Clingy girlfriend.. advice on what to do?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Burnoutt, May 27, 2012.

  1. Hey blades. So, my girlfriend is clingy. She wants to see me. ALL THE TIME. I'm into her, but we've only been dating 3 months and it's overwhelming. We already both said the "L" word (Kind of regretting it.. didn't know this would happen.) Here's an excerpt from our conversation..

    Me: Listen, I'm sorry, but you're starting to act a little clingy. I mean, you're upset because I want to stay in tonight and rest... (I'm sick)

    Her: I haven't seen you this whole week! We hung out once with friends at the beach, and then we had dinner. That's it. You might not care, but I actually like spending time with you. I'm probably not going to see you all of this week either! But whatever, I'll just leave you alone so you can rest.

    Me: Thank you. Was that so hard? When a guy asks for time alone, whether it's to rest, me-time, brotime.. you shouldn't beg and get angry. It's pushing me away more than you realize.

    Her: If you love someone, something like that shouldn't push you away. But k, whatever. Bye.

    Me: Don't take this rudely, I'm just letting you know. I. Hate. Clingy. Love is irrelevant here. Who likes someone BEGGING to hangout when they CLEARLY stated they want alone time? Who likes someone getting upset when they don't get their way over hanging out? Nobody.

    Her: K then, we're not hanging out tomorrow obviously. (We had plans). You've had two days by yourself, might as well have three.

    Me: If you want to be immature about this, I'm just going to turn off my phone. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

    And that's it. Sorry for it being long. What can I do? I thought I expressed myself in a clear, respectful way.. no? I know I was coming off as short / rude, but she'd basically been asking ALL DAY to hang out. She even used the line; "You used to hang out with me when you were sick, but k whatever".

    Opinions?

    TLDR: Clingy girlfriend. I want me time, she doesn't approve. Gets mad over me wanting to stay in tonight because I'm sick.
     
  2. I read that and said..... typical woman.

    The way I see it you got 3 choices.

    1. Break up with her
    2. Stay with her
    3. Turn gay
     
  3. seems like thats just her nature man, shoulda caught that before you guys were official.

    either deal with it or end it.

    the fact that you told her straight up about clingy and she had a rebuttle shows that she is just a clingy kind of person.

    i think if she was like "oh im sorry i didnt mean to, let me know when you want to hang".. then she has potential to fix her clingyness but idk ur girl homie.
     
  4. Dump her before she starts stalking you and before you regret not doing it sooner.
     

  5. two choices

    1.) turn gay
    2.) turn gay
     
  6. unfortunately having a boyfriend is basically a girl's life most of the time, especially if they don't have much else going on with their life.

    I dated a girl a while back like that aswell, she lived in the country and had no friends nearby and no car, so she was stuck at home pretty much everyday. So obviously me being her boyfriend, I had to talk to her 24/7 and see her as much as possible. It's incredibly exhausting, and although the sex is good..it's just not worth it my man.

    End it, things seem to be going sour anyways. Goodluck
     
  7. it might just be me, but she doesnt sound as clingy as you are making her out to be? but i guess i wouldnt know because i dont see how constant it is.
    well, since you were sick then she should absolutely understand. but i also find it weird that you guys dont hang out very much since you are in a relationship (unless i got the wrong impression and you guys do hang out a lot?). i know when i am dating someone that i like being able to just hang out with them and friends. so maybe if you dont want to see her that often the interest just isnt there?
     
  8. When you do hang out, let her know that you're really feeling her. It sounds like she's insecure, especially about your relationship. I've seen some girlfriends of mine who are normally really chill people turn nuts when they start dating someone. One of my friends used to get so mad when her boyfriend wouldn't text her back, and actually said to me, "WHAT could he be doing that is more important than talking to me?!" in a kind of joking, kind of not way. This would happen all the time when we were out or just chilling, and all I could think was, "dude, he's just living his life."

    People get a little crazy in relationships. Be kind, but be honest. Everyone deserves the right to be who they are, but if someone isn't getting their needs met in a relationship, then you might have to reevaluate the situation. Just take it day by day and be real with how much you can give her and how much you're willing to put up with.
     
