Ok lets start off by getting the backstory for this over real quick.... Just because i feel wierd using there names without there consent we will come up with names for them. My buddy at college we will call him CB(College Buddy), The girl im friends with from home we will call her HB(Home Buddy), and for HB's friend we will caller her AG(Annoying Girl). So HB and I have been becoming really close friends for the past few months. I really didn't realize how good of a friend she was til after all of this. She decided to bring AB cause she didn't just want to be the only girl around a bunch of guys. So we get to the college and see CB. CB is one of my guys that I know if i got into some deep trouble I could always go to him for the help. We are more like brothers than friends to be honest. Once we get all settled we decide that we want to pregame a little bit before we go out for the night. So we take a bunch of shots and I didn't realize but I ended up taking 7 shots before I left the dorm for good. I was quite drunk. So we get to the friends house and we are all hanging out people are drinking. I got handed like 3 shots of Jim Bean. WHOA. Anyways we all are pretty drunk and HB really wanted some marijuana. So without even thinking I hand her 15 bucks from my pocket so she can get some bud. CB,HB, and I all jump in the car to go get some bud. At this time Im really hammered and my stomach is kicking my ass. We get to the dorm and I decide just to chill outside. I got sick and decided that I should head back and just find a place to crash. So CB and HB head back together and I really dont think anything about it. I wake up the next morning and none of my friends are there. I remember that I put 15 bucks into bud and I didn't even get to smoke lol so I call them up to find them. HB answers her phone and tells me her car got towed that night and she had to pay 150 bucks from her mom to get her car back. So about on Saturday I start to notice some things. My buddy CB is flirting bad with HB. My first thought in my head is whatever you know? Its not my buisness but it really starts eating at me for some reason. I just let it go and awhile later me and CB are talking alone and he is like. "Yeah man im sorry I cant stop flirting with HB" Its understandable because aslong as i've known CB he's been a natural flirt and sometimes he really doesn't notice that he's doing it. After this I realized that AB hooked up with the first guy she met at the party. Ironicly its the dude that kept handing me shots of Jim Bean. So I laugh it off because its really disgusting how much of a slut she is. The only thing I really wanted at that time was some time to just talk to HB, but it seemed impossible cause I couldn't get any alone time with her. She was either being flirted with by CB or talking to AB. So saturday night after we have been drinking a little. AB has hooked up with the guy....AGAIN. Its HB, CB, and myself sitting at the kitchen table. Im scraping bud out of my hitter box to pack a bowl and Im looking at them and I made a comment to both of them that they were acting "odd". They try and figure out what I mean but I wasn't about to bring up the flirting to them both at that moment. Sunday was mostly smoke pot and chill day to get us ready for the drive that night back home. HB and I were hanging out alot and just having fun cause CB and AB kept taking ridiculous naps. By the end of sunday night I was snapping at AB. She was trying to rush HB and myself into leaving the college. HB and I were like "fuck you" to AB so she got shitty with us. Once we said goodbye we hit the road and finally got back. We dropped AB off at her house so she could fuck another guy. HB and I went back to HB's house to smoke a bowl and go to bed. That was the plan atleast. HB and I sit on her couch at about 2am and we start smoking the bowl. We throw a movie in and we are still talking to each other. Well we didn't stop talking whatsoever. I told her about how CB was flrting with her pretty bad when we were down there. She was really shocked when I told her but then I started to point out all the times. She tells me that she didn't even know and how she wouldn't of flirted with him like that if she knew. So we talk some more and then stuff starts to get really deep. We start talking about our lives before we really met each other. Back in highschool if HB and I knew each other we probably would of never hung out. She was this gorgeous cheerleader that the jocks would try to get with. Myself well I was just that Stoner kid that kept to myself unless I knew them because I wasn't into having false friendships with people who I hardly knew outside of school. I never opened up to anyone before like her and I told her all of my problems and she did the same back and I felt completly connected to her but now Im having these real confusing feelings towards her. She like one of my best friends and someone who I care about alot, but at the same time I could never get into a relationship with her probably for the same reasons. Now I have intense feelings for one of my best friends and I have no idea how to work my way around it. Thank you for anyone who read this to be honest. This is why I love GC so much not because I get to talk about marijuana and crap but here at the City its such a good community of people who I can talk to. Thank you GC. I love you
dont be a dumbass and work your way around it.... tell her how you feel... it seems you didnt have trouble doing that earlier
If you value your friendship with her more. Then you need to find an outlet for all of your sexual feelings. Is she showing signs of liking you? Or is she just a natural flirt? Girls like this can be pretty confusing. Its all about reading her body language, and trying to find double meanings behind her words. Girls are full of intrigue. Very few girls are up front about their emotions. 'specially towards guys. Hope this helps. Just keep it easy with her, and dont do something dumb. Ha, we guys always do.
