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Custos Clavium's Huge Guide to College Smoking

Discussion in 'Seasoned Marijuana Users' started by Custos Clavium, Aug 9, 2012.

  1. #1 Custos Clavium, Aug 9, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 9, 2012
    Alrighty...I left college a year ago, and began smoking weed my Senior year for the first time. I blazed up every day, sometimes 2-3 times a day, and not once got caught! I lived with 3 other roommate in an apartment on campus. It was just like any other apartment complex, only it was actually on campus and full of students. Anyways, I thought I would make this guide for other students who may not be wise in the ways of avoiding their RAs and other lamer students. I cannot guarantee that this will work 100% of the time in all living situations. I didn’t have a roommate and I wasn’t in a traditional dorm situation, but some of this should still apply to you.

    THE BASICS: Indoor Smoking

    Wet Towel: This is key no matter where you smoke if you wanna keep the smell inside. Take any normal bath towel and get it wet. Not sopping wet, just damp. Roll that thing up and stick it against your closed door from the inside of your room where you are smoking. This will prevent some of the smoke smell from escaping your room via the door. Now, you still have the sides and top of the door to worry about, but this method should reduce the amount of smoke/smell exiting your door by 50-75%. It isn’t the only precaution to take, but is definitely a contributing factor to toker success!

    Incense/Candles/Oil: For some reason every stoner’s logic runs like this “Hmmm...I want to disguise my weed smoke with a better’ll just use more smoke!” I’m personally against incense as a means of covering up pot smoke in college. Every RA, hell every person, who smells incense burning in a dorm will automatically think the resident is smoking. Your objective should be to cut down the amount of smoke in your room or coming out of it. Incense just adds more smoke.

    Candles and scented oils, on the other hand, generally create no smoke at all. You can get high quality candles or scented oils that smell great and are powerful. I had one of those woodwick candles that smelled like a pine tree that I burned around Christmas time. The whole apartment smelled like a Christmas tree, not an ashtray. I also recommend Wildberry scented oils to use with an oil burner. That stuff is potent!

    Be smart about choosing your scents. Something clean and fresh like lavendar or “fresh linens” is gonna just make everything smell clean and tidy, which is the opposite of how most people expect stoner’s rooms to smell.

    Be Clean!: following that thought, clean your damn room! Do your laundry! Take showers! RAs are going to be less suspicious of someone who has a neat appearence. Sure, you’re in college, so having your bed unmade and a few soda cans on the dresser isn’t a horrible thing, but there’s no need for your room to look like one of those post-apocalyptic films where the ruins of modern man’s greatest achievements lay strewn about a wasteland. Also, there’s less chance that your high ass will lose something important that either you have a hard time finding, or your RA discovers during a room check.

    Windows: If you’re gonna have your window open while toking, I suggest getting a box fan and sticking it in your window, with the air blowing out. This clears your room of smoke/smell...conversely, it also sends it outside! Anyone with good detective skills could probably figure out that the window with the box fan in it belonging to the room with kids giggling is probably the one causing the smell of reefer to waft through the air.

    When I smoked I would leave my windows closed until I was done. Then I would open the window and blow air out for like 5-10 minutes, reverse the fan, and blow fresh air in. It seems like a lot to remember and do, but hey, it’s your academic ass on the line.

    As a rule of common sense: If it is night time and you are smoking with all the lights on, or it is generally just easy to see inside your room, CLOSE THE CURTAINS. SHUT THE BLINDS. Duh! The sexy silhouette of some pothead cradling a bong is always a dead giveaway.

    Vents: Yep! If your room has vents, chances are that smell with travel to someone else’s room eventually. Unless others are cool with pot, you run the risk of someone bitching about the smell. A few dryer sheets (changed often) tapped or pinned over the vents will help filter out the smell a little.

    Noise: I would say that 90% of the time that an RA has a complaint called in is for noise. Just because you want to party and have a good time doesn’t mean your neighbors do too. Some people in college - get this - are there to learn! Wow! Some students like to wind down after 7-8pm and expect things to get quiet so they cans study and be to bed by midnight. The best way to make enemies is to be disrespectful, so if you really want to smoke up and blare dubstep, you might want to reconsider or invest in some nice headphones. Even if you live in an apartment or hall of party animals, loud music will cue the RAs that a huge ass party is going on and they might come by to check it out...

