Depression over a bitch

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by HittingBud, Oct 30, 2012.

  1. hey guys,

    so this summer was probably the worst summer of my life.

    Although my life in the United States is great, money is no problem, i am recieving a great education, and already know what i plan on studying in college, depression is still an issue with me.

    I'm currently a senior in highschool, and emotionally i cannot even handle myself anymore. I have great grades and go to a great school, and play sports and am in the best shape ive ever been in but none of this fills that emptiness i feel inside me.

    During the summer my girlfriend that i have been with since the 8th grade cheated on me, and that was really bad. She was really my bestfriend, and probably one of my greatest friends, and losing a friend like that suddenly causes a lot of sadness.

    So this was early august/late july that she cheated on me, i dont really want to get into the story but lets just say i did not want to feel life anymore, i did not want to think, i could not eat, i literally was just a mess. I smoked all day everyday. I would sit in my room and just literally wish i was dead.

    Now my parents were horrified from this. They would come to me and be like are you ok? why do you enjoy getting stoned? do you need help?
    i had never been a real pot smoking person before this, but i have smoked weed just about every single day since this has happened. before it was maybe once or twice a month.

    Well after about a month or so i began to workout a lot, and go out to parties and stuff. I began hanging out with a new group of kids, all ass holes to be honest but hey theyre the cool kids who have fun so why not chill with them?well still even though this is happening i still feel depressed.

    Now keep in mind up to this current day, my ex girlfriend has been with two different guys. idk why im really even depressed over this to be honest. I really just hate her for what she did to me, and i feel like she triggered this depression

    I guess it is all caused by me not having any real friends to talk to. no one to vent to. She was my bestfriend and thats what i miss. Having a real friend that you can talk to

    Now i know some of you are gonna say get over her with another girl you're still young but honestly, I've had oppurtunites with more attractive girls and i've pounced on those oppurtunites but honestly it just does not do it for me. Depression is always there. I try not to smoke during the week but i still end up doing it, and over the weekend i literally smoke the entire time, and drink too.

    I guess what this post is is a sort of vent for me. Literally everyday i come home from school and do a fuck load of homework, and workout 3 times a week. I have regular job 12 hours a week too, and i go out friday and saturday nights but i just feel empty. Lost. a feeling i consider depressed. I've always been depressed but never to this extent, i use add medications as well but i really think im depressed and thats what causes the ADD.

    Im to big of a pussy to talk about it with my parents, or my doctor. I dont want to have to rely on a drug to be able to live normally. Atleast marijuana is natural and lets me be aware of my problems, the drugs they prescribe for depression give you a false sense of happiness, its not real.

    Idk if some of you guys have been in this situation and i know life moves on but just think of it this way. I never really went out before this year. I had my girlfriend, we'd watch movies and fuck every friday and saturday night i did not hangout with many other kids. She was my motivation my happiness she kept me on track and now im sort of lost without her.

    I try to keep busy but it just does not do it for me liek i said. idk guys just help me out im in a real bad situation..
     
  2. Grow a pair and focus on a career ok?

    You'll thank me when/if you retire.
     
  3. 1. Find real friends who you can actually talk to, not "friends" who just want to get fucked up all the time.

    2. Find a new girl. Not someone to fuck necessarily, but someone like your old girl who you can talk to. These women are hard to find but they're out there as I'm sure you know.

    3. I never thought I'd say this in my life, but maybe you should stop smoking weed (or just smoke less) and get your head straight. Once you got your life figured out then get back on the herb wagon.
     
  4. If keeping busy isn't doing it for you, then stop being busy. Stop trying to distract yourself and really feel it. But do it sober. Just because weed is harmless doesn't mean you can't use it as an escape, which is exactly what you've been using it as. You need to really come to terms with what happened. Ditch the friends who don't help you in any way whatsoever.

    Write out a letter to her. Don't send it, but put in every single thing you wish you could say to her. It will help sort out your feelings so that you can better identify and be better suited to counter act them.

    And as always, time heals all wounds. It may not feel like it now, and you may think you're unique with a unique problem, but time really does heal all wounds.
     
  5. Girls and weed is ok, in fact it's probably needed.

    A truly smart person knows priorities and won't let some girl get in the way of his whole life ahead of him.