Dude, you gotta make up your mind...if you want to be with her then tell her... If you want to be her friend then find chicks at school to hook up with and be her friend. The fact you didnt like that she was flirting makes me think you want to be with her...Go for it
man, i've been there, except my extremely close friend that i fell for lived halfway across the country, so when we finally connected on the "relationship" level via long distance communication and i went to see her (convenient trip really, i was considering transferring to the school she went to before i knew she went there), actual physical together time had to catch up really fast, and it freaked her out, causing her to unleash all her crazy at once, which caused me unleash all mine at the same time. we haven't talked in 2 years. she recently changed her facebook status to engaged and then wrote on my wall, i guess to see what i'd do, since now it says she's engaged to some chick. sticky situation. Not sure how i'm gonna play it yet. As for your situation, at this juncture it's far too soon to tell her how you feel. This will cause some sort of crisis in her, which you don't want right now, especially since you're not 100% sure she feels the same way. start showing her through little things. not often, but occasionally surprise her with a wicked fun afternoon. watch her body language closely, it really should be able to give you a pretty good indication of how she feels. If you think you really want to be in a relationship with her, then ease her into it. slowly start doing things that really only a boyfriend ought to do, but you can get away with because you're so close, then gradually increase these things over a couple months. Then a couple weeks after your boys start asking if you're together, get together. Just be wary of the vibe she puts out at every step, or you could end up hurt. bad. What i've described is the only way i've seen friendship become a relationship where a friendship could still be had afterwards if it doesn't work out. Just proceed with caution. The biggest mistake we dudes make is giving up control of the relationship. That's why dudes get dumped by chicks they thought were head over heels for them, because we get boring. Just throw the occasional curveball and you should be fine. hope that helped.
i can deff. see where your coming from because i have feelings for one of my bestfriends too. but i dont really think anything of it and i havent told her cuz i think it would be too weird. so i just brush it off and whatever happens happens. im not gonna say anything to her until i feel the same vibe. hope this helps
dont do that to yourself man. dont be afraid your going to ruin the relationship. its just going to eat away at you forever if you dont pursue her as more than a friend. truse me, ive been there. and i lost my chance. we arent even really that good of friends anymore. go for it. dont try to justify being a chump by telling yourself the friendship is more important. even if it is.
1. should have said something to CB about your feelings for her, i'm sure he'd have respected you and backed off...if you don't think he would have, fuck him up, he's not a true friend 2. people can be natural flirts, and i have the problem sometimes of reading into flirting as more, i'm sure you're worried about this too... so as someone else said, you'll have to figure that out by body language and her attitude towards other single guys... 3. don't be scuRRed... if you want her, go for her, i mean shit... i know you're worried about "messing up the friendship" (which might be a little code for you think she's out of your league-- maybe you think she thinks that) but you'll never know unless you DO SOMETHING 4. replay what you recall of that stoned convo sunday night... don't read too much into anything, but take into account that when you're stoned your emotions are affected differently
I have some advice for you, but you dont have to take it if you dont want too. Remain friends with her. You'll end up realising this: if you date her, something can and will probably go wrong and you'll lose each other forever. you do not want that. if you remain her friend, she'll be there for you, forever i have alot of girl friends who i would rather chill with than my guy friends, because girls are more understanding to alot of situations.
four months later either you have found smoeone else, realized that ya'll should b together and are happily together, or have an ulcer because you still havent told her that you like her and its eating at your insides. maye the ulcer was just me.
maybe im sober, but im confused as fuck as to who AB is, add her in the diagram so i can reread and understand this thing