    Also, apart from music...your voice. You’re louder than you think when high. Shouting things like “DUDE, HIT THIS SHIT!” or “THIS IS SOME FUCKING GOOD DANK, BRO!!” are not going to help you.

    Joints: There’s many ways to smoke weed. You know this. I’m not gonna elaborate on all of them, but I will say that smoking a joint indoors is a really dumb idea unless you live in your own house alone. The papers, no matter what flavor or composition, STINK when burned. They smoke like crazy, which is not helping your cause in the discreet department.

    ADVANCED TACTICS: Smoking Indoors

    Well they’re not really tactics or that advanced, but here’s a few tricks I thought I’d share.

    Sploof: Common: Everyone who’s been tokin’ a while knows about the sploof. It’s simple and cheap, and can be made with readily available materials:
    1. Take a used toilet paper roll or paper towel roll.
    2. Grab a handful of dryer sheets and stuff ‘em in the tube.
    3. Exhale your smoke through the tube. Repeat as necessary.

    Pros: Reduces the smell of weed smoke in your room.
    Cons: Does not really eliminate any odor, it just makes your room smell like smokey laundry in my opinion.
    Improvement: Used tissue paper spritzed with your personal cologne, body spray, febreeze.

    Sploof: Special: This is a VAST improvement on the traditional sploof. It’s easy to make and requires like a $7 investment and maybe 5 minutes of your life to make.
    1. Go to Wal Mart (or anywhere that sells supplies for fish tanks) and purchase a container of Activated Carbon. It looks like little pieces of black gravel. Costs about $6.
    2. Get an empty plastic drink bottle with a lid.
    3. Find a thumb tac, push pin, or saftey pin. Anything that will poke tiny ass holes into plastic.
    4. Use the pin to poke like as many possible holes as you can into the bottom of your plastic bottle. Just the very bottom. Smoke will come out this end. You want enough holes so that exhaling through it normally takes the same times as exhaling while breathing. Test it and add more holes as needed.
    5. After you have enough holes, pour the activated carbon into the bottle. You may need to make a funnel or something. Figure it out. You want the carbon to at least cover the holes, but I recommend that it be about an inch deep.
    When you smoke, exhale through this bottle!

    Pros: Any smoke that passes through this bottle will be completely odorless! It’s cheap to make and lasts a long time.
    Cons: If you’re not careful you might get carbon powder on your mouth and look like a tard. Other than that, I can’t think of any.

    The carbon won’t last forever. You know it needs to be changed when it smells like smoke inside the bottle after you replace the cap and give it a good shaking. Dump out the old and refresh it with new. A container of carbon should last a very long time before you run out. Also, this eliminates odor, not smoke! Your room will still be hazy!

    Shower Smoking: Hot water generates steam, and steam is amazing for killing weed smoke odor. It’s like magic or some shit. Whether your toking a bong, gravity bong, vape, spoon, one hitter...whatever, smoking in the shower will keep your activities on the down low.
    1. Crank that shower as hot as it will go and let it run. Start packing your bowl as you wait.
    2. When it looks like a sauna in there, with steam all in there (you should have the door closed btw), it’s ready. Toke up and exhale like a free man or woman. The steam will knock out the smell for the most part.
    Pros: Stinks less!
    Cons: You like smoking in a swamp? It’s like that.


    Here’s how I would handle my shit, alone and with friends. It was my ritual. It might work for you, maybe not. All I know is I never got caught, and anytime I had visitors, they always commented on how nice my room smelled. So yeah, here we go.

    1. Place towel at the door. Close all my windows. Draw the blinds/curtains.
    2. Light my candle and let the aroma fill my room.
    3. Grind my herb and pack a bowl. If using a bong, get it all ready with water/ice.
    4. Put my shit away if I don’t need it after grinding. Saves time later.
    5. Grab my carbon sploof, lid off.
    6. Smoke that shit, exhale through sploof.
    7. Let the smoke settle, and clean up everything quick before I go comatose haha.
    8. Once all my gear is out of site safe and secure, open the window and blow air outside with a fan for like 5 minutes. Remove towel from door so that shit can circulate. Reverse fan and blow in clean air.
    9. Enjoy being high as fuck.

