Dealing with sadness?

Discussion in 'Philosophy' started by Cat Man Do, Aug 7, 2010.

  1. I just feel so unbelievably down sometimes.

    I can be doing nothing in particular, driving, hanging out with friends, working on school work, when the urge to cry crashes over me like a wave, and suddenly everything feels different. Suddenly life seems like a brutal, horrible experience and I don't want any part of it. I don't understand. It's a complete paradigm shift from my normal self. Everything I've been working toward, or enjoying about life before seems painfully pointless, and worthless. I just want to curl up in a ball under my covers and not move, not breath, just disappear into nothing.

    I know I should try therapy or medicine. I have. I've tried more than half a dozen therapists in the last two years. None of them have helped in a significant way (talking about my dreams/drawing my feelings is supposed to curb crippling depression?). I've tried every class and combination of anti-depressant and they've just left me feeling no better, with nasty side effects.

    There has to be some way to reverse this. I feel like a shadow of my former self. I don't recognize who I am anymore - I hate who I am.

    There's no logic too it. I'm a young, successful girl on the verge of finishing my first university degree. I have great friends and a great family but I just put them through hell with this. I know it's lame posting this kind of thing on a forum but I can't talk to any of them. They all think I'm doing so well, getting better, I just can't burden them anymore. They can't help me anyways, no one seems to know how to help me.

    It's difficult because when I feel "normal" I can't understand how I think the way I do when I'm depressed. Life just seems so worthwhile, and I don't have time to do everything I love in a day. But then like a light being switched off that all changes. I just want off this fucking rollercoaster ride. It's tearing my life and my sense of self apart.

    Weed is my aneasthetic. It numbs me when my brain refuses to shut up. But it's not enough. There must be someone else on here who has dealt with this before, who knows something that could help. I just don't know what to do anymore. :(
     
  2. I could list a million and one things that are "suppose" to make you feel better, but none of it matters because there is no quick fix to happiness, no sunshine in a bag, or instant gratification. You know who you are and possibly who you want to be in years to come. Let the past remain where it is, live in the moment, and strive for your future goals.
    Honestly, in my opinion, happiness is a side effect of distraction. If you're in love, everything seems grand and perfect except for the minute fights or issues. The mind no longer contemplates the weight of the world on your shoulders and only has time to fret about you and the relationship. So go out, enjoy the world and all it has to offer with the company of our choice.
     
  3. I understand to an extent. What i do is constantly listen to music. While you concentrate on the words and/or beat, life can just continue sucking. I guess, in a way, ignorance is bliss. I generally like to know the truth behind everything and sometimes it gets to me. When i was little i was so happy. I didn't do anything, i thought there was heaven, and i figured life can't be too hard. So when i started figuring out that we are all ants destined to eternal darkness after our short, miserable lives, depression hit. That's when i started to truly appreciate music and weed. Now it's mostly recreational.
     
  4. Happiness is not something that is "achieved", rather it is more of an immediate sensation where you feel it progressively.

    You may be sub-consciously happy all the time when working. That's fine, but you know how life is... Too much of a good thing can become a bad thing.

    The regulation of serotonin has been uneven if you used anti-depressants. (Horrible thing actually...)

    I know how you feel, and I can be feeling happy or content for over a month, then suddenly crash into sadness and repressed depression.

    Don't lie to yourself to try to make yourself happy. The worst thing you could do is be delusional about your feelings. But rather, look at what is making you unhappy, and tell yourself you need to improve on that aspect of life.
     
  5. Seems to work for me..
     
  6. im sorta in the same rut. weed doesnt even help my depression anymore so im on break till i get my life on track.

    i think what indefinable said has a lot of truth to it. really look into what makes you unhappy. when you feel that wave of sadness think about what is it that made you sad to change it.

    i know you said you have tried therapist and didnt help but i think it would help if you find a therapist and a treatment that suits you. i just started seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist and it seems like it might help me.
     
  7. *nod* I know what you mean sometimes. It's not an extremely common thing for me, but I can relate to the sudden 'world comes crashing down' emotion that seems to appear from nowhere.

    For me, it seems like it happens as a result of my activities. The music I listen to can often bring this out over time (never immediately though). In a given week, If I listen to a lot of music that makes me think about sad things, then it will eventually catch up to me all of a sudden, and I'm down and out for the count until I manage to work it out in my head that nothing has changed, and that I lived perfectly happy before.. Then I just have to wait it out.

