First of all, you targeting my character and integrity as though you know something about what I'm saying moreso than i know of than myself, shows to me that your want for pride is the same as you not knowing what you are asking for! Knowledge is power, power corrupts. If you want power, attain knowledge, but that is always backwards because you say you want to not be depressed anymore. You want pride. Pride is simple, know something worthwhile and that is well versed and practiced, and when you recognize that you have attained power that no one else has, you will be proud. There is a saying, "The more you know the more you suffer." Go ahead, be proud. But what I'm saying, is that if you had any internal power, since pride and knowledge is external power, you'd be able to thrive through providing mercy instead of justice and self-righteousness. Let me quote you this one, "When the power of love, overcomes the love for power, the world will know peace." It's not so much as an empty saying. You cannot love, what you cannot understand. To choose to understand, and to love, is to choose living over knowing. Knowing something breeds pride and power, knowing nothing as well as understanding and loving, breeds life and peace. So would you by any means necessary choose power, knowledge, and pride, over mercy, life, and peace? Humanity is a walking contradiction, we're all hypocrites in one way or another, we all contradict ourselves in some way. But as i said before, we have to fight regardless. And I am not by any means, as you have said, zero pride, and unmotivated. I've been there, i've done that, i've learned the consequences of pride, and have learned how to pick my battles. Motivation requires you to want something. Let me tell you this much, there is a difference between wants and needs. Look deeper into yourself, and ask yourself, do you really want to want? Isn't what we want always have lent a hand toward humanities doom? It's impossible to save humanity, all I said was, that if humanity were able to be saved, it would be through the path of mercy. Mercy, takes, internal, power. Need I spell it out? It's easier to judge, than to perceive. We're all capable of pride, but it's a rock, paper, scissors battle. Since it's a dog eat dog world, there's always someone out there who's going to be stronger than you in that sense. So why bother playing the game of dominance through how proud you are. It's not so phony once you get the sense of what is really going on, the intrinsic value and metaphysics of it all. I say this, I know nothing. Humanity's nature fears what it does not know. Yet if I know nothing and fear nothing, have I not transcended my own nature? And transcendence itself is the most powerful attainment of internal strength possible. Good luck to you, and I hope your proud of yourself.
Been there done that as they say many times in life and i'm old now, retired years ago... i won't use the term god as it is used too often in illusionary ways and abused more than the F word, but nothing wrong with reaching out to "creative intelligence" that keeps the planets and stars doing their thing as well as ants, nats, bees and trees"... YOU TOO are LIFE and part of the field totality of energy and without you being an integral part, it would implode... don't buy the negative programming from your dad or compare yourself to this insane society we try to "adjust" to... to be well adjusted often means one is a puppet to the propaganda of ignorance... The times I've found myself at a crossroads seeking direction I've felt helped by some guides such as Alan Watts but there are many others... here is a video i'm watching now and posted it earlier today in an old Alan Watts thread i found... many others on YT as well.. but one thing that helps is to know that it takes some aligning yourself with the rhythm of the universe and your "right place of employment" will be drawn to you as well as you to it... repeat repeat repeat...
Alcohol is a tough one, I quit 11 years ago and went from the life of the party to a reclusive old grouch. CBD burner got it right, take a trip to the woods and smoke Indica. I grew some sativas, they just make me anxious and I think way too much. No more of those for me. You need something to occupy your mind. I got into photography and growing, they both help a lot. Lots of new stuff to learn and get all OCD on.
Yes alcohol is classed as a depressant as i recall. Kudos for stopping out all together... Also for the thread topic, depression is often defined as "anger turned inward", can be poor self image formed by believing all the negativity from family or others going way back from age 2... also society programs us to compare ourselves to others... all the way through school we are rated from A plus to F yet you can have straight A's and be depressed. ACIM (google it) states that depression is a sign of being "diss-spirited" in other words relating to the body/mind/ego identification instead of the eternal soul and omnipresent Being (Pure Awareness) that we are... The True Self is the Witness to the actor on the stage playing out various roles... we get lost in roles, tire of them or hate them after a time... that too can cause depression. Anything other than Self Actualization of The True Self will in the end lose it's luster as just another trinket, trophy or item scratched off the bucket list. All situations and forms are temporary. The Self or Being is Eternal, always was without beginning or end. We Realize that then and only then are we Free. Human beings are always involved in human becoming activities and rarely just Being... We are BEINGS having a human experience as part of evolution or growth in Spirit to higher levels, so say many teachings and sages for thousands of years.
