. when i walked out of the movie theatre i lit a cigarette, and on exhaling i vomited all these pills out onto the pavement in front of the movie theatre and started hallucinating hard. i saw a giant mushroom with big muscular arms and mike tysons face, it then came at me and i started running through the parking lot. it was pretty freaky

    from that point on i had alot of crazy hallucinations from drugs. jesus punched me in the face, i smoked a blunt with jesus in heaven and then met the devil and god, i saw a field of grass turn into thousands of rabbits, just to name a few

    i managed to OD (well i dont consider them OD's, but my heart rate hit 220 both times so i was at serious risk of a heart attack) on dxm twice in a 12 day period, both times taking 80 robitussin, the 2nd time just to prove that 80 robitussin wouldnt kill me, although i learned just how much dxm you can take on a few different occasions, such as taking 100 robitussin pills throughout the day in highschool, and also the last time i did and enjoyed dxm, i took 160 robitussin pills and 16 coricidins to top it off. i managed to fall to the ground and have a seizure in a pile of rocks on the side of a fairly busy road, cut myself all up and when my friends ,who had dropped me off there instead of 100 yards away at my girlfriends house, picked me up to throw me in the back of the car, i couldnt move my legs, but shortly after i satup in the back seat n didnt really remember what happened, except for when i started to fall i just remember my vision getting very strange like my vision had froze.

    a few weeks before this happened though i got kicked out of my house on graduation day because i was super fucked up on liquid roxycontin. i spent most of the day crying without being sad, i just couldnt stop crying for some odd reason. i also managed to have sex for the first time that night which is quite strange because i always said if i didnt get laid by the time i graduated that i was going to kill myself. i had a girlfriend all through highschool that i was very in love with, but we never had anywhere to have sex, n i didnt care about sex cuz i was just happy being with her. anyways while i was homeless i survived on a diet of robitussin pills and occasionally a baked potato or some chicken, but mostly robitussin. i began to go into a psychosis during this time and i would have these fucked up twitches, i would rhyme when i talked, and also i started to stutter, but i stuttered entire words saying them twice, and only twice, haha i started to chop n screw my speech so to speak.

    after my dxm addiction was finally over i started fucking with xanax and oxycontin and crack, and also heroin. i was broke alot of the time from buyin these drugs n also weed, and i was hanging out with this dude named mike d who was extremely manipulative, he could always get me to do all kinda shit for him n i'm not sure how, prolly cuz he promised me pills, but then he wouldnt really give me shit, just little peices n shit.

    after i got done fuckin with him i chilled for a long time on bein a druggie n i mostly just smoked weed for about a year.

    then in i think november of last year i started fucking with shootin up morphine/oxycontin/fentanyl patches but these things were all expensive, so since i started buying heroin instead. for 3 months i would do it like once or twice a week, but then in late december it started to escalate and i was doin it every other day. it began to interfere with my life and i quickly got sick of my job n started calling off work alot more frequently (i always called off once every 2 weeks for months before) and then i started getting sick from being at work because i couldnt take it anymore, i had just reached my breaking point with my job (i always hated it, but due to my altered attitude from H it just got to be to much) and i went home early 2 times in 2 weeks. the 2nd time my supervisor told me not to come back to work until he got ahold of me. but this message was relayed from my crew chief n when i asked if i was suspended, he told me i was laid off. so i called up the unemployment office n got on that shit, i was offered my job back, but i just never showed back up and kept collecting unemployment. after i quit my job is when i started to get addicted to heroin and started doing it everyday.

    i dont know how, but i've managed to get heroin every single day except for one day since mid january and thats where i'm at now

    there was a whole lot more i could have wrote, but i got lazy towards the end, i'd have to like sit down and write it in parts if i wanted to actually write out my life story

    i bet this is the longest post in this thread haha
     
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  3. I'm 20, gunna be 21 in July!! Yay for legal drinking, only got ya know like 12 years experience at this point but oh well. I'm in a weird spot in my life now, going through a lot and just trying to figure out where I belong and where I kinda go from here.

    I'm the unloved middle child of a regular working class family, we struggle, but who the hell doesn't with gas prices at 4.16????? :mad:

    I'm going to school to be a kindergarten teacher, though if I had money I'd be going to vet school, I love animals, and I rescue them all the time.

    IRL I'm kinda quiet and keep to myself, not very social except with my friends I already have, idk I'm not much of a people person, most people just aggravate me to an extreme :p

    But at this point really, I'm just trying to change and let go of 5 years of shit I just ended not too long ago, forgiving and forgetting are two new things I'm getting used to lol

    Oh yea I guess I'll just say I smoke pot everyday and have since I started and I love it lol I've done quite a few different things, but I have my limits, most people do. As for right now, I have a yay craving.. c'mon check from work! lol (I just started a new job making 7.65$ fucking minimum wage get paid every 2 week bullshit job)
     
  4. Neg, how do you live? Pay rent, buy food, stay on a computer?

    Have you ever wanted out of your habits?

