I started smoking when I was 21 (now 25). I smoked up my entire final year of university. I take immense (and sadly, private) pride in the fact that I was a stoner who graduated magna cum laude. Since getting a vaporizer this past January the longest I've gone without herb was five days, and that was just as an experiment. Now economic circumstances have forced me away from open-minded business and into a world where the words DRUG FREE WORKPLACE continually dog my steps. I'm starting to get calls for interviews, so three days ago I packed up all my supplies. While my use fell outside the officially recognized definition of "medicinal" I found smoking to be a very effective way to calm down, focus, get creative, relax and just enjoy life. It helped me calm my overactive mind, low latent inhibition, hypersensitivity, whatever buzzword sounds good. Now, facing the idea of coming down for weeks or even longer... not gonna lie, I'm starting to panic. I fully believe psychological addiction is a component to this panic, but today also I felt the first twinge of my old depression. A friend who is unaware of my situation was talking about a similar state of mind and casually mentioned that she just started taking a prescription antidepressant. For a moment I considered following her down that road, but it also makes me recoil immediately. First, if it ain't broke I don't want to fix it. I don't want any of those medications. I don't know if they'll do what I want them to do. I don't want to spend weeks or months experimenting, even with professional assistance. Any new medication carries an unfamiliar set of side effects. The very notion that these medicines are good comes from an attitude in the western world that says swallowing a white pill is better than inhaling hot vapors from a leaf. I don't have enough fingers to count the fallacies in that way of thinking. One of my hippie friends suggested I try Sweet Chestnut tincture as an alternative, but I have found no verifiable research as to its effectiveness. Again, I don't want to start experimenting willy-nilly. Ultimately I don't expect an easy solution. I plan to just deal with it and get through until the time comes when I can again chill with my good friend MJ. I'm frustrated and scared by what the next few weeks will hold, but I'll try to take the lessons she's taught me and apply them on my own. In the meantime, I'll just be hanging around here trying to get as much of a contact high off you guys as I can. Thanks in advance.