Yes still no drinking if I do it’s a beer with supper.. although I should just cut the bad fruit right off. It’s just poison. Yah I need some hobbies I need a new job all I do is work all day walk the dogs go to bed.. havnt had any time to myself
That was a really good read and you are right a lot of it is self hatred toward myself from past and only decisions of the now.. it’s so hard to actually apply any of it though survival is number one and right now that means working shit tons of hours an never having time to myself to think. My FAVOURITE PART of the day is showering, smoke a joint on the toilet listening to loud music draining out my thoughts, and shower and smoke another joint listening to loud music and sitting on the jon lol. Or walking home, I think a lot of it is I’m A doing nothing that I’m actually proud of it not using my potential is bored and I am under stimulated. / I am working insane hours doing and cooking things I have zero pride for.. and never have time to myself.. and always been hugely a loner dealing and socializing with people wears me out to no end. A great vacation for me would be sitting by myself listening to music and having some cocktails lol. Great read I think I’ll try to make time to read that book you reccomend.
Didn't know i "recommended" a book but ACIM is 3 books.... the workbook with daily lessons is online for free without even so much as a sign in, it is just there for anyone.. nobody sends you anything.. unlike some church or self help thing... the lessons you can read or listen by audio or both at same time... the actual Text is on Youtube but it is in 2 videos that run maybe 20 plus hours... haven't found it in print on the net... Been in your shoes decades ago with trying to make ends meet with jobs i didn't like and without a "gainful" wage, barely survival... the beating yourself up over the situation only reinforces it... how i got out was an affirmation i used many times daily... i carried it around in my wallet to refer to during the day, at a break, in the John, etc... also had it taped on the inside of a kitchen cabinet so as to see each time i opened it... it goes something like this... "I AM guided to my right place of employment where I serve willingly, happily and am prospered successfully engaged in the right activity." Any affirmation needs to be in the PRESENT tense, not future so when you know that you are being guided NOW the whole universe also knows and opportunities are drawn to you... after awhile you will notice ideas or see something on the net, in a paper, heard in conversation, etc. Eventually a long time friend helped me get a job i held for 20 years and retired from but prior to that i was using the affirmation and moving from better job to better job, making progress... The inner dialogue or self talk is only the mind, the ego side of it as well. Become the witness to your thoughts as that is who you are anyway. Be vigilant with your thoughts and catch yourself then thank Awareness, your Right Mind, True Self Spirit or however you can relate for bringing it to your attention... This puts you back in the NOW... Also thoughts are always past or future dwelling that will trigger emotions but... EMOTION is always in the NOW regardless of what inspired it... Trust the emotion, get into it and let it out but also Realize what inspired it and if it is not a loving one but based on fear instead, then make a note to come back to Now every time you think those past/future chatterings... it's a matter of training the mind to think right minded, not insanely as fear thoughts or by products like greed, envy, guilt, etc. are insane to varying degrees that they control moods or feelings. Also your dogs are in the NOW all the time.. much to be learned from animals and nature, walking is great, bicycling great as well.
I've been watching videos by this Burt Harding for a few days, mostly interested in his awakening after a near death experience in 2000. Since then he has been speaking on Non-Duality and spiritual awakening, living in the True Self as Being or Awareness, some call it Cosmic Consciousness... at any rate, it is much more expanded and fulfilling than the narrow contracted awareness of the little egoic conceptual "me" or i (small i). So i did a little search among his pages of videos and found a couple you may find interesting or helpful... they are short. He is old with a bit of an accent but you can use CC and or speed it up if understanding is no problem. and another...
