contacting the ex/please help me get my head on straight

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by cheeerios, Nov 8, 2013.

  1. #1 cheeerios, Nov 8, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 8, 2013
    It's been two months and I'm still driving myself crazy sitting and wishing I could just fucking talk to him :(
    Everything was all good until I overreacted about him skipping plans we had because he needed to sleep. I wanted to talk about it but he didn't because he was already in a bad mood, and especially didn't want to talk about it over phone/text. But I kept pushing it and texted him what I wanted to say (which was a long text about me being frustrated about him skipping our date and not talking about it, and he said he had a bunch of shit going on which made me worried and want to fix it or at least be able to be there for him but he wouldn't let me). So when we finally talked in person he was fed up with me and said we should break up, and that he'd been thinking about it a bit anyway because he was going to be really busy the next few months, so I guess I just pushed it over the edge, because until then he would say things like "oh I'm so excited to see you tomorrow" and such, so I don't think he would've ended it if we had just been chill about everything. 
    We stayed semi friendly at first.. would send snapchats and like each others instagram pictures and dumb shit like that. But he sent me a couple that were clearly from when he was driving (a friend's brother just died texting and driving so it's a sensitive issue for me), so I texted him saying I'd rather not get the driving ones, and he didn't reply, which I figured would happen.
    Then about a week later I was having a really tough time. I've been dealing with mental health issues throughout the time I was seeing him (and before of course) and was very open about it all, and he was really supportive and when we broke up he was all "you're an amazing girl, and I want you to know that this isn't goodbye, I still want to be able to be there for you if you need something, blablabla". So when I needed someone I texted him saying I needed to talk to someone if he could chat soon, and to just tell me if he didn't actually mean what he said about being friends. No reply, and I haven't contacted him since then and he hasn't contacted me either.
    I'm mad that he couldn't even reply to say no about that. I'm mad he'd say he's there for me if he's not. But I'm mostly mad at myself for overreacting and fucking up something that could've been fixable, and I'm mad that I still care so fucking much. We didn't even date that long, but I wake up thinking about it, go to bed thinking about it, etc. I just feel like one of the crazy girls I never wanted to be and I want him back so bad :(
    I just straight up can't stand this unresolved feeling any longer, and this feeling of resent towards someone who crafted all my favorite summertime memories, and who treated me SO well while we were together. I just feel stuck and wish it could at least not just be left on me being the desperate girl needing to talk, who he didn't want to deal with.

  2. Move. On.
  3. I've been doing my best, really. If you've got any pointers that'd be more helpful.
  4. Sounds like hes selfish as fuck ..
    Move on  :hello: you'll enjoy it , I promise 
  5. #5 Z42OM, Nov 8, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 8, 2013
    Sounds like hes selfish as fuck ..
    \nMove on   :hello: you'll enjoy it , I promise

  6. pointers? you're living this life, not me, only you know how to move on.
    I don't though clearly
  8.  I just feel like one of the crazy girls I never wanted to be and I want him back so bad
    ^^ Give it time, learn to love yourself again, first. :smoke:
  9. Girl don't worry yourself over someone who didn't even care enough to reach out to you when you needed it. Sometimes the best way to move on is to see the situation clearly, it hurts so much more to keep rehashing old memories and analyzing things. As badly as it sucks that things could have ended over something so small the fact that he did in fact end it shows how careless he is. Moving on is hard but if he already has it's only going to hurt you not to.

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  10. Well I hope you figure out something, I know people that are still ruled by thoughts of their ex's, it's no way to live. To talk a big game of 'I don't need them', and then when they call, revert back to 'I misssss you'.
  11. Would it be a terrible move to message him this? I think it might make me feel better.. a last attempt at closure? At least if he doesn't reply I know I gave it a shot and for sure he just wants nothing to do with me. Which you'd think I could decipher from the lack of response when I needed someone, but that was just a couple weeks after we broke up. Now it's been over a month since any contact at all, and around 2mo since the breakup, so maybe it's been enough time for this to be an alright thing, without it being so long since contact that it's way too random and makes me look like I don't have anything else going on.
    "Hey, I don't mean for this to be annoying and I'm not doing this looking for a second shot. I just don't want you to remember me as someone who turned out to be just another clingy girl, cause that's not who I am and I hate that that's likely what you see me as at this point. I want to apologize for how things ended. We had so many silly times over the summer, like the __ incident, and it was nice to have someone who seemed to get me. I just never imagined it to end so abruptly over such unnecessary shit. I shouldn't have pushed you to talk when it was bad timing, and I wish I had just chilled and let it be before overreacting. But I was in a bad place and wasn't thinking straight. I'm still working hard on all the anxiety stuff and things are looking up, and I hope you're doing well with all the changes and shit you had going on as well."
  12. Sometimes the best thing to do is to ignore them for awhile, make it seem like you don't need him, like your having a good time without him, whether it be insta pics or twatter,
    Just enjoy yourself, if it's meant to be he'll realize it. If not then theres not much you can do :/
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  13. I had a similar situation with my ex abruptly ending things and not talking to me and I seriously know how you are feeling I went thru hell and my anxiety made me react way worse than I should have so my best advice from experience is to NOT contact him to apologize or anything like that just don't contact him at all .you have nothing to really be sorry for anyway. Ignore him like he's ignoring you work on your self and your anxiety and being a better you. Seriously chica i know how bad you want to but it's not going to help the situation. A quote that had alway stuck with me is something like this " if you love someone let them go, if they come back to you you were always theirs of try don't they never were" . Let him see you've moved on and are happy that's when he'll start realizing what he missed and want you back (happened with me)

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  14. If* they* i suck at typing

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