    So perhaps it's just an overall response to your activities, the type of input you allow into your mind can persuade you feel certain ways from the inside out.

    Would you be able to recognize the patterns that typically lead into these sessions of depression for you?
     
  8. Thanks for all the great responses. I agree with The Botanist, ignorance is bliss. Or at least selective ignorance is. That's really what weed does for me - shuts my mind up.

    That's the problem, my grasp of who I think I am has been shaken pretty thoroughly by my depression. How can I hold onto my view of myself as a happy, gregarious person with vision and drive when these episodes hit and I feel anything but? When I'm feeling down I feel worthless, withdrawn, and trapped in a life that's never going to end the way I want it. No matter what, death, old age, and illness await me. No path I choose in life is going to be exceptional enough to vindicate such a short and insignificant time in existence. I think of all the time I lose when I'm depressed and I just panic even more. I feel so FUBAR now I'm not sure how I can go about gaining confidence in myself again and confidence in the idea that my future goals will be worthwhile. I don't want to believe I'm just struggling in vain.


    There's a lot of truth to this and actually when I'm not feeling depressed I fire off a round of self-improvement projects. I'll start doing all the things I meant to do while I was feeling so down and actually start to feel really good about myself again. But it never keeps the darkness at bay for long. Out of nowhere I can wake up feeling not quite myself and it intensifies into melancholy, apathy, and depression. When this happens no matter what routines I've adapted while I was feeling well I simply won't care enough to maintain any of them once my mood turns. How can I bring myself to care about taking care of myself, of my life when I don't even care if I take another breath?

    I can have everything lined up the way I want it. And have it all come crashing down on me the second my mood changes. It makes it harder and harder to motivate myself to pick up the pieces and start again when I'm feeling like myself again.

    I suppose stress is a big trigger, and it's something I need to get a better handle on. But how can I be less stressed? There's so much I want to live up to in life, and I feel so far behind already. Also I feel so isolated. No one else my age seems to be going through this, and I feel like such a twisted version of my friends. No one knows what to say to me when I'm feeling down, and no one likes to be around someone who's going to drag them down too...
     
  9. I feel exactly like that too sometimes OP. And I break down and cry at times, and throughout I think of all the things I have yet to do, the things I want to do, the things I am going to do. I think of all the people I am leaving behind, and all the things our ancestors have done to get us here. And I realize, that there are people out there that may need me, and if I am gone, then what would happen to them? This?

    My tears dry up, and I get determined, and I feel like a million bucks, to run outside and show the world, that I am full of life!!
     
  10. It seems like alot of your troubles maybe your own fault...

    Lay down your preconceptions.
    Forget your expectations.
    There's no past or future.
    You do not even exist.
    How can you be sad?


    At least you're probably not this bad at cheering people up. ;)
     
  11. Dude, just live life to be happy. Take it one day at a time. Just be a good person and things will be fine.

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-rJ-6hBfSo]YouTube - ‪BOB MARLEY - DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY‬‎[/ame]
     
  12. I'm not going to tell you that you should look for the good in life and to life live to the fullest extent. I'm not going to say "go see a therapist", because you're your own therapist!

    The turning point in a person's life is a setback, tragedy (physical, emotional), or breakdown in which one will be able to learn and grow from constraints of the mind.

    If you really intend to take action towards sleeping, then by all means, live a happy dream.
    I wouldn't take my life intentionally, but rather by natural causes.

    I'll tell you that I find happiness in helping others. Seeing others upset does not make me upset, but makes me wonder and try to understand.

    Cheer up alright? :rolleyes:
     

  13. I can't really say. I CAN say that I eventually discovered that I'm just not going to be able to do all the wonderful things I want to do in my life. There are limits to what we can accomplish, just like there are limits to how much weight we can bench press. If you're feeling the strain of your lifestyle, then you're going to eventually have to modify it somehow, or it WILL catch up to you and make you depressed and miserable for the rest of your life.

    I'm not suggesting you give up on your dreams, but I am suggesting that you take a step back and figure out what it is that you're doing which is causing this stress and depression.

    If you can figure it out, then you will have control of your own emotions. It will be up to you then to decide what to do- whether or not you're willing to trade the cause for the cure. That's a call only you can make.
     
