OK, I'm not really new, but I never introduced myself. Opinions on me are welcome. I'm almost 40. I've got 2 kids still at home (16 yo M, 15 yo F). I've got another son that is 21, married and in the Marine Corp. I'm going to be a Grandpaw soon. Ouch! He grew up with his mother 1000 miles away. So he is not in the same loop as his 1/2 bro and sis. I have a small grow op. My kids know about it. They even help, and we spend quality time together working in our little basement garden. My 2 kids at home have never smoked weed. (21 yo has) They know more about mj than any of the other kids at their H.S. I asked that they wait until they are at least 17, and they come to me if they wish to try it. They respect my wishes. Plus they know that pops only messes with quality shit. This is my 1st grow so the 3 of us are learning together. I think it's cool, but a couple of my stoner friends think I'm an idiot for being open about smoking weed. They say that I should hide it from the kids like they do. These friends don't know I started growing. And they won't ever know. They openly drink in excess in front of their kids. I smoke in the privacy of my own room. I'm kind of conducting my own little experiment. This is what I've observed so far; Both my kids are on the honor roll. None of their kids are. My daughter had 1 run in with the police. (someone she was with shoplifted, she wasn't charged w/anything) Most of their kids have more than 1 chargeable offense. 1 kid has spent weekends in juvy. 1, who just turned 18, may be headed to prison. Involved in an accident, he was DUI, and somebody died. They are constantly angry at their kids for 1 thing or another. They flip out because they Discovered something bad that their kid does. I've never had to discover anything about my kids. I'll keep observing and comparing. I think that my children will be more successful in life than theirs.I have never brought any of my observations out to them yet. I figure that I will wait til both of my kids are in college. Then I'll show them the advantage of having an honest relationship with the children. Comments are welcome. I know I'll get a more positive response from this forum than I would from a parenting forum. I would prefer to hear from other people familiar with mj. Not some stay at home, soap opera watching, bob bon eating, fat bitch, that knows nothing about mj. Trust me, I went to a parenting forum and tried to discuss this. I was almost in fear for my life. Those people wanted to lynch my ass.
Wow, I think that's really nice. My parents used to hide it from me until I was about 15, and ever since then, there's been no damaging secrets from either one of us. I think it's a good bonding expierence, too. Apparently, my parents had been growing ever since... before I was born. They stopped, of course, but not until I was about 14. And I never knew it! Now I'm the one growing, and they've helped me out a lot! I think you're a wonderful parent! +rep
Thanks TNO. I can't wait. In about 3 years I will show the other parents my observation. I think that taking the mystery out of mj is what has kept my 2 at home from trying it.
Seriously, I mean, the whole point of things like AboveTheInfluence and a Partnership for a Drug Free America is to frighten you away from them. "DON'T DO IT! OR ELLLLLSSSSEEE...." It's like someone saying, "Don't think of your mother naked." But you do, simply because we're trying not to think about it. The fact that it's illegal often tempts people as well (I'm kinda 50/50 on the whole legalization issue). There's a sort of excitement in doing something you're not supposed to. It draws you in, as it were. Education is what we need. Not disinformation.
My dad was the exact same away. But one time i got curious ofcourse, and started smoking. I enjoyed it, but knew he wouldn't approve (Although i knew he smoked....) When he found out he acted real upset, but got over it quickly. I gues he realized how hypocritcal he was being
Your a great father. One thing that might go wrong for you in the future is that if your kids see that weed is made into such a big deal in school, and their own dad smokes and approves of it then they will think "well weed isn't a big deal then heavy drugs are probably made into a big deal for nothing to." You have to explain them everything... from propaganda to the truth of why MJ is illegal. Idk about the whole growing thing... that might be pushing it a little for their age.... But as far as you smoking, they will find out eventually, just like i did when i was 18. But all and all, you sound like what ever it is your doing your spending quality time with your kids, and being 100% honest with them. A good friend of mine has his father growing too and he knew since he was 16, he never sat and grew with him like you are but it was basically a you know, i know you know, we both shut our mouth about it. He is now attending Michigan state college, he is a great student, and a great person. All and all, what your doing obviously isn't very "traditional" but not really a bad thing. But its going to take a lot of talking to your kids and explaining to them what life is all about. And make sure they don't get the wrong idea about what you do.
The whole idea is such a great way to dismiss some of the over hyped fictions about bud. I myself used to belive some of them and after smoking for almost a year, and seeing how much closer I am to my friends and mainly my parents, I cant belive how nieve I was. so continue on with your experiment and hopefully when im older and have kids, I can try it with (hopefully) good results.