    Hope this all helps you young college kids. Smoke a lot. Do your assignments. Graduate and make your family proud.
  2. No replies aiiiiite I'll get in on it haha nice guide man looks like you put some time into it(assuming its not from somewhere else haha) l

    Maybe add tips on how to store chron/pieces, the smell from those can get you caught as well as the process of smokin
  3. #3 Custos Clavium, Aug 10, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2012
    Thanks! Nah, this is an original piece by yours truly.

    Just a bored chick with too much time on her hands and currently out of weed. The next best think to having weed is thinking/writing about when you had some! lol!

    My only advice for storing your weed: Air tight container! If it's really skunky shit, Russian Nesting Doll that shit!

    I found that when my pipes stunk, it was because they weren't clean. As much fun as it may be collecting resin for smoke later, or watching your cool color changing glass gotta determine if it's worth the risk.

    If your room/dwelling seems to be taking on a sweet ashy aroma...wash your pipe!

    Cleaning Glass: No Boil Method
    This is honestly the only way I've ever done it. Mainly because we weren't allowed to have heating elements in our apartment (stupid rule), so boiling was out of the question. Also, I've only ever had glass smoking pipes, so can't help with anything else.

    1. Get isopropyl alcohol. 90% is best and 70% is generally the lowest you'd want. I've used 50% with success on a piece that wasn't in horrifying condition, but the higher the percentage, the better.
    2. Get Sea Salt. Regular salt will work, but sea salt is better because the crystals are larger. The purpose of the salt is to losen up the gunk in your glass by scraping away at it as you slosh it around in there.
    3. Get a plastic container big enough to fit your piece. A ziplock bag will do fine. This is for soaking.

    4. Take your piece and pour a little bit of salt into it. Not a lot, just a little. For instance, if you have a spoon, pour like enough grains to cover the diameter of a skittle. Push it down into the part of the bowl where the empty space is. If you have a bong, pour in like a teaspoon full. Use your noggin!
    5. Pour in the alcohol so that there's enough to slosh around in your piece.
    6. Umm...slosh it around! Shake your piece so that the little salt grains can work their magic. Shake it like 1-5 minutes. BE CAREFUL not to drop it or fling it across the room like a dumbass. It's probably a little slippery due to the alcohol you no doubt got on the outside.
    7. Pour the alcohol out! Watch that brown sludge come out and try not to imagine what your lungs look like. Good Lord...Repeat to your heart's content.
    8. If you think you need to, soak your piece for like 10-15 minutes in the container simply by placing it in there and filling it to the top of your piece with alcohol. Pour it out after 15 minutes or so.
    9. Rinse your piece. Smoking alcohol fumes SUCKS.

    Warning: Alcohol is FLAMMABLE. Don't be a tard and smoke while doing this as you may run the risk of setting yourself, others, or your house on fire. FIRE BAD.
  4. I wouldnt smoke in your dorm unless you have to. Roll something and walk outside and smoke it. Getting caught by an RA can be worse than cops when you're in college. Especially if your on scholarship like I am.

    Just be careful freshman year and then when you move out of the dorms you can blaze all you want

  5. yea, that's what i did. me and my crew would all mix rolling tobacco with cigs and just walk around smoking personal spliffs, so we just smelled like tobacco. however if you don't smoke tobacco I'm sure you wouldnt reek too bad from just going for a walk with a j then going inside.
  6. Oh yeah, if you can find a nice secluded area to smoke, then def do it outside.

    My campus had 800 people living on it and the RAs were just itching to bust someone. The campus was too small for "going for a walk wink wink" without high risk.
  7. When I read incense etc I was like here we go another dumb ass telling everyone to hide the fact that they smoke by lighting smelly shit. I actually clicked back.

    Later on I re-read and sick guide man.

  8. Haha thanks!

    Lighting incense to cover weed smoke to stay on the down-low seems to me like trying to hide that you're peeing in the pool by taking a dump in the pool.

  9. #9 TheKushLife, Aug 10, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2012
    I can't stress this enough, SMELLYPROOF brand baggies. They come in various sizes ranging from dime bags to quap bags.
  10. ADDITIONAL ADVICE - Which I just thought of while trying to fall asleep...