  9. Yeah, that is how a lot of girls are. If you don't give them everything and all they start whining.
    I wouldn't tell her she's clingy...I mean, you should acknowledge her feelings and try to fix her pain.
    It sounds to me like you should break up, tbh. She is looking for a guy that makes her his number 1 & I don't think you're that type.
    Or, you just haven't found the girl to make you be that "type." ;)
     
  10. Why wouldn't you want to hang out with your girlfriend?
    That's the part i don't understand..
     
  11. Bare with me, typing this from my phone.

    I do enjoy seeing her. And I see her more often than it's being made out for in the OP. Usually, 2-3 tiems a week after we're finished classes alone. I also invite her to come to parties, social events etc, but she never wants to so that's on her.

    The other 3-4 days I'm not with her I'm usually either working, at a party (once every two weeks if I'm lucky due to my schedule..). Or with my friends. Need bbrotime too, y'know?

    Anyway, its always been like this. If I turn her down because I have plans.. Be it friends, a party I invited her to, or even studying for a test.. She'll get angry / upset.
     
  12. You were being a little condescending. You just had to get the last word in and you couldn't drop it. Here is how it should have gone:

    "Her: I haven't seen you this whole week! We hung out once with friends at the beach, and then we had dinner. That's it. You might not care, but I actually like spending time with you. I'm probably not going to see you all of this week either! But whatever, I'll just leave you alone so you can rest.

    Me: Thank you, love you babe! I'll see you __________"
     
  13. Honestly, you handled it like a straight dick if the convo really went like that. Oh poor you...you have a lady who wants to spend a few days a week with you. How could she assume such sorcery?! I would tell her to break up with you.
     
  14. If it's not working now, it won't work down the road. Some people just aren't compatible.
     
  15. Yeah, I think you're right on that one. Thanks for the advice, mate. I'll definitely try and keep that in mind for the future. :hello:
     
  16. Some of the people on here really like to jump to conclusions..

    She wants to hang out with you, therefore you should dump her?

    Duh fuck?
    Shouldn't that mean the opposite?
    She really enjoys spending time with you, obviously.

    Wish someone cared that much about me >.>
     
  17. #17 TheOceanInside, May 27, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: May 27, 2012



    I've read this over a few times and i think i finally know what to say.

    First of all you need to tell her you don't love her yet, because if you haven't seen her all week, if you loved her, sleep wouldn't fucking matter to you son. you'd want to be hitting that all the damn time.

    Second of all, she's acting immature in regards to that conversation.


    oh and this: "Me: Don't take this rudely, I'm just letting you know. I. Hate. Clingy. Love is irrelevant here. Who likes someone BEGGING to hangout when they CLEARLY stated they want alone time? Who likes someone getting upset when they don't get their way over hanging out? Nobody."

    after what she just said? you should've just said thank you i'll text you tomorrow and been polite. you basically pissed her off even more with this. you played the game wrong here my friend. she wasn't begging you, she just obviously misses your ungrateful ass and you are being extremely rude about not wanting to see her.
     
  18. I know exactly how you feel. I just got out of a 3 year relationship with a girl EXACTLY like you described. Even the convorsation you had with her matches almost perfectly with numerous convorsations I had with my ex. Anyway I can tell you now. She isn't going to change. Its her personality. Those types of girls are the ones you don't wanna date anyway. There self absorbed selfish bitches that only care about immediate gratification. In my case I couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I was in a box and it made me run. Id suggest breaking it off sooner rather than later bcs it's only gonna get worse as it gets more "serious". Find a chill girl who understands your needs and has similar interests.
     
  19. If there is even a future...
     
  20. Thanks man.

    I was kind of rattled, just because that's pretty much what she was doing to me ALL DAY and she just didn't get the message. Anyway, I re-read it and I see how I was definitely being a dick.

    I apologized and took her out to dinner tonight. Thanks blades, helped me see I was being out of line. :wave:
     

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