Coming out as An Atheist to my Parents

Discussion in 'Religion, Beliefs and Spirituality' started by Cudderisback, Nov 4, 2011.

  1. Hi guys,

    Well I'm in a bit of a predicament..

    I was raised for the first 18 years of my life as a Christian. I went to church every Sunday, even went to Christian elementary school, middle school, and highschool, but that didn't stop me from thinking for myself.. And no, I'm never going to be a Christian again. I'm done with religion. My only regret was that it took me this long. Religion fucked my childhood up and my ability to see objectively..

    I've been an atheist for about a half a year now and my parents still don't know, and I was wondering what the best way to tell them would be.
    My father is a theistic evolutionist and I think he will respond the most appropriately, but my mother is a conservative fundamentalist christian and she often ignores logic.

    So how should I go about this?

    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. Rofl it's not like your telling them your gay or knocked up a girl ... Be your own person
     
  3. Actually yes it kind of is.

    I don't think you realize the implications that being an Atheist has to Christian parents.

    One of myy best friends recently came out as an Atheist and his parents almost disown him and disregardeverything he says as him being mislead by Satan..
    He eventually got kicked out the house for it.

    Be my own person? That's exactly what this fucking thread is about.. Me thinking for myself. Clearly you don't have the critical thinking capacity to put yourself in someone else's position, much less have the empathy to even consider someone else's perspective.
     
  4. Your parents are nazis , fuck em , beliefs isn't something somebody tells you , as an ex Christian one of our main teachings was to respect others beliefs and religions , it's actually in the bible I think , no offense to you or anything sorry if I sounded harsh your parents just need to realize it's not 1930 and the community won't alienate them because they didn't see there son at church on Sunday
     
  5. Tell them that you listened to jesus and turned you're other cheek..................and mooned someone with both sides of your ass
     
  6. I would keep the family bond just in the case they were to over - react like your friends parent did i would keep try the family intact and not allow for that possibility you know?

    ..just lay low about this, something like that can be kept to yourself out of love for them but if you feel like you wanna that is ultimately your choice bro good luck.
     
  7. Jesus saves I steal! Jk lol
     
  8. [quote name='"Cudderisback"']

    Actually yes it kind of is.

    I don't think you realize the implications that being an Atheist has to Christian parents.

    One of myy best friends recently came out as an Atheist and his parents almost disown him and disregardeverything he says as him being mislead by Satan..
    He eventually got kicked out the house for it.

    Be my own person? That's exactly what this fucking thread is about.. Me thinking for myself. Clearly you don't have the critical thinking capacity to put yourself in someone else's position, much less have the empathy to even consider someone else's perspective.[/quote]

    Lol i never read the whole long ass post till now , chill man I was being a smart ass .
     
  9. #9 flapflip, Nov 4, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 4, 2011
    Tell them you're an atheist lol. Its not that hard, and I doubt they would disown you. My dad is a Byzantine Catholic and my mom is Jewish. I decided to put my faith in the Roman Catholic Church. They (my parents) accepted me for who I am and I've never looked back.

    Maybe ween them out of it. Tell them whats on your mind and explain how you feel. And for the love of God, DO NOT bash their religious views. Theres a fine line between "I'm not sure how I feel about a higher power now thar I'm older and have had time to introspect," and "Religion is just brainwashing people and trying to dig into my pockets. The Bible is just a fairy tale."

    I get that you may not agree, but this isn't a situation where you can afford to offend them. Respect their right to believe what they wish and they'll respect yours.

    -flap

    Edited for clarity and added to go more into detail.
     
  10. nah all these ideas suck, do what i said

    here ill give you a better one

    tell them you turned your cheek to the other side.......and took a dump the opposite way

    im 2 good
     
  11. As an atheist myself, I wouldn't worry about it. Just don't bring up the subject of religion with them. If you feel your father would understand then just tell him. Don't be coy about it if you do tell him. Just tell him you don't believe anymore and are atheist. Most religious people overreact to atheism but I just blame that on the years of brainwashing. My family knows my brother and I are atheists. But we still do Christmas and Easter with them. Any atheist should be able to celebrate the novel concept behind Christmas, which is supposed to be "Be nice to everyone.". Let your mother believe what she wants about you and her imaginary friend. If knowing would destroy her, why would you want to do that to her anyways.
     
  12. [quote name='"SoCalCloset"']As an atheist myself, I wouldn't worry about it. Just don't bring up the subject of religion with them. If you feel your father would understand then just tell him. Don't be coy about it if you do tell him. Just tell him you don't believe anymore and are atheist. Most religious people overreact to atheism but I just blame that on the years of brainwashing. My family knows my brother and I are atheists. But we still do Christmas and Easter with them. Any atheist should be able to celebrate the novel concept behind Christmas, which is supposed to be "Be nice to everyone.". Let your mother believe what she wants about you and her imaginary friend. If knowing would destroy her, why would you want to do that to her anyways.[/quote]

    Dude, its not some guy on the street or his friend or anything, its his parents. He obviously cant lose the relationship he has with them, and from what I get from his post, they support him financially. Coming at them acting like a dickhead and bashing their beliefs isnt the smart or respectful thing to do.