    I wish I was 18 again so I could kick my own ass for focusing on weed and women at that age, because I'm paying for it now with long hours and shit.

    Serious, start thinking about the future somewhat. Now is important too, it's called one night stands.
     
  6. sounds like part of you still likes her for some underlying reason. just gotta learn to accept that she isn't the one man and remember when one door closes another one opens.

    try doing a bit of reading. might sound lame but reading is one thing that takes my mind off of myself and just gets me lost in the book. great stress reliever also helps your cognitive thinking which will aid you in figuring out how to improve your situation
     
  7. I agree with MiloHasAGun, you sound like you arent over her yet, and thats whats holding you back from feeling better if you ask me. other girls dont seem like they'll work because you were with this girl for years and its pretty much all you know and your emotions for all those years were so intertwined with her. you can and will make it on your own man, dont worry about it. just take things one day at a time and try and find something enjoyable to do each day, dont think about weeks and months as a whole with no destination worth getting to
     
  8. What my brother told me when my first love broke my heart:

    "Water is still sweet, the sun still shines. Life moves on."

    I know water isn't sweet (just go with it.), and the 'life moves on' bit sounds a bit careless, but the way he said it, looking up at the sun as we smoked cigarettes was just amazing to me. I'll remember that moment probably until I die. It was a day kind of like today. Gorgeous afternoon, a little cool, the beginning of fall.

    I got over her literally at that exact moment. Life really does go on, and the situation a break-up puts you in can be almost debilitating. But time heals all and eventually you'll relize the way you feel is a choice and that it's time to move on. I let money be my motivater. Having a fatass wad of cash in my pocket always makes me feel good, and every girl in the universe likes money. Girls that tell you they don't like money are bullshitting. Even if all they want is a family, that shit costs money. Gotta have money to pay rent just so you can sit at home and do nothing. And most girls don't like doing nothing. They like to go out and eat at some nice place, watch a movie, go shopping, get coffee etc etc. All of which costs money.

    Good luck bro.
     
  9. im kinda going through the same thing but i know you probably still love her but fuck that bitch man. she obviously didnt care enough so she cheated on you. dont take that the wrong way because most girls are fake in the end. all they do is care about themselves during their teenage years. there are exceptions and i found out the hard way that my first love wasnt an exception. im a senior also. im jacked as hell, a starting linebacker on my school team. probably going to a good college. i get decent grades and did good on my act (28). i vape with my mflb all the time but at times i miss this shit out of her. NOW LISTEN RIGHT NOW you dont miss her, you miss how she made you feel. you miss having a girl to talk to and love you. you miss having a girl to fuck and make you feel good. trust me. find a new girl and youll be alright man. trust me. keep tokin and lifting. money isnt a problem at our age with a job. i gotta shit ton saved up and it makes me feel better. go out and spend some.
     

  10. So true.

    Thanks guys i jsut needed somewhere to vent its been a shitty past few months and i do feel great physically but just when i get home after a long days of work i get that emptiness feeling. Also seeing her with other guys doesnt go so well either i just feel uncomfortable, and deep down i do still have feelings for her even though i do not want them but feelings do not just dissapear like that and i truly feel like she still has feelings for me but their is no way in hell i would ever get back with a girl who cheated on me because that is the worst it can get and it is wrong to do something like that to someone. But you definitely are right i just miss having that person to talk to and make me feel good.

    Thanks everyone for your replies
     
  11. You're a man, rise above that shit.
     

  12. I wish i could i guess im just not mentally as strong as you. I had a tough time in middle school with friends and when i started dating this girl she was really one of my only friends all through highschool, like i still had friends but i never really went out much. Its just tough losing a friend, going from talking to someone everyday to not saying a word to them, its hard.
     
  13. Fuck that bitch, youll get better and get a better girl. Whichever comes first
     
  14. Its rough amigo. Sounds like you're doing the right things. It takes time though. You said you're going to college soon, just look forward to that. Its possible that being home, with the same friends, reminds you of being with her. I mean, if you chilled with her a lot in your house, its hard to be in your house and not think about the past.

