i dont know where this belongs but ya if it needs to be moved somewhere than i apologize. but yea im like pretty high so if this shits too wierd or deep then its coo u dont gotta read it. Anyways. the purpose of this thread is that im talkign to the me that I would of been if i didnt make so many mistakes in life. My daily routine: work, get high, get drunk, repeat. and im cool as fuck wit this routine my other self wouldnt like the shit im doin. shit maybe im schizophrenic? no i htink this is just really good weed. hahahhahahaha
i get what you're saying. i got what your saying before i even came into this thread. the younger me is often telling the older me things, and the older mes yet formed are often telling me things. the present me is often telling both the younger me and the future me's things too. time is ilusory. all the times i didn't listen due to fear or doubt or some other useless thing that just got in the way, all serve to remind me to listen to myself. edit- http://forum.grasscity.com/showthread.php?t=104171 may be of interest.
now that im not all fucked up anymore i could continue my thread. the me today is confused. the me today doesnt know who he became. he doesnt know who he is. he doesnt know why he does what he does. my inner child fuckin hates me. because if I wouldve taken the safe route, i wouldve gotten a scholarship no question. I would be a computer engineer or somethihng along those lines. and i would have my shit straight. but its like. im stuck in this daze, were all I wanna fuckin do is work, get stoned and repeat. i dont stop at gettin blazed i drink and pop pills if i could get my hands on them. but i mean life just isnt what it seems. when i was a kid i had so many dreams of what i was going to become. and lemme tell you, what i am today is NOT what i dreamed to be. But im not saying im a failure. thats not what im saying. I just didnt turn into what i thought i was going to be. guess im just a product of my environment.
when did i say im not fine with this routine? infact i think i said i enjoy it very much. but i dont enjoy the idea that i'll be smoking for the rest of my life. i dont know.
Yeah man, I know how it is. I think about all the time how my child me would be ashamed of myself, doing weed and coke, trying crack and oxys. I got a 1360 on the old SAT's. Brown and Duke and NYU started sedning me tons of stuff, b/c all they had seen was my SAT grades not my coarse grades. But the truth is I was failing math most through high school, borderline failing my science classes, and my other grades were never consistant. I ended up going to community college, when I could have done so much better. I never tried, I just took the easy/fun road, and now I have to hear my inner child complain about it.
this is kinda depressing, but getting it out in the open... i dropped outa school, well more like the school dropped out of me. but the fact of the matter is, im very intellegent, youd never notice just by looking, or having an intellectual conversation, that i have dropped school. it was the biggest mistake of my life, but what you have to think, is... how can i make this better, dont focus too much on the past, it gets ya depresseed with the shouldve dones'. but what can you do directly to help feel better? you must ask yourself, im guessing, a tiny cut back from the alcohol, and smoking less will probably help you out. dont give into a certain voice in your head, try and make all 3 somewhat happy. i hope you understand bro. i try and help to the best of my ability.
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=1898029430122837467&q=time+travel on topic comic relief for this thread.