    Is there a reason why you started your excessive drug use in the first place?


    Thanks for puttin up such a lengthy post man, you just got me even more curious to the life of the infamous Jesse Hawk now.
     

  5. Some people, like myself, just gotta do this shit to be good my man. It's all about what you can do and how much further you can go. People like neg and I, man, people will tell stories about the shit we do until the day they die haha.
     
  6. Pushing boundaries is a completely normal characteristic of human nature. What i was wondering, is if there was any reason that made him find these boundaries in the first place. Y'know?
     
  7. Thas how I am mayne. Always trying to get higher, typical addict characteristic. But I also use for legit reasons as well. BUt like you said man, we Legends. haha. I mean shit, EVERYONE in my area knows who I am, because I used to slang and I do insane amounts of drugs and shit... Oh and there are some people who are out to get me for fuckin their homie up. I've got a shitty reputation.
     
  8. I am 21 and from the Keystone state, we get good bud from up north and shwag from down south. I have no musical talent but I love singing (mostly to myself) and playing the harmonica. I would love to learn how to play the banjo but I would have to start from scratch 'cause I have no understanding of music theory.

    I love to hunt, especially small game. I get a lot of pleasure from taking my .22 and bowl and disappearing for a few days (yay guns and pot). I make all my own smoking pieces, I have never bought any glass and like it that way. I like to carve, so a lot of my homemade pipes are made of wood.

    Last week I sampled my first batch of home distilled absinthe, it was pretty good but I have nothing to compare it to so what do I know.:rolleyes:

    I am pretty personable and have a goodly amount of friends, but people are stressful and I like my "alone time". My Mom has melanoma but nobody outside of the immediate family knows it, I would love to help her out but if she knew I smoked pot she might die just to spite me. :D

    I work for myself painting houses, it is dull but the money is good and Uncle Sam dosn't get a cut (so don't tell him). I would love to go to school for horticulture and one day start a co-op.

    I am a Quaker and a pacifist but there is a difference between healthy aggression and violence.
     
  9. 19 boutta be 20 soon. attending college about an hour away from home, so i go home quite often. Grew up in a small washington rural town that is heavily dominated by mexicans, so when i went to college it was a major culture shock because it was alot different from what i was used to. Stilll tyring to figure out wat ima be doing with the rest of my life. I have a dad works crazy hours on a farm that we own, plus another farm that we live on and sad said to say i feel like he is killing himself with all the hours and all the pesticides he works with, so i try to help him as much as i can, when i can. I have worked in the feilds since i was 12 picking various fruits and other labor work. And i have been smoking dank for about a good year now....thats my life in a nutshell at the moment

    i may not be from the ghetto or anything but i must say my life hasnt been a walk in the park....
     
  10. JOLLYROGER. where the fuck have you been?
     
  11. Im 18 about to turn 19, I live in New Hampshire which i believe is a great place. I go to a community college and am majoring in Social Work, i plan on transfering into maine. I enjoy the country life because its less hectic and stressful.

    I live at home with my father and step mother, whom i get along great with both of them because they are so cool with me smoking, actually my entire family has or is currently smoking so basically we are all very close.

    I love a lot of different music, basically underground rap, hardrock, classic, classical, pop, random shit, weird music that people dont understand, everything.
    Basically: Im very mellow and a very cautious person, i avoid drama, i am a horrible backseat driver and i hate when people do dumb shit. Im sarcastic, enjoy staying at home sometimes rather than the party scene, im a big critic on movies so if i watch one it better be fucking good.

    presently i work full time at the lamest job ever, i have plans on being a great hacky sacker (i know a bit random, but i was told that girls arent usually good at it so id like to prove that wrong), i am smoking right now AND I LOVE MARIJUANA.
     
  12. Yeah, J-Pimp asked the same questions that I was going too.
     
  13. Hiding in your closet :cool: Bet you'd never think to look for me there!
     
  14. It's about time you came out of the closet Watermelon Jolly Rancher!!!;)
     

  15. Me too, write mooore. :D
     

  16. [​IMG]
     
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  17. I´m 20, born in Santaigo de Chile, raised in the MIA for almost ten years and am now living in Viña del Mar, so I got a S.A./Gringo mentality, like sometimes I´ll start talking english out of nowhere with people who have no idea what´s going on xD.

    I like good/real music, from classics like Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, Paganini, Vivaldi to rock, agro, numetal, classic rock, heavy metal, to rap/hip-hop, Bone thugs, Tupac, Biggie Nate dogg, Warren G, instrumental, Satriani, Vai, Becker, oriental, indiginous etc etc etc.

