Alright, so let me start off by saying... i usually overthink stuff in a pessimistic way. I usually dont want to date (personal problem, dont feel like explaning, look up my other threads and you'll know what im talking about) So, i actually found a chick I really like, and we get along pretty good, she seems different than other chicks, and she said i seem different than other guys. I thought it would last a long time. We're still going out, but the problem is she doesn't really make an effort, we've been going out for about 2 months now... and only gone out ONE time... yeah.. one time, but she has been gone for 2 weeks outta the 2 months. I know she has time, but never asks to hang out or anything, but will go with her friends (even guy friends) to go do stuff. ....Then she gets sad if im going to break up with her, and said things will change, so im guessin she'll put more effort in, but she didn't even contact me the 2 weeks she was gone, so i dont think anything will change. Kinda makes me depressed, cause i actually gave it a shot, and wanted a good relationship, been a good boyfriend, and now this is happening... Any advice at all would be appreciated, Thanks. Especially if you read all that. tldr: girlfriend doesn't make much of an effort
She doesn't seem that interested if y'all have only gone out once in two months. How can you be bf/gf after one date, are you getting to know her with your phone? I think you could be doing something that's turning her off. Texting/phoning her in a needy manner or something. Or are you being too open with your feelings? That's also a turn off. I think those are the two most common ways a guy turns a girl he really digs off, you give away how much you like her; in other words you're easy for her, she doesn't have to put effort in. I know how it goes with the first chick that really strikes you; oh man we talked on the phone for hours (7 fucking hours one day), she was different from all the other girls, I was different from all the other guys. Rarely went out, and when we did see each other it was normally at each others house. Had more phone sex than actual sex. I was like a sad puppy for that chick, but you live you learn anyway.
Dude im gonna be honest.. Sounds like shes using you for your dick. If she cared for you, you wouldnt HAVE to tell her to put in effort. Is that what you want in a relationship man? To hope its real? Or do you want to KNOW its real? Choice is yours bro.
Sounds possible, honestly i think im too much of a nice guy and just wanted to make sure shes happy... but in the end its making me unhappy. Thanks for the advice. Im gonna just not give a fuck for about a week, see what happens, if I still dont feel good about it, im gonna have to end it and look for a more caring gf. Thanks for the responses. If anyone has anything to add on that would be good too.
Onto the next one my friend, falling is hard on the knees but the game of love is not a gentle one. Learn a lesson or two from it and move on; chalk it up to one more notch on the belt.
Think of it this way man, the next time around you'll be with a girl who will be you for YOU. You won't have to worry about over doing anything with a girl who truly cares about you, cause you both will have that internal bond between you. The pain sucks, it really does, but dwelling will only make it hurt more. Don't take the combined experiences from your past girl and deem them as a failure, but instead, learn from them and use them to make the next girl get the very best you can provide.
She's not that into you man. She probably likes the thought of being a relationship and having the "gf" label...but if she doesn't want most (if not all of your spare time), then she's just not the right one man. Go find someone that's worth your while and who thinks you're worth theirs.