Do you ever feel it is impossible to communicate with the people directly around you? Communication seems to be the only worthwhile thing that two people could hope to engage in, but it's so confusing and impossible to know whats being communicated when your stuck inside yourself. So what do you think about communication? What's the most effective mode for expression? For connecting with the other? How much of communication is verbal, body language, and beyond that even (telepathy, eye contact)? Is more communicated on a subconscious level than on a conscious level? Is there even anything worth saying? Or is another persons presence enough? I feel that sometimes we're just talking to make noise so often that i want to not engage in conversation with people. Am i alone in this?
I feel communication can be a really healthy thing... but it depends who we're communicating with. Some peoples personality's just don't click well with others, and it rubs off on the other and creates an odd "mood" or disconnection.. Between verbal and body language, I think this too depends on the personality.. Some one who you wouldn't consider social probably has a much stronger sense for body language, or even personality vibes, compared to someone who is constantly vocalising and so they are stuck in their own thoughts and not focused on the connection with others. Eye contact has an amazing strength for my subconscious to really take into account what's being said, and so I think it helps me with memory of the situation, as well as just fully grasping the concept being portrayed. It really helps sense that connection between bodies that are communicating, and I think that's why online forums are sometimes harder to fully understand someones idea. Communication with someone physically in front of me seems to help my mind pay more attention and fully interpret the concepts. [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs0GvGnKJ9U]Schism by Tool w/ lyrics - YouTube[/ame]
As overplayed as that song is... i cannot deny that it is just realllly good. Nice post though. Yeah communication goes beyond words if you ask me. I also feel that so much communication is strangled by self consciousness. Feelings of not being smart enough, or not being attractive to another person, or just fear of judgment in general get in the way of openness. That is one advantage of the Internet though. Here we are all just fingers on a keyboard caught up in the same mystery trying to make sense of our situation so that we can communicate it. What is the most worthwhile thing two people could ever hope to communicate to each other? It seems confusing but for me the answer is simple and its just love and acceptance. Nothing gives someone the energy and inspiration to keep going towards the light than that right there. Simple and to the point, but it can change someones life.
I agree man! I think the most important thing communication brings is connection, and love is the flower that blossoms from this seed of connection. It's a shame that words inevitably brought disconnection as well though.. it seems our need to define has inherently split our world into categories and categories make connections much more distanced. It's funny because we visualize things constantly but instead of embracing an objects natural unique figure, we label it in our minds as "oh that's just a cup" or "that's just a pen".
Well there is communication and then there is effective communication. Personally I like my intercourse to be effective.
The thing that has always struck me as the most fucked-up part of communication is the way in which it can often seem harder and harder to communicate with someone the more you're around them. This can spell disaster for any close relationship, until you either spend some time apart or fight and sorta "refresh" your relationship by stepping outside of it for a second. So much gets taken for granted the longer you spend with someone, sometimes it's like you don't even know what ought to be said any more so you just remain quiet or make small-talk. How does one avoid this fate?
hmm I don't know. I think the more time you spend with someone, the more you can talk about. Obviously, there are exceptions. What happen is that people get comfortable with each other and words are not necessary. Silence is louder than words.
This is a good question.. I'm not really sure, but I know exactly what your saying.. I think it's just that part of our minds that hate repetitiveness so sometimes we want change when we're suffocated by one person for too long. I'm not really sure though. It's weird because we all have those friends or family or girlfriend/boyfriend that we enjoy conversating with, but it's like it's magnets that attract to each other but when the force is so strong, they clash and butt heads? Humans are weird.. lol. We're never satisfied. I guess the phrase "everything in moderation" even applies to communication?
The thing I find hardest to overcome is overcoming the proverbial "breaking of the ice". What helps me most is treating everyone the same. By this I mean, don't think of the new acquaintance as someone who's judging everything you do. Treat them like they are your best friend and it makes communication easier. This is what I found to make things easier for me as I am not the most social person.
I too have problems with this. It's the hardest thing actually i think. Self-conciousness is my problem, i tend to think people have already looked me up and down andd judged me before i even speak.
I think moderation is the key and find myself spacing out conversations better like if I know I'm going to hang out with someone later I'll avoid talking to them or using my main topics too soon..I was in a 6yr relationship and it does get boring but I dont seem to have a problem with just bullshitting about whatever and cracking jokes about it..a sense of humor is key I think to turning boring things fun and interesting
Right, there's that sort of "comfortable silence" but what happens when you really want to have a deep and insightful conversation with someone? Comfortable silence does not afford that, and it can be really hard to re-gain that connection with someone you're around all the time. Or maybe it's just me (and DBV lol.)