So I've been off here for a while cause I pretty much went off the deep end a few months back. I got a DUI the day after thanksgiving, then the next day got arrested for theft, obstructing a police officer and threatening a police officer. I spent thanksgiving weekend in jail and then 2 weeks later, when I was out on PR, I got another theft charge. So I'm looking at a mandatory minimum of 30 days and up to a year. Plus whatever time I have to do for the DUI. I lose my license in less than 2 weeks, which doesn't matter since they took my car. I owe my friend a few hundo so I can't talk to him, and now lately I've been getting into some hard shit I've been coked out, tweaked out, drunk, or stoned every day for the last month, I got kicked out of my house after the DUI, and now I'm left with nothing. My addictions/habits are taking me over and I really don't care because at this point I have nothing more left to lose. I think maybe jail is the thing I need most. But I've really been getting into the speed lately because it's a far better high than anything else I've tried. I've been stealing booze most every day and bumming smokes off whoever has one. I spend my money faster than I can get it. I'm still young with plenty of time to change but what kills me is I have an uncle who I've only met once, because he's a hardcore addict, and noone knows where he is or heard from him in 5-10 years. I feel I'm going the same way but I just don't care.
im hoping that was sarcasm. listen man, you might not care at this particular moment, but you WILL care down the road if you dont try and turn your life around. think about who will be hurt besides yourself too... your only heading down the same path as your uncle if you choose to follow the same path as him.
But you do care, otherwise you wouldn't have taken the time to write this here. Don't stress yourself out over the past; accept it, take responsibility for it, and realize that it's time to live in the NOW. Don't just keep thinking you're a lost cause, so you might as well keep fucking up. You have TONS of potential inside of you. Everyone does. It's whether or not you choose to use it. Get a support system going, try to reconnect with old friends, or family members, or whoever. All you need to do in order to change, is WANT to change. You can do it, don't lose sight of your potential.
Jeez, I started shooting up H in 8th grade (after graduating from Oxys, which I used recreationally as well as for chronic back pain due to a tumor that is still there) and I was always able to pace myself and not get addicted. Sure, I got kicked out of high school but after that I went to an alternative high school and really turned my life around. It's gotta come from you, coke didn't make you do it, and you know it.
Maybe you should take some acid, meditate. Think about your life and face your problems head on well you were on acid. This may help you, it helps me to face my problems when I need to.