  14. I've been through that a million times and a million times again.

    First, I'd like to suggest what the Buddhists suggest. Externalize yourself from the emotion and just be aware of it. Know it is only an emotion, a feeling that is. Be aware of it, give attention to it, and just through this alone allow the emotion to fade back to nothing. Then take a sigh of relief and be thankful that everything is impermanent. Don't get attached when a good feeling comes either, let it sift on and off the beach like a wave, without grasping and without holding. Let it flow in and let it flow out, you see?

    If your goal is to be able to quiet your mind, you might want to take up some meditation or yoga classes, since weed won't always be a vice you will want to use. Cut back, introspect, revise your beliefs, realize you no longer have to suffer if you just be. Forget getting so caught up with medley things, focus deep within and breathe. Whenever something comes up, become aware, externalize, breathe, and relax. That is all. No need to worry, no need to get all worked up over nothing you see?

    Remember, it is the ego that feeds off of negative things. ;)
     
  15. You should try out a naturopathic doctor. Some of their practices may seem foreign or even comical to you, but a lot of what works is. Don't take the poisons that big pharma cooks up in their labs.
     

  16. great advice!
     
  17. #17 Shanx420, Aug 8, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 8, 2010
    I know exactly how you feel. I get that way all the time. I think it might be called an existential crisis.

    Pretty much ever since I started smoking and since I tripped a few times, my ego got dissolved and nothing that mattered matters anymore. I realized I'm one of 7 billion and I don't matter at all. It's pretty depressing. Usually I feel alright, but sometimes, even when I'm happy. I'll kind of get this feeling that's like, panning out and looking at things from an objective angle and it all looks so unimportant, like looking at someone elses life. I dunno. It's like I look at things in too much of a long term. If I'm happy, I know it's only temporary, If I'm alive, I know I will be dead. It really makes going day in and day out just feel like a meaningless grind. Nothing can surprise you when you know nothing matters and it all will fade away eventually, no matter what it is.

    Sometimes I wish I would die so I didn't have to waste time doing Human things and could just be the neutral observer I've always wanted to be.
     
  18. This thread is far east man...

    i wish i had something to add...but due to my current addiction/situation my philosophical mind isn't working too well....
     
  19. #19 Cat Man Do, Aug 9, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 9, 2010
    I would say all of my trouble are my fault. Who else could I possibly blame?

    Logically I agree with what you're saying. My reason tells me that there is no point in wallowing in sadness when it accomplishes nothing. Before my first major depressive episode hit, I would have laughed at people like me, or at least been unable to understand. Why be sad? How stupid of a person do you have to be to become depressed? Yes, human life is a tragedy and a farce at the same time but that part's unchangeable. The only choice we have is how we react, and if you're going to be part of a train wreck isn't it smarter to go down laughing?

    I feel like I understand a lot better now, how sadness and melancholy can creep in and slowly poison your brain. Reason can't reign in my emotions. When I feel sad, I feel sad, there's no point or purpose too it, and nothing I do or think can flip the lights back on until they damn well feel like coming back on.

    There's a lot of good advice in this thread. I have to say, one of the happiest points in my life was a 30 day yoga retreat in India. The philosophy behind one of my teachers there made me feel so at peace and at times completely ecstatic. She genuinely wanted to pass on her knowledge to those suffering and is without a doubt the most enlightened person I know. Maybe I should reach out to her again.

    When I left to travel last September it was after a long spell of depression that I thought I would never recover from. In many ways it was a last ditch effort to resurrect my life. It worked though, at least temporarily. I got back at the end of April and was able to ride the euphoria from my experiences for the next few months. I was naive enough to think I had conquered my depressive episodes for good, but in the last month they've been slowly intensifying. The crying spells have been increasing in frequency. I'm just scared. I think I need to drastically shake up my life or spiral downwards for who knows how long.
     
  20. "In life you can expect some trouble, worrying only makes it double. Don't worry, be happy." - Bobby Mcferrin

    Life is all about the pursuit of happiness, it's what everyone struggles for, but you can make the decision to control how you feel. For many years I have practiced a variety of meditating and life theory. There are things only you know will make you happy, but other then those things, you have the power to make everything the way you want it to be.
     

Share This Page