    I like reading, listening/making music, partying and good conversation. One of the things I enjoy the most is to travel and know other places, people, cultures etc, been to about 10 countries, and some states. Love dogs, any kind of moloso (?) dog is good, like a boxer or rotty, neopolitan mastiff stuff like that.

    Right now I´m studying "business administration" (the closest transaltion) because I´d like to be able to do whatever I want when I grow up, and I´ve been considering going to work in the states for the summer (winter up there) or work as a guide in Torres del Paine, but I´ve gotta travel somewhere!

    Been drinking and smoking ciggies since I was 15, smoking bud since I was 17 probably and I consider myself an experience smoker, smoked everything from laced to shwag to mids to DANK!!! and I intend to continue to do so. (But just from mids up now)
     
  18. hey guys i'm 21 and living in Queens. I was born and raised in CT and moved to the city for school. I took one semester and dropped out to figure out what I really wanted to do with my life. Been living here since and probably will until i die.
    my nationality is mexican, puerto rican, scottish, irish and german.

    I'm one of the shyest people I know but I do talk alot in certain circumstances like if I'm drunk or with real cool people or sometimes just because i'm in that kinda mood. I'm a born listener and am therefore a music man. I eat, breathe and live music of all forms and styles. Punk rock, classic rock, trance, rock, hip-hop, metal, pop, classical, jazz...some of my favorite things to listen to are Japanther, Mars Volta, At the Drive-in, Notorious B.I.G., Chamberlain, Dave Matthews Band, Wu-Tang, Michael Franti & Spearhead and many various songs from all sorts of bands. I play guitar and as far as I can tell that's all I want to do with my life. I remember I was a straight-A student before I started playing and would have been had I never began, but I wouldn't trade this life I've chosen for anything. Music is everything.

    My best friends are my girl, my two brothers (twins, a year and a half younger) and a very tight small group of friends in NY and CT that I've met or grown up with over the years. My family and my people are everything to me. I love chill people.

    I'm the kind of person that always did his own thing. People always describe me as being in my own world. Yeah I'm always in my head. Don't know what's goin on there most of the time so I just lose myself in it. I would say that I'm the person who relates to, enjoys the company of, and stands up for the outsider. The "in" group--whatever, wherever that was--was never for me. No one who is shy, self-conscious, depressed or angry has anything to fear from me. I'm there to help up whoever's down and out.

    I've been smoking weed since I was 15--before I ever had a drink. I love it--I always have. I think I've used it to help me become a better person. I think if I hadn't been introduced to the green I would have just become another zombie--a machine--made to blindly live in the quest for money. I will never become that. If I were to do anything besides writing or playing music--I'd somehow get involved with High Times, or marijuana law reform or growing or whatever. I'll never stop blazing.

    I also like to read, write, think, walk, travel, and generally just meet chill people. I want to travel the world and especially America. I've been on road trips down south all the way to Florida, and from Phoenix to LA to Tiajuana and back, I've been to Mexico a few times more, I've been to Kentucky and Tennesee and Burlington, VT but I want to see every town, every city in the US. I love the land, I love the people. Politics could be better though.

    Lastly I love Grasscity. Been browsing for years, but just recently posting. This must be the chillest forum on the internet. No fighting, no usual internet bullshit, everyone acts human. Learned so much from this place and I hope to smoke an L with some of the people on here eventually.

    Gotta roll guys my girls gonna be home soon. Take care. peace
     
  19. Well, I'm 18. I've lived in Cleveland, Ohio my whole life. In the same house for basically my whole life too. I'm about to move into a trailer park, a very nice one with my mom. Our relationship has been rocky but it's obviously getting better.

    I have a boyfriend (l0gic, a fellow blade) that I love more than anyone or anything in the world. He means everything to me. If he proposed to me right now I wouldn't have to think for a split second before I said yes. I really do want to spend the rest of my life with him. He's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. He really has saved my life.

    Art and music are my second loves though. I've been drawing since I could hold a pencil and listen to classic rock my whole life. I'm going to college in the fall and majoring in photography. I want to end up touring with bands, taking live photos, doing merch, doing promo shots, etc.

    I also really love animals. I've been a vegetarian for two years and counting. It's probably one of the most important decisions I've made for myself.

    I like playing video games, I collect gnomes, I love piercings (I have many) and tattoos, I love shopping at thrift stores, flea markets, and garage sales, I dare you to put a single label on me, it's pretty much impossible, but if I had to try I'd say a scene-punk-hippie -goth-stoner-artist.

    On the more negative side, I struggle all day, everyday with cutting, depression and Anorexia. I've had various eating disorders for a very long time. I've lost about 50 lbs as a result. I don't fuck with Bulimia anymore but really, I know, Anorexia isn't that much better. I try to fight cutting and eating disorders, but they're as hard to beat as a drug addiction would be. It's a struggle just to get up out of bed in the morning, but I know I have people that love me very much and that gives me the strength to live through each day.
     
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