Im in a low place. Ive been through the death of two Aunts. I dont think I ever really realized what was going on when it happened. I loved both of them, and they were both wonderful people, but I never accepted what was happening. My grandma has been declining in health the last few years. She has parkinsons and shes been having trouble doing a lot of things she used to. Her condition is getting worse and I fear her time is close. I only see her about once a year and I was able to be there over new years. It may be the alcohol or the south park episode thats on thats about Kenny's terminal disease, but I cant help thinking that its going to happen soon. For the first time in my life I actually talked to God. I never had faith or anything but I dont know what to do anymore.
spirituality is always a good turn when ur down. Talking to your inner self and really being able to recollect your life and your future. Life is tough man and ur going through one of the toughest parts of life, this is your time to truly test your own strength and persevere through. Ive been through tough times in my life and i found myself at low spots until i realized i needed to move on. It will happen to u, me and everyone else, we just need to be strong and find a way to get by. Life is filled with ups and downs. The only way to know suffering is to know true happiness and the only way to truly know happiness is to have suffered. Having both dark and light in your life will help u live your life fully. All of which u have gone through now will contribute to your life in the future and it is what shapes u and I in different ways, making each of us unique. I know u will get through this but u should also know that yourself. Also meditation can help with finding peace and try not to drink or take really any intoxicants until u are out of this state, its not healthy and will make it harder to being happy. Good luck man
Grit your teeth and keep yourself occupied w/ a solid goal. Use your stress to your advantage. I understand the situation man. I lost 4 close relatives in one year, three of them suddenly. Now, I shit you not, I literally am not in touch with any family members at all. It'll make you tough as nails eventually, and alot of petty things that used to bother you wont even register anymore. Hope things get better w/ your state of mind, best advice I can give is to not make any sudden moves, and wait for things to feel normal again. It'll take a long time, but you'll be stronger when it's over. Good luck man.