I hear all of you, "enlightened", self righteous jerkoffs and all I can say is fuck you. There aint nothing in this world worth living for.
I'm not really depressed. Well, i was. Ever since i was 13-14 years old. Its not as bad as it used to be. Im starting to not drink so much anymore, which was my way of slowly killing myself. The alcohol numbed the pain. I like to think ive gotten better. Everyday i live in fear that everyone i know and hold dear to me will tell me that the only reason they've been my friend is because they thought it was funny, that no one really likes me and every one laughs at me behind my back. Typing it out here just makes it seem so stupid. I've never told anyone any of this. I dont open up to people anymore, I guess you could say im emotionally stunted. Most of the time im happy, i can ignore my depression. But sometimes it just come back in such fierce waves. I was bullied all through high school. I've been called every name in the book. Rumors were started i was gay, then that i was abusive. That doesnt really bother me anymore, im out of high school, i dont associate with those people. Im convinced everyone laughs at me behind my back. Im convinced i dont have any real friends. I know none of this is true, but i believe it. Im not asking for help, or advice, I just wanted someone to know. I've never told anyone. I'm 20.
I gotta say I think ages 18-21 is difficult for males. Many of us don't know what we want to do with our lives, we are evolving from high school to college or the workforce. I think that's why some men ages 18-21 join the military, it's an easy way out. In the military everything is set for you, for the most part. Basically I think many 18-21 men have some mental health issues... Good reason to turn to drugs?
at some point all men will realize their entire lives are a lie, depending on the size and severity of the lie, is how hard and tedious they break down their house of knowledge and build it back up with solely what they know or learn. unfortunately the time frame in which this happens is usually in the time frame most of us are introduced to sweet mary jane, and all that other bunk crack shit. theres a term for it idk what it is. some philosopher termed it.
a lie? only if you live to eat, shit, breathe and get fucked up. which is what alot of people do, but there are better ways of living. having passion. having a mission. your view is overly nihilistic. and untrue.
I've been through some bad times and I can definitely relate. When my parents split I ended up with my dad and he withdrew into sever depression. So much so I questioned whether he'd off himself sometimes. It robbed him of his being. Thankfully, he is back to 100% but it took some time, some will power, and some medication to get him out of his slump. At first I hated the idea of someone taking something so unnatural to be normal, but I've justified it this way; We live in an unnatural place and some people need unnatural remedies to cope with modern living, there is no shame in it. I personally don't take any medication and definitely wouldn't want to but it's something you might want to give another consideration. Something that has helped me tremendously in my life is a book which I will link at the bottom of the post. It combines all sorts of religious thought and concludes that your salvation come from the now (A state of mind to strive for). It's very easy to slip into a negative thought pattern and this book really helped me catch my negative thoughts and (somewhat) break the cycle and has made me a much happier/content person today. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but don't worry man. It's there. Just try to keep your head up, find things you like to do and enjoy the only life you'll have. Cheers. BOOK: The Power of Now by: Eckhart Tolle Amazon.com: The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment (9781577311522): Eckhart Tolle: Books
I agree with this. I also want to add that I'm 21 and i think that most males don't really know who they are as a person and who they really want to be as a person yet. It's definitely been a time for myself of internal struggle and self exploration. But in the end we will figure out who we are and be comfortable with that person. Even though it might not be until we're 25 or some shit. All i gotta say is i've been depressed lately as well, in the sense that life is jaded to me. Nothing except smoking seems to be interesting for me. Of course after i smoke everything is interesting Hopefully for the OP it's just a phase he's going through? That's what it seems to be for myself.
so we live unnaturally. that is the first problem. using an unnatural remedy to cope with an unnatural life is like trying to put out a fire using gas. it only gets people more deeply intertwined into modern society, and further from the Earth. those pills dont solve your problems. they just make you forget about them. i would rather consciously suffer than live in blissful, chemically induced denial.
[quote name='"Egadz"']I've been through some bad times and I can definitely relate. When my parents split I ended up with my dad and he withdrew into sever depression. So much so I questioned whether he'd off himself sometimes. It robbed him of his being. Thankfully, he is back to 100% but it took some time, some will power, and some medication to get him out of his slump. At first I hated the idea of someone taking something so unnatural to be normal, but I've justified it this way; We live in an unnatural place and some people need unnatural remedies to cope with modern living, there is no shame in it. I personally don't take any medication and definitely wouldn't want to but it's something you might want to give another consideration. Something that has helped me tremendously in my life is a book which I will link at the bottom of the post. It combines all sorts of religious thought and concludes that your salvation come from the now (A state of mind to strive for). It's very easy to slip into a negative thought pattern and this book really helped me catch my negative thoughts and (somewhat) break the cycle and has made me a much happier/content person today. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but don't worry man. It's there. Just try to keep your head up, find things you like to do and enjoy the only life you'll have. Cheers. BOOK: The Power of Now by: Eckhart Tolle Amazon.com: The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment (9781577311522): Eckhart Tolle: Books[/quote] that's like saying it's okay to be an alcoholic because we live in an unnatural world.
our world is totally natural. humans were made from nature, and anything we've ever produced has originally come from nature.
^ i suppose, but those Earthly ingredients in those pills are assembled in such a way, and so altered by human hands, that they no longer resemble anything that comes from the earth. they definately dont resemble anything you should put in your body. the most deadly war machines are made from the metal of the Earth, but nothing that existed before man ever resembled them. human ingenuity is good, but humans are flawed. our motives are flawed. our thinking is flawed. as such, our inventions are flawed. the guy who invented those super-chemical antidepressants had some shitty logic, being flawed and human. this is true, natural or not.
[quote name='"Sunn"']our world is totally natural. humans were made from nature, and anything we've ever produced has originally come from nature.[/quote] so then what are synthetic chemicals? natural?
I was working a shitty job and was barely survivng on what i was getting paid, nobody at work gave me any respect for all the hard work i did, i just got fed up with where i was heading. I sold most of the stuff i owned just to get enough money so i could move for a better paying job. I had nothing to loose but only something to gain, happiness. Opening up to people around you works amazingly as well, there is always somebody around you that has gone through something similar, everybody has hard times in life, most people put those memory behind them, just like you should and live in the moment. just be grateful that you wake up every day to see the sun is shining on you. Drugs are definitively the wrong thing to turn to for depression, it just makes you weaker when you rely on something other than yourself to be happy. Find something that motivates you and make a good living out of it. Always think about the FUTURE and NEVER dwell on the past. People say that money doesn't give you happiness but thats total bullshit. Get up and make something for yourself, the only person that can help you when you deeply depressed is yourself. [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBDVarvFqYI[/ame]
I don't think you ever have been or have seen someone with true depression. I watched my Dad go through it in full force. It's more than just being overwhelmed with problems and thinking negatively. It's like you are void of all life, an idea of a human, something illusory. My Dad came from the depths of depression back to himself through therapy (which I believe included meditation, which I think would very much help OP), a lot of time off work, and anti-depressants. He was gone for about 2 years. Yeah, I still don't like the idea of someone taking a drug to feel normal (far from blissful, chemically induced denial), but I guess my point is that it's lesser of the two evils.