Crossed the line...

When some guy i know, Decides to rape a pregnant girl i know, And rape her brutally. Make her bleed and laugh and tell her guess shes not pregnant no more. Punch her in her stomache or atleast try to. And jus verbally/physically/mentally/sexually abuse a woman, Nonetheless a pregnant woman.

Think guy should be meetin the 6 point and then meetin 6 feet deep. 6 poppin 5 droppin, SWIM kill him and his homies.

Anyways.

Crunk as fuck.

I figured my homeboys daughter was born yesterday cuz he said it was gon to be and i didnt hear from him but i called him this mornin and he said shes jus goin into laber.

Few hours later he called me and said she had the kid like 5 minutes ago soundin all happy n shit. Now this guy is a 'thug' 'hardcore' 'gangster' 'drug dealer' type guy. And hes my closet homie, But jus to hear him so happy and jus high on life is amazing. I remeber how it was. It was 3 months ago today i felt the same feelings with my daughter being born.

Lifes a trip i tell ya.





Ive been hurtin, Feelin real down. Good guy i knew blew his head straight off yesterday. Rich, Nice family, Seemed happy jus he liked his drink. His drink covered up his depression and well, Ya know what happened.



But im drunk, Drank about a pint of whiskey in the last hour, Lil more, Lil over half a fifth.

Bout to down some more and keep drankin for awhile.

Been smokin for a couple hours. I stay high in the sky.

So much shit stressin me to hell jus wanna die. Swear to god i do. Fuckin jus feel overloaded. Yall have no clue.

Only reason i wake up is my girl, Shes the first thing i think about. I jus think fuck it i wanna drink some booze smoke a joint and go back to sleep within half hour of wakin up.

Then i think about her, And its like no, Get up, Do this do that ect ect and i get shit done.

But then when we have problems my life feels like its in shambles.

Dude who tryed to kill me a few months back gets out in lil under a month. We'll see what happens there. Also wants to kill my girl/daughter/folks. So that'll be fun once again. Been nice hes been locked away for 3 something months so no drama with him.

So whatever, I jus type cuz im drunk and im jus tryin to get my mind right. I said this is going to be my year. Shit happens all the time i say its my time to shine and i try and its like i have 1000 hours of work to do in every 24 hour day and i still need sleep aswell so im always draggin always behind always being pushed away by society.

Shit jus drives me crazy.

Im not givin up. This is my year.

By the end of the year ill have a license legittly, Payed off all court fee's i owe, Have a GED, Have a good legit job, And i want to be out on my own but im not positve on that. All the others im going to do it whatever it takes.

Enough shit. Im sure this goes every which way because righjt now i dont honestly remeeber anything ive wrote. Not even this now. I know im writing, But after i type i forget what i typed hahah. Im feelin crunk as hell.

Ready to show the world a mother fucker they aient never seen before. Aient no one out there like me.

 

Cakey, Its some shit on the downlow. I dont know who knows, But all i know who knows is 3 people. Dude i know who raped her, I know her, And i know i know.

I hate guy who raped her.

Fuck that fool, Hated him before i knew that, Hes a fool. No good for nuttin kinivin white trash peice of shit.



This is my year yall. Im out of school as of the end next week, A week from tommorow. So im done, Im studyin the books i got for the GED. Im ready for errthang but math, Get my math down i can pass it like nuttin.

Tryin to do evertyhing right. Doin some illegal shit to make money and to get high or whatveer. But im doin it the right way to not do it infront of my fam's or my own fam's and not be dumb with it.

Doin everything i can to do rght.

I might jus fuckin collapse one day because of over stressing. But i am trying to tackle almost everything at once and work at everything because i got a full day which is what, 16+ hours of day. You can get alot done in that if you do that for many days/weeks/months in a row. Get alot done.

My girl in college now, Shes gon make fat cash in a few years.

Im makin fat cash now, Jus not like how id like too, And cant get a place/car or anything because you need reciepts ect to prove where you get your money from.

So i need to get a legit job and make other money on the side.

Need a place with my girl.

She thinks i aient doin what i should.

Cuz she knows i smoke mad weed n shit.

Its part of the bussiness.

If you want to make money, You gotta hook ya people up and smoke down with em and chill with em and get to know em and then ya'll get real hooked up and its a regular homie ya talk to then not jus some stranger.

My girl trips some, But she knows we need the money and she accepts it, Which bothers me.

I dont like the idea of her accepting what i do because first off smoking weed is illegal. I want her to not want to smoke weed and if i smoke i want her to not want me to have it in the house n shit because of the kid. Shit stays in the car or something. Something pops off, Even though she knows, I go to jail and plead she knows nothing and she'll say she knows nothing. How shit goes. I love her to death and do anything for her.

But jus shit happens.

Life makes me wonder.

Homeboy i knew for year and years. His cousin was my bestfriend till he ended his life at 13. Long story, Real tragic shit for me.

He came over on x-mas and told us he smokes crack n shit now. Life goin down the drain.

Other homeboy of mine i aient seen in two weeks. Hes got a blow problem. But always blow/soft. He told me how he picked up a 20 of hard (4 rocks) and how its so great this and that.

Im like fool, Your dumb.

I dont even fuck with soft anymore.

Weed and liqour is my thing, And newports. Done even drink coffe.

Fuck dumb people.

Fuck life.

Im feelin trashed as fuck right now cant think.

Jus hit me, All the booze did.

Time to smoke...