Convincing the wife

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by tcvsvfmc, Feb 27, 2015.

  1. Hi everyone. I need help convincing my wife to smoke with me or either to let me smoke. 
     
    Here's background: I'm 26, she's 31. We married about 1 year and a half ago, I didn't smoke back then and was always uptight. I have always drank socially, she knows that and has no restrictions towards that. 
     
    I began smoking about 1 year ago. Kept it a secret for about 6 months, but then decided to tell her because I couldn't bear to lie anymore. Smoking was losing its charm because I always felt I was doing something wrong. 
     
    So I told her. All of it. She took it badly and we nearly divorced, it was a matter of choosing the greens vs my wife. Back then, I thought: "I'll have my entire life to take back smoking, but I won't get a second chance with her if we split".  I remain married.
     
    However, what's been getting on my nerves is her inflexibility back then. Her inability to consider my experience and the judgmental view on it, regardless of whatever I'd say. 
     
    I feel that if she smokes, then she'll become much more light-hearted and serene, more tolerant and flexible in all aspects of life. I really feel she needs that. But she won't bulge. 
     
    I need help getting around this. I would love to pick it up again, but doing so secretly breaks half the fun. I need her to see things from my perspective, but I can't see how unless she smokes. 
     
    She says it's a pitiful basis to build a family upon. That she won't raise an addicted adult, an irresponsible man, and so and so. 
     
    Any comment is welcome, thanks for hearing. 

     
  2. Don't bother...Just don't get caught and continue. :cool:
     
  3. Have a date night, be a gentleman, be romantic, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, once home pop a bottle get her tipsy then hand her the joint lol
     
  4. Ask her how it would affect her or family in any way at all. Tell her you can't fucking become addicted to a non addictive substance. And tell her to learn the facts before she tries to change you. If you surrender then you might be more susceptible to giving in, in the future...aka being whipped. It's really weed or wife, but it's not just weed, it's the concept of the situation, you're an adult and mature, you should be able to make your own decision without being judged, especially over something as little and harmless as weed. Good luck, hope it works out - Ben :)
     
  5. I've given that some thought, but I think it's a hit or miss move. She might go for it and solve all problems, or it could wreck the night and god knows what else. 
     
    I assume you're a woman, am I right? I think you can see how it can go wrong, how do you picture it? Any chances on not ruining the relationship forever?
     
    I love her, but I just can't take her being so intolerant. I want to be happy with her, I mean, we're happy already, but there's this share of my life she just won't accept, it's so frustrating sometimes. 
     
  6. I know, I've had this conversation with some friends. It's tough. I should be able to make these choices, but there are so many things entangled together (our feelings toward each other, family, property, the marriage itself) that it's hard to see that I have an option. 
     
    It's also hard to give up on her for weed. Is it a plausible basis? I mean, she's a living being and we married for love. However, this conservative side of hers bites me. She can't understand I had a responsible good time and the much I changed for the good after smoking. 
     
  7. My husband and I have the same difference in years.   At one point when we first met, I was pretty damn against smoking, and he was smoking now and then, depending on supply, maybe  2-5 times a week. I felt it was a waste of money, waste of time, made him  lazy and unproductive.  2 years later, I grow my own, smoke almost daily, and I SEE the benefits and the miracles that this plant can bring!  
     
    Try to figure out why your wife is so against it. Maybe she had bad experiences, family members who fell into trouble because of it, feels like you're spending too much money, you're in the couch too much, lol  whatever it may be, you might be able to convince her.  Fact is, you're married, and you both have to compromise!! Make some cannabutter and treat her to some cannacoffee or some edibles this weekend  :smoking:
     
  8. Yes I'm a woman :) , also 26, my fiancé doesn't smoke but doesn't have a problem with me enjoying it, you're right, it can go wrong but shits already going south with her acting the way she is, let her know you will still be her husband and that you're being honest with her cause you love her, it's not like you're going out and getting trashed with a bunch of fools, tell her you're at home and you wanna relax and weed helps you with that, it's not right you that you probably feel like a teenager hiding from your parents...
     
  9. I just realized how nice and newbie-friendly Leafly's website was.  Show her this, http://www.leafly.com/start-exploring, she must have some kind of mood or medical issue that she needs to treat.  Who doesn't want to feel BETTER than they already do? She just might not know it yet.. 
     
