act 1 scene 1 location: Hasta La Pasta Resturant, table for one, Mystery Woman enter, Davey Gravy to wait on one Miss Mystery aaaaaaaaaaand action!
davey gravy : Hi, im Davey gravy... I'll be your waiter tonight, may i take your order ? ( said in a smooth yet cunning manner, with a nice smile and eyebrows Cocked) women: Sure, im ready... I'll have tonights special... The 9 inch Sausage with a side of mashed potatoes and ahhemm Gravy... Davey Gravy: mmmmmm Excelllllllllent choice.... Would you like our special house butter on your mashed potatoes? Women : If it taste anything like you look, then sure. Davey Gravy : :::slight blush::: I don't know what to say, thanks i guess, and it taste even better, i'll put it on myself... ::: As he looks her up and now, noticeing her becomming increasing squimish::: Your food should be out in a sec. Women: Thank you, and by the way, is it cold in her, or is it just me? maybe you could do something to warm me up a little. Davey Gravy : I noticed you were a little cold.... i'll see if i can do something to heat things up in here. Woman: oh' my... is it that obvious?im' so ashamed.. Davey Gravy: Well, they'd stand out even if it wasn't cold in here....your quite attractive if you don't mind me saying.... It would have been hard for me not to notice, i can't take my eyes off of you.
act 2, scene 2 location: Hasta la Pasta kitchen Davey Gravy sticks her order in as he thinks long and hard about the way Miss Mystery eyed him. He wondered if she had noticed the banana he had in his pocket. enter Miss Mystery, kitchen, approaching Davey Gravy's backside aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand action!
lmao i step up behind Davey Gavy, and whisper into his ear " how bad's the grravvy here, Davey Gravy....sliding my hand up and down Davey Gravys leg....ooohhh myy, what's this big boy?"
Davey Gravy: Oh... That's my mother... Miss Mystery: What?!? Davey Gravy: I killed her last week and have been slowly slipping parts of her into the soups of the days to dispose of the evidence... Miss Mystery: Oh, my... (said in a horny fashion, with one hand over her breast, while she holds a finger from the other hand up to the corner of her lips)
Miss Mystery: I just LOVE a man with a big...sense of humor like that. (she starts running her finger down Davey's chest) So what time do you get off........work? Davey Gravy: Any time I want, baby. (Davey rips off his shirt as if it was made of tissue paper) (the bell on the door rings as another customer walks in) Old Lady: Hello, table for o....OH MY! (she faints) (there is an awkward silence, as Davey and Miss Mystery look at each other with confusion) Davey Gravy: Should we...you know... Miss Mystery: Call an ambulance? Davey Gravy: I mean, this is kind of a mood killer right here. It's creepin' me out. Miss Mystery: Can't we have fun first? She'll still be there when we're done...(she starts unbuttoning her shirt. Soon, she is topless. She starts caressing his chest with her hand, moving steadily downwards) Davey Gravy: Well, I don't know. She might need serious medical attention! (Mystery's hand starts nearing the nether regions) I mean sh..ohhhhhhhHHH! Miss Mystery: I knew you'd see it my way. Old Lady: (sitting up) What...where am I? Davey Gravy: Here, let me help you, ma'am. (he breaks away from Mystery's embrace and rushes over to the old lady). Old Lady: Why thank you, young man, I have no idea why I just...(she turns her head, and sees Mystery is topless) OH! (she faints again) Davey Gravy: Oh no. Miss? MISS? (he starts shaking her) Wake up! Miss Mystery: (starting to get impatient) You know, if this is a bad time, I can always come back later. Davey Gravy: No, it's not a bad time! Don't go! See, this woman is fine! (he starts shaking her more violently) AREN'T YOU! Police Chief Laura Mendoza: (entering the restaurant, pistol drawn) Put your hands behind your head and step away from the woman! Davey Gravy: What woman? (looks down, realizes that his attempts to wake up the old woman probably look like he's trying to kill her) Oh. Police Chief Laura Mendoza: Sir, put your hands behind your head! Miss Mystery: Maybe I shouldn't come back later. I'll be going now. Davey Gravy: No, wait! This is all just a misunderstanding! Miss Mystery: (starts putting on her shirt) Police Chief Laura Mendoza: (advances towards Davey, and cuffs him) Davey Gravy: I can't believe this! I'm not even supposed to BE here today! Police Chief Laura Mendoza: You have the right to remain silent... Old Lady: (lifting her head off the ground) Wha... Davey Gravy: (to Mendoza) See? She's not even dead! I mean, I wasn't trying to kill her, I...she just fainted! Old Lady: HE TRIED TO KILL ME! HE'S A DIRTY PERVERT! Police Chief Laura Mendoza: Come