Clear head

I've never really had the desire to take a smoke break. Just isn't my type of thing. I like getting high and it likes me.

But a few weeks ago my connection told me he was done with it. He told me that he'd introduce me to the person he was getting from. But on the day of, I was sick with some sorta flu, and tried to convince him to just come by my place or something (i dunno I was fucked up and being a moron), so i guess he got pissed over the change of plans and I haven't talked to him since.

I suppose I could just go to some small timer, and pick up the stuff I need. But I hate the crap that I often get sold for way to much cash. So since buddy stopped I've just basically quit smoking. I haven't been sober like this for a while, and I never realized what a crazy son of a bitch I actually am, and it wasn't just the weed making me weird.

When I say crazy I mean, saying / doing inappropriate things out of a sometimes strange but usually very funny sense of humor. I guess if I recollect many years ago, before I started smoking I can kinda recall being almost a dick in the stupid shit I would say/do, but now that it's back again, I think it's pretty funny, and kinda fun.

Actually I think I'm done smoking regularly altogether... I like being a quick witted smart ass. And I like getting really fucked up off of one or two tokes. So I suppose when I do get another ounce or even more, I'm still done with blazing regularly.

Although I say that now, when I don't have some killer sativa staring me down, I'm going to try to keep this 'clear headed' thing going.

 

Can you say threesome?

 

You know what im sayin.

But I don't miss her. She and I are just having a more independent relationship. I have my space and she has hers. I think we both agreed it was better in the long run in order to get the passion back in the relationship.

Now when we fuck it's like the first time every time.

 

But back to 'real life' I've noticed that when I get stoned all the time I let women get away with shit, that I would never let them get away with when I'm not smoking.

Like I expect them to understand that if they keep fucking around with me that they will hurt me and for that reason they will stop, and I don't have to put them in their place.

But when I'm sober, I don't let them fuck me around for a second. I tell them the score and if I think they need to wise up I'll say it. Actually I will give them a wise ass comment the second I think that they are fucking around.

When i'm high I'll just kind sit there with a look of disbelief.

I'd say the 'high approach' is much more civilized and can lead to a greater level of intimacy but the sober approach is more necessary when people don't have the respect that is necessary to not want to hurt some one.