    Get to Know your RAs
    I know. Every kid in college instinctively hates their RA especially when said RA is a dick and is always trying to catch you smoking. When I was in college, everyone in my apartment seemed to know half the RAs on campus on friendly terms. They clued us in on what times they wen't on rounds, and which pair of RAs would be doing rounds near our apartment. If it was RAs we weren't cool with, they'd let us know and we'd hold off 15 minutes to smoke.

    My school had this thing about "regular" room searches/fire drills every semester. Basically, on a random night, a random section of student housing would be "chosen" for a fire drill. During said drill, everyone had to leave their rooms immediately and stand out in the quad until it was "safe." Of course, the RAs and campus police took this time to do a quick visual check of every single room that was evacuated.

    As you can imagine, lingering weed smoke or paraphernalia/pot laying out on your desk at such a time would be most woeful. Since my buddies and I were "in" with a few RAs, they would give us a heads up on room inspections/fire drills.

    I once had a close call - Fire drill in 15 minutes. I've never backed a bookbag so fast in my life!!

    Get to Know your Campus Police
    Believe it or not, on a college campus, many campus police don't really give a shit if you blaze up in your room. They got bigger things to worry about, like date rape, passed out binge drinkers, drunken vandals, and jocks beating the shit out of each other (at least on my campus). I even had campus police straight up say they couldn't care less and that they wouldn't bother doing the paperwork.

    I stayed during Spring break one year along with about a couple dozen other students who had nothing better to do. The cops were in the quad watching underage kids drink and everyone smoke pot. They knew it was happening. One of em just said that they'd rather the students do it that way where they could at least keep an eye on them and make sure they were OK than go off in small groups and do it where there's no one sober around to take care of them

    If you get to know them pretty well, even without blatantly asking their stance on the matter, you can better gauge their acceptance of smoking on campus. It also helps to get in with them so that you don't come off as one of many students who just walk around with that "I DARE YOU TO HASSLE ME, PIG" demeanor, which in the long run, could make you a "special" target of the campus police should they decide to screw around with students suspected of dealing/buying....
  11. you are asking to be expelled & kicked off campus.
    what sucks is when, not if, you get caught you have to pay for living on campus all year
    & you have to find a new place to live.

    not to mention all the other B/S they are going to make you do.

    just find some friends that live off campus to blaze up with like a responsible adult.

  12. Well, I suppose a responsible adult wouldn't be smoking on or off campus considering how getting busted off campus could still jeopardize their scholarships or even get them dismissed from college.

    I'm not saying these are fool-proof methods of smoking on campus, but I do know that these methods contributed to my being able to smoke, in my room, every day senior year.

    Sure, it also helped that I was know around campus as a "good egg" and positive person, so people didn't think of me in negative terms as "that pothead". If they did, I supposed I would have had more eyes on me to see and eventually catch.
  13. Nice guide, I may have to try the carbon sploof.
    However I do think that it is important that a person be very aware of the smoke alarms in their room before blazing. I know in my hall at least they are sensitive as fuck, as in they will go off if you spray too much air freshener. It is something you want to think about before blazing up in your room. Luckily this year my old roommate now has a house that I can blaze at now, won't be going to my car when its cold as fuck anymore. :smoke:
  14. Thank you!

    Oh yes, fire alarms can be a bitch! Luckily the ones in my dorm could just be taken off the wall and de-batteried. Even if they went off, they weren't connected to the main building alarm, so at worse, it would have just been annoying to hear.

    I don't know much about fire alarms, but I know when they do construction they put these plastic things around them to keep dust particles from setting them off. I assume you could just take a plastic bag and wrap it around the alarm and seal that shit around it with duct tape (if brick wall) or painters tape maybe otherwise.

    Unless it's one of those fancy ass alarms that can tell when the sensors are blocked. Then yer just screwed! Go find a nice spot in the woods and smoke a jay.
  15. what about vaporizers, dude? i'm sure it's much easier to be discreet with a vape (small one like underdog,solo,pax)
  16. I would imagine any of the methods where bongs/pipes are indicated, vapes would be that much better! I've never had a chance to smoke with one, so I am not familiar with their usage enough to comment on it. None of the folks I smoked with had vapes. Don't know if it was a matter of preference or an issue of cost or what.

    But definitely, thanks for that suggestion!

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