Everyone wants a bit of power, the less you have the more you usually want. People seem to get themselves into a position where they feel they can wield it - even the parking attendant sitting in his booth feels he has some. We all seem to have some, depending on what we do, which can be used to help others or make ourselves feel powerful and try to obtain a little more. Each person holds the key to things flowing or not at different times - you can make it flow smoothly or cause a hold up as you extract every bit of control that you can. Can you surrender this power, this control, for the good of others, or must you always feel you need to have it, want it, use it, in order to stop others controlling you?
i could not care less about controlling others.... but it is nice when i actually have a bit of control over myself having had those times when i was not only not the one in control but not even aware of what "i" was doing at all.........does give me an interesting perspective i know that at any time whatsoever..... i could completely lose control of myself with no warning whatsoever so all this does give me reason to enjoy when i do have control of myself
Do you live with any fear of this happening on a daily basis, or do you just get on with it, and only deal with it once you discover you've lost it again? When was the last time you felt you were out of control since coming off the meds?
no ...i do not carry any fear of it with me...it comes to mind often....i think about it often ...but i am not afraid of it i just deal with it when i wake up .... and hope there is someone i can trust to tell me what happened since being off the meds..... once in the middle of the day at the jew camp when the jews were there.... i had woken up with part of my tongue missing that am and went to work anyway... they tell me that i walked out of a building and just fell..... they had there ambulance come.... and i did not fight anyone at all.... no one was hurt this made me feel better than i know how to describe i dont remember anything about that day....except talking to the chef....about biting my tongue another time i was blowing leaves and the boss guy found me wondering lost with the blower...said he asked me what i was doing ...and i told him i was looking for where i left off..... he said he showed me it was right next to me where i had left off and i went right back to work....i do not remember that day at all...i do not remember being there that day at all..... i just ride it out...... according to things i wrote down for myself ...clues i left there was at least three times in 4 week oct-nov that i woke up in am with part of my tongue missing..... it happens when it happens.... i have no control over it i know when i am not sleeping good it when it is most likely to happen.... when i am pushing myself too hard for too long is when it is likely to happen i avoid other things i know may cause it yet sometimes i push it on purpose..... sometimes i try and walk the line between here and there..... see how far i can go without losing it sometimes i cant help it because i dont want to [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPFMTDufV_o]Down - Losing All (NOLA) - YouTube[/ame]
dingus, would it be fair to say the even the clues are in question? Ive watched memento & of all the people surrounding the life of the character he cannot trust anything but those notes he leaves written on himself but he lost all short-term memory and its an new world everyday. So, is there a moment you ask yourself where you last left off?
i have to question it all....all the time.... So far the biggest gap would be when i woke up and my hair was an inch longer then i remember it being when i went to bed...lost 6months that time.... I trust the clues i leave for myself when i can tell they were left by me.... I never saw momento other then the trailer ...at least not that i can remember.....
Wow, Id feel bamboozled out of that time lost. I'd prefer you get a chance to watch before i spoil it. It's a trip how the movie plays out in terms of how they shot it. I might've guided the discussion somewhere else, my apologizes. Not the first time you've said i found something interesting. One way or another we've all got peculiar perspectives but you're of a different kind
I like having control over my own actions and not having others judging me affect what I do, and how I act. I give up control of other people for their own good, and mine. Brings nothing but stress, and it makes myself and others happy. I do what I do for the good of others and myself. Works perfectly, yes?