on, ma'am. Let's get you to a hospital. (she walks the old lady outside, where an ambulance is waiting) Davey Gravy: (struggling in vain against the handcuffs) Wait, Miss Mystery, don't go! Miss Mystery: See ya, loser. (she starts walking to the door) Police Chief Laura Mendoza: Alright, the old woman is safe and sound in the ambulance. And now, I'm going to... Davey Gravy: Don't take me to jail, man! I didn't do anything! (a baggie of ganja falls out of his pocket) See, I can explai- Police Chief Laura Mendoza: Let me finish! As I was saying, I'm going to...fuck you good and hard. Davey Gravy: I was just...wait, what? Police Chief Laura Mendoza: You didn't think I was going to fuck you with an unconscious old lady on the floor, did you? Davey Gravy: But you... Police Chief Laura Mendoza: I just thought I'd have a little fun with you instead of just taking her to a hospital right away. Davey Gravy: But you pointed a gun at me, and put handcuffs on me! I... Police Chief Laura Mendoza: The handcuffs are for later! (she winks slyly) Miss Mystery: (as she gets to the door) This is the weirdest porno I have ever seen. Police Chief Laura Mendoza: Where do you think you're going, hot stuff? (she pats Miss Mystery on the bottom with her nightstick) Davey Gravy: (stares in shock) Miss Mystery: Well, since you put it that way, maybe I'll stick around. Davey Gravy: I'll get the gravy! (Fade out)
Haha, this thread is cracking me up. Sad Panda, you should think about being a movie director, that shit had me in suspense. Oh, and it took me until you got to here... Police Chief Laura Mendoza: The handcuffs are for later! (she winks slyly) ...to realize that Police Chief Laura Mendoza was a woman. I just assumed that the Police Chief was a man, without reading the officer's name. Which made me think this thread was getting a little freaky. Oh, and Ens-Entium, you're first post in this thread was a little freaky...
Act 3 - Scene 1 Location: Hasta la Pasta kitchen Act 3 begins with Police Chief Laura Mendoza sensualy sucking her index finger and slowly sliding it out of her mouth and down her supple lips. She takes here finger and touches the tip of Davey gravys nose. Ever so slowly she begings to draw it down running it over his lips, chin, down the center of his chest until she inevitably reaches his zipper. Drawing her hand away she begins the dialouge by saying: Police Chief Laura Mendoza: I believe its time to do a full weapons check. You never know what a person like you is.....carrying. Davey Gravy: ( said in a cunning voice) Sorry to dissapoint you chief, but the only weapon im holding is 10 inches and as hard as a rock. I hid it in my pants, hoping you would look. Police Chief Laura Mendoza: Well, i guess its time to do my job then and just to let you know..... im very thourough. Miss Mystery: But Chief, don't you find it dangerous to handle weapons of that calibre? Police Chief Laura Mendoza: Hardly, I consider myself a pro and as you can see i take my job very seriously. I always make sure that the safteys on first, then.....anythings game. Miss Mystery: Mmmmmmmmm..... this dangerous work is making me sooooo hott. Im gonna have to take off my blouse so i can handle this heat (giggle).... (she begins to un-button her shirt) Davey Gravy: How'd i manage to get stuck in the middle of this?! Things are looking rough, Please don't be soo hard on me chief... Police Chief Laura Mendoza: Hard on you? You've been a very naughty boy.... Im gonna ride this out to the end.... and enjoy every second of it. ( The chief looks at Davey with a hungry eye, gently running her tounge over her lips, the scene comes to a close.)
Scene 2 Act 1 Location: The Mendoza Estate Enter Mr. Jimmy "The Meat Man" Mendoza, in the living room, with a butcher knife Meat Man: "Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage! Im gonna kill that bitch! Im gonna kill her! I knew it! I knew she was a cheating bitch! Oh, shes a dead woman! You hear me! A dead woman!" Butcher Knife: "Don't take any guff from these fucking swine!" Meat Man: He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him eat horsemeat. It's simply a question of taste! Butcher Knife: You took too much man, too much, too much!
Act 4, Scene 1 Location: the interior of a post office The reuinion of Davy Gravey and Miss Mystery. Action!
Miss Mystery walks up to Davey. "Well, well, our paths meet again." Miss Mystery "I agree, they do, fancy seeing you here. Maybe we could get a bite to eat?" Davey. "Funny, I was thinking something different." Miss Mystery. Miss Mystery grabs Davey and pulls him into a back room. Then locks the door. "Funny how these things work out, eh?" Davey says. Miss Mystery gets down on her knees, and unbuttons Davey's pants, then slides them down to his feet.