    But yeah, you just have to pick yourself up and move on man. Depression is tough to get over though. If you think you actually have depression, go talk it out with a psychologist. Be a man and do what you got to do. Don't stress too much though, just go with the flow
     
  15. This sounds like you OP[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWDDBN5X6Bw&feature=related]I'm Sprung T Pain ft Akon with lyrics - YouTube[/ame]
     
  16. Dude, i went through pretty much the same situation a couple months ago. Although instead of being cheated on physically, it was more an emotional thing, she was hanging out with her ex who i could tell she always still had feelings for. It made me very jealous and eventually she did dump my ass and get with him. It killed me, it really did.
    She was my best friend, my only true friend i could talk to.

    But i'm getting over it, and i feel like i've handled myself very well this time (not my first heartbreak).

    Any contact you have with her, you need to cut off if you already haven't. Block her on any social networking sites you use, delete her number etc. The further you distance yourself from her the easier it will be to move on, trust me. Start working on yourself, keep up the exercise, buy some new clothes and get a haircut. Take up an instrument, find some hobbies. I found that getting a different look made me feel much more confident, and like a different person. Playing guitar and writing songs has helped me immensely, writing down feelings is great relief.

    Also, cut down on the weed and booze man. Maybe smoke a few joints over the weekend and have the occasional drink, but you should try and get through this sober, you're strong enough and you WILL move past this, i promise.

    Sorry, a bit of an essay, but i know how shitty it feels, so i'm totally here if you need someone to talk to. :)
     
  17. just bumping this sadly i'm doing no better than before. Sucks I wish i had more people to talk to. Last night i was at a party and she was there and it is just idk.

    I wish i could be over her and as much as i despise her deep down i still have feelings and it just sucks i never thought it would take this long to get over someone but i guess it shows how much she really meant to me.
     
  18. Keep your head up man, I've been dealing with depression for awhile. I was with a girl for two years and she cheated on me with two people. And I didn't find out for a awhile to, it hurt me so bad. I started using opiates and other dumb stuff that rhymes with soap. I was severely depressed, I wanted to kill myself, I would hurt myself on purpose to take away from the pain. I secluded myself in my house ever since that, I used taking the pain away with drugs It was an escape. I got kicked out of my highschool, eventually got my GED and currently just dropped out of college. Also lost my job. Because I felt useless and still do. I've been dealing with this for awhile but you just need to realize that it happened for a reason, she wasn't good for you. You deserve better than that kid, everyone deserves the best. Try getting more hours at work, started looking at what you want to do life, pursue your DREAM. Don't pick some crappy job you'll hate doing the rest of your life. Think about what you want to do with your life, what you will be happy with, and do it. Chase your dream. I should honestly take my own advice. I'd consider seeing a doctor also, talk to them. I did and seeing a counselor helps to man. Yeah some people may think it's gay or whatever, people hate for no reason. It really helps talking to someone, just being able to get it off your mind. Stay strong message me if you need someone to talk to. I've been there and still am there.
     
  19. It sucks man it really does but just like you said it's over a bitch. And every time you think about her say and I quote "fuck that bitch" over time it'll fade and you'll say that off instinct when you hear her name or see her face. Worked for me. Just throwing it out there. And a wise man told me "why worry when you can say fuck it?"
     
  20. Hey man, don't feel bad..You took a roll of the dice and got your ass burned for it, but atleast you fuckin' rolled!

    There are alot more people out there than you think with this type of problem in their life and you know what they realize? That feeling like your depressed is just that; A problem, in your life. Your life sounds great. Notice how i didnt say "Except your depressed" Your not depressed, you just lost man..It hurts!..But you gotta find a reason to not start 'winning' again, but just start rolling the dice again.

    After that first big loss, rolling the dice can seem like such a huge thing to do; A monumental task and sometimes it is. Sometimes you will roll failure and failure time and time again for years..Or you could win big and never have to roll again.

    But..before that happens you gotta roll the dice and you gotta see the results of that roll through to the very end and you know what, OP? you did just that; You rolled for what you wanted for and saw it through to the end, bitter or not.

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36CYMdFmDeQ]Roll the Dice by Charles Bukowski (poetry reading) - YouTube[/ame]
     
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