Glad you liked them... i was watching Burts videos on many subjects for a few days then he mentioned Lester Levenson and referred to him as a True Master... i wasn't aware of Levenson so checked out some of his videos.. i will say that his talks are dynamite and i've watched a good number of the self help guru types over decades... Lester is the Real Deal (not that Burt isn't) and brought everything home (it clicked)... i've been on a high and feeling centered and grounded since the 1st video or 2 by Levenson... Apparently he was a physicist born in 1909 and in 1952 when he was only 42 had 2 serious heart attaches... the doctors sent him home to die basically said he wouldn't last long... back then they didn't have such skilled by pass surgeries like now... Long story short is that by self study of Reality and drilling down beneath the ego he discovered his True Self and lived till 1994 dying in is 80's... he also became a billionaire but not from charging for the talks you can find on youtube... he got into some big real estate developing deals... he says that once you align yourself your True Self not the ego conceptual image made from thoughts, judgements and comparisons, the universe responds to your desires and wishes... reason is HARMONY resonating with the Force or Totality of Life... So your thoughts are no longer ego survival based and you have far fewer rapid fire thoughts, the fewer ones you have are more powerful and life supporting for everyone and the planet... so by the time they arise the universe is just waiting to assist and before you know it the thought seeds reach fruition... The link below is to one of a few channels with good videos... they are all audio only but have CC and it helps to read... although CC will screw up a word now and then... Like when Lester uses the word Self the CC was showing "cell"... so once you figure that out it's easy. lol These are short videos, i bet if you watch a few things will open up... clouds will lift in your mind... usually when we get in a rut or funk about jobs and direction it is just running out of the ego survival ideas anyway... not the way to live... often a bit of input from an outside source can really clear the way... All the best! FromLesterLevenson
Been a while. What your saying and what I watched it really helped me quite a lot. Plan on watching last videos you sent me here right away look forward to it!!! Thank you a lot I really was at the point of break these speeches and your narration of them really helped me through this mess Iv been in. Thanks man
These quotes from a "Realized" Being are dynamite but may be too strong for some pushing them over the edge so ponder at your own risk... best to pause and grasp what he is saying... he speaks from the Absolute which is pure unmanifest Awareness before the "I AM"... it takes an "i" or "I" to have "consciousness" of a separate individual or "life" apart from the whole of the Absolute (God if you will or if you won't). 4 yrs ago i watched some of his satsangs, gatherings answering questions from Westerners and liked it but wasn't close to ready to accept it... what drives us to "look within" and become serious seekers of who we really are apart from the concepts of i, me, mine, is "suffering" and "misery", pain is a great motivator of change and giving up chasing temporary fixes.... "looking for love or happiness in all the wrong places, people, things, jobs, etc."... So just watch a few of these as time allows, mark where you left off and it should help you see your drama from a more removed space... our True Self is "behind the mind" and is the Witness to thoughts and emotions, feelings, etc.... Keep asking "who am I" and after you eliminated everything you are not, you will be very close to Being-ness but even that can be dropped eventually, then you are One with The One watching the drama of life yet One with all that is... (so the teaching goes, i don't claim to be there but at times have tastes of it)
also for a loosening of the mind and the me, me, me swelling of the head (why shrinks are called shrinks)... some fun animal humor videos are nice... this one and the next after it in the topic are great... but not permanent fixes mind you as they merely distract us from the source of the problem... source of the problem is the ego or i, me, mine sense of separation from the field or whole... that and falsely identifying with the mind/body which is the ego ID... A Thread to Cure Your Depression.
Hey, friend... GS, I'm not sure if this has already been mentioned, but I know something that is sure to lift your spirits - and those of others! Volunteer. The elderly, the terminally ill, the battered, the disabled - those less fortunate than yourself. Take the time and do it. Don't think about it, do it. Ask your local religious leader, police captain or hospital on how best to identify those who suffer from situations out of their control and ask what you can do to help. Sounds simplistic, but you will have guaranteed positive results. Guaranteed If you feel uncomfortable around people who are suffering then volunteer with a group that improves peoples lives in other ways. Helping the environment for example. Yes, join a group that cleans up trash in your community. You will undoubtedly help yourself while you help others as it is impossible to dwell on your weaknesses as you help lift the spirits and lives of those less fortunate. You're able to read, you can type, you can grow, you can see a sunrise, you can walk, you can breath and you certainly can cook! Those less fortunate cannot do many of the wonderful things you are easily able to do. As my computer friend, promise me to do this. Best way is to get dressed, grab a bottle of water, throw a sandwich in a bag and bolt out the door to your new adventure.