    I think the safest thing to do would be maybe starting with telling them hes agnostic, then waiting and seeing how they take it before he tells them he's an atheist. If he respects them and their views, I don't see why they wouldn't do the same for him.
     
  13. Well, your mother is conservative and irrational from the sounds of it, and she probably has the ultimate say. If you depend on them, I would not perturb them in any way.

    If the issue is you don't want to go to church, "switch churches." That'll likely be rough water already, as churches don't much like to lose members and if she's active in it she might be upset. Tell her you want to go your own way (oddly enough, it might be more convincing here if she is active). Maybe the social situation in the church is stagnant, and you'd like to meet some new people. It's kinda hard to argue with that unless a different bunch of people is in church every time, especially since your change of venue still has religious promise. Just don't tell her where to look for you if you don't actually intend to attend church.

    At the least, from her reaction to this first step away you should get an indication of what the leap is going to feel like.
     
  14. It is better to let it out then to hold it in. Part of their challenge in this life is accepting other views, and they will have to do so with no other than their own son.

    Tell them, you have freedom of thought.
     
  15. If they think you're so wrong then ask them to do the Christian thing and, y'know... forgive you. Isn't that what Christianity is supposed to be about?
     
  16. [quote name='"smokeyeyes12"']nah all these ideas suck, do what i said

    here ill give you a better one

    tell them you turned your cheek to the other side.......and took a dump the opposite way

    im 2 good[/quote]

    Hahahahahaha nice.
     
  17. You should tell them about your, well reasoned, beliefs. If they dislike it, tell them to go fuck themselves. :)
     
  18. Just tell them.
    If they react badly that's their shit to deal with, not yours.
    Be who you are and be open about it, if people have issues then let them have issues, nothing off your back.
     
  19. [quote name='"Cudderisback"']Hi guys,

    Well I'm in a bit of a predicament..

    I was raised for the first 18 years of my life as a Christian. I went to church every Sunday, even went to Christian elementary school, middle school, and highschool, but that didn't stop me from thinking for myself.. And no, I'm never going to be a Christian again. I'm done with religion. My only regret was that it took me this long. Religion fucked my childhood up and my ability to see objectively..

    I've been an atheist for about a half a year now and my parents still don't know, and I was wondering what the best way to tell them would be.
    My father is a theistic evolutionist and I think he will respond the most appropriately, but my mother is a conservative fundamentalist christian and she often ignores logic.

    So how should I go about this?

    Thanks in advance.[/quote]

    What do you believe??? I was like you man....raised Christian...went to church my whole life.....felt like a believer for a bit (Christianity is great at making people feel this way) I began to question the bible,the church,and my parents and I ultimately ended up leaving the Christian "faith" (faith is all they have haha) ....I'm the kind of uh who researches everything to the point of exhaustion and to this day I believe "RELIGION" is man made,its a tool of control....

    BUT.....that doesn't mean I allowed my mind to blindly choose ATHEISM just because I left religion....I still believe there must be a higher power,I believe its ignorant to believe otherwise,I mean when it comes down to the CREATION of us,the earth,the universe how can anyone possibly believe we are a random occurrence??? I dont even know if I'd call "it" GOD....but there is something....its not the same character that you were raised to believe in...it may or may not have the slightest interest in your personal life,but I do believe it exists...think about it man and I mean no disrespect to your choice to be an atheist....and please reply I'd love to hear your thoughts
     


  20. We aren't really random.

    I don't claim to know exactly about cosmogenesis, and I think to claim to know about our origins is arrogant. Most people, when faced with the realization that science can't tell us 100% how the universe started automatically cave in to religion. It's like a cop out. "I don't know, therefore Jesus."

    I don't believe in a God. If I were faced with even a shred of evidence I would reconsider my position, but as of now I am an agnostic atheist. Agnostic meaning that I don't claim to know, but I choose to not believe in a God simply because of the ramifications and implications that arise when one does believe in a God.

    If there is a God, then he is malevolent. A God that chooses to sit and watch as thousands of children die from hunger and thirst. A God that allows aids and cancer to take some of the world's most influential people. A god that let's the pope, a man who claims to be the leader of an entire religion devoted to him, hide pedophilia.

    And if you believe in the Judeo-Christian form of a God, then you believe that those who are too skeptical or rational to put their "faith" in a God who supports slavery, bigotry, homophobia, and genocide, will go to Hell for all Eternity. I'm sorry but this DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. I wouldn't wish Hell on my worst enemy, yet God is called Good when he throws people into this lake of eternal torment. Finite Sin does not equal Eternal Agony, no matter how bad the sin.

    If you were born in Iran and Pakistan you would be 99% likely to be a Muslima nd not a Christian. Just because you were born here, Christianity says you will suffer in hell for eternity, because you chose the wrong religion.

    Tell me. How does God make sense?
     

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