Which is why alcohol and cannabis should at the very least be scheduled the same! (Alcohol is much more damaging in my opinion, and should have stricter regulations than cannabis) Can you believe that the government still has cannabis and HEROIN scheduled equally and cocaine and meth are scheduled less?! It's great to see that there are parents who first and foremost respect their children and embraced the subsequent trust that stems from that relationship. Good for you for being real with your kids, sounds like they are growing up to be responsible, intelligent human beings. You should be very proud of them (and yourself).
GREAT parent. rather than keeping shit hidden and secretive, you're being open and honest about it. In my opinion, being honest with your children is the best thing you could do.. One of your sons is a Marine? Thats excellent, I hope you got a chance to go to his boot graduation and feel the sense of pride. shock-troop, devil dog, blood sucking war machine, ready to fight, ready to kill, ready to die.. BUT NEVER WILL
I am new and I havn't read everyones post. But I think what your doing is spot on. When I was in middle school my dad experimented with a grow op and he got me involved after a few weeks of it. We had some fun, but the bud didn't turn out that good. He openly smoked weed to counteract the medicine he WASN'T taking. But he would do it in his chill out room. Not just spark a bowl at the dinning room table. I think if you introduce your kids to it at the teenage years. Just about when they would be finding it on their own, you can save alot of trouble in the long run. They will have a more mature look at it, and respect it. Even to this day I dont find myself smoking in excess and I manage to say "no" im good and not take a hit. I dont think that would happen if I wasn't involved at an early age. good luck with all DD
Thanks to all. 5 2 1, I'm not worried about the harder drugs issue. I've done about every drug known to man that didn't require sticking a needle in my vein. Shrooms, Coke (lots of coke), acid, pcp, and I was given a line of heroin once. I was told it was Coke, it wasn't, and the next day, that asshole got a beatdown. I flushed probably 5 or 6 grams of the shit he had right in front of him as he lay bleeding. I'm not too violent of a person. I consider myself more protective. Fuck with my well being or my kids and not even God will save you. My kids know that they can come to me with anything. They know my past experiences, and they trust me to tell them the truth. If the mystery about a substance isn't there, then they are not curious about it. They have seen what harder drugs can do to a person, and we have had numerous discussions about it. They also know that I'm not a hypocrite, I won't punish them for experimenting. I think it's easier for them to just ask me about something, than to try it for themselves. I had a 5 year span, that I'm lucky to have survived. Definately lived on the edge. I should write a book, but that 5 years would take 2000 pages or more. The last 2 were the craziest by far. Seriously, I'm lucky to have survived. Again, thanks. Oh, and if you watch that Al Gore movie, Please watch Hemp Revolution. Maybe the truth is not so inconvenient. Watched it again with my kids over the weekend. It's amazing how parts of our country's history can just be deleted.
Sounds great man. I think your kids will be very strait, and down to earth people when they grow up. Just think how lucky you are for not dying from 5 years of hard drugs. If your kids would have seen that who knows... who knows. Hope you keep everything on track, and keep up the good bond you have with your children, and try to stay away from the heavy shit... not for you but for the sake of your kids. In the end i vote for "cool parent".
You're the kind of parent I hope to be when my son is older, and that's the best compliment I can give on this subject. Man, hiding it just gives your kids the message that there's something shameful in what you're doing. And there isn't.
Definately no hard drugs for me anymore. It's been over 10 years since I last did Coke. I was using 2 oz. a week. It was easy to do, too easy. I was getting it cheap from a Mexican friend in Chitown. For every oz. I bought, 1/2 to me, 1/2 to get my $ back. That went on for 2 years. I was pickin up 3-5 oz. per week. Big mistake, I learned how to cook the shit. One day I woke up, looked in the mirror. I looked like I had just had the shit kicked out of me. Blood pouring out my nose, eyes all black, I looked like I was dying. I think I really was. I flushed everything I had left. Maybe an oz. It didn't matter. I just sat and watched my kids playing (they were 4 & 5) and it gave me the strengh to never look back. Weed and the occasional shroom for me from that moment on. I've been to the edge, I've seen the bottom. Didn't like it, and I'm never going back. I feel that I am more educated on the subject than anybody, and I will make sure my Kids never have to go through that.
This may not get a good response, but Santa Clause, Easter bunny, etc. I told my kids the truth about that when they were 5. I discussed it with them and they understood. Were not dissappointed at all. They didn't tell their friends or cousins that they knew the truth either. Why should a kid think that a fat man in a suit is going to break in to our house 1 night a year and leave them presents. Truth is, if someones coming in the house in the middle of the night, they are getting shot. And yes, my kids know how to handle firearms. They were taught what they are capable of doing at a young age. Again, take away the curiousity, and you take away the danger. Most child mishaps w/guns happen because the child was curious. My son at 8, could break down my 9mm and 40 cal., clean it and put it back together like a pro.
My boyfriend and I have decided not to tell our son about Santa or any of that stuff at all. I'm going to be straight with him if he ever asks.