  10.  
    I think it may be easier for her to accept your smoking if she's not also fighting off your attempts to get her to join. I'd suggest you stop pushing, and let things move naturally.  Let her know that you love and respect her (that's the reason you haven't smoked in 6 months), but that you feel you can responsibly smoke from time to time.  You can negotiate the where/when (i.e., not in the house, or not in your bedroom, or only on the weekends).  If she sees you smoking safely, just chilling, she may eventually come to the realization that it's not such a huge scary deal.
     
     
    ... or, you know, divorce you.  But if it's already to the point that you're considering trading her for the plant (and no judgment if so, I've fantasized about it myself!), then perhaps this is bigger than just the occasional j.  Either way, good luck!
     
  11. I felt like that when I smoked, it's been about 5 months since my last smoke. Nasty situation, took all the pleasure from it and made me feel guilty. I feel as if I'm pushing her limits and she won't accept it. I honestly pushed my limits when I first smoked. It was great.
     
     
    Thanks for your reply. Had you ever smoked before you married? How was the first time you smoked?
     
  12. I think that's a safer route, to get her used to it before trying it. How's your situation, are you in a relationship? How does she take it? 
     
  13. I'm married, and my wife doesn't know I've been seeing MJ on the side for the past couple of months (so feel free to ignore any communication advice I try to give!).  I'm mostly just using edibles for pain relief, though, and I'm a lot more lucid than I am when I'm using other (prescribed) heavy-duty pain killers, so I've been able to postpone the conversation.
     
    At this point I figure I've either got to get my MMJ card and have a serious conversation with my wife, or just give up the ganj again.
     
  14. The best thing to do is be honest with her. I would not try to push it on her like said above take her out and get her a little tipsy not drunk just tipsy. Now when you get her home show her this thread or tell her your true feelings. Now after you have the talk ask her if she would like to have a small taste so she could see what it is like if she says no give her a back rub so you might have a chance at getting laid that night.

    Oh you never know she might have been a total stoner in her past and hates it and blames it for the times she got high and would let the local sports team pull a train on her every weekend. You never know.

    Best of luck op.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  15. I could probably count on 2 (or 3) hands the times I had smoked prior to meeting my husband when I started smoking more! I was in my late 20s so you'd think that if I hadn't started by that time I never would, but I'm SO glad I experimented more.
     
    She doesn't have to partake, but at the very least, your wife should respect your choice to smoke.  She might not like it but we're all adults here, and unless your smoking creates an actual problem, she needs to have a seat and do some more research. 
     
  16. must be hell living in that household lol
     
    fo real doe, tell her DC just legalized, FRIGGIN DC LEGALIZED HERB, THE PLACE WITH THE WHITE HOUSE
     
    if she drinks, I would start pulling the guilt trip on her when she is knocking em back...guilt trip is powerful bruh, as you should know because shes putting you thru that shit
     
    as a conservative with libertarian views, I hope for your sake she is not a conservative and or religious
     
    woman+conservative views+religious= her current beliefs against the herb
     
    idk if shes not, she may just be completely blinded by propaganda, if she is blinded, use this Ronald regan line "the 9 worst words in the human language...hello, im from the government and im here to help." and it the herb is federally illegal
     
    at this point im ramblin', lol good luck op
     
  17. You done married a prohibitionist.

    I recommend you:

    1) Debate her about cannabis being safer than alcohol (alcohol kills 40,000 every year).

    2) Tell her weed improves sex.

    3) If those fail, smoke on the down low. She can't watch you all the time. Use your ninja skills.

    If she wants to be blind, keep her blind.
     
  18. At least you had some prior exposure to it, you had an idea of what it meant. My wife, as far as I know, has never had any contact with it. She says a friend at college used to smoke and was known to be a lazy nobody, her sister once dated someone who smoked and things didn't turn out nicely, that's all I know. 
     
     
    That's some leverage, people are waking up to it, hope she does too. 
     
    I think that's what I'll do. But first I'll convince her to tolerate my smoking. Then we'll see what happens. 
     
     
    I'm a physician, I know how pain can be debilitating and also how mj can modulate it so that it becomes bearable. I'm happy it works for you, hope you can work it out too. Despite the physical pain, I think you're on better grounds with your wife than me. 
     
     
    We'll talk tonight and I'll keep this updated. 
     
  19. tell her what she can and cant do. After she gets offended, slide her into the sudden realization of how she restricts your freedom and life choices.
     
  20. I'm a firm believer in trying things at least once (within reason).  If she hasn't even tried it or done her research, what is she basing her negativity on really?   
     
    For me, it was much much easier to accept and understand the use of cannabis in a place (CO) where it's absolutely legal and not so damn stigmatized.  The whole world will figure it out.. in due time  lol
     

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