What if zombies are actually just really good christians, and 'heaven' is just earth. And their 'afterlife' is just zombie mode. And since nobody is a perfect christian, nobody reaches zombie mode. That's why zombies aren't real yet. But Jesus was the only real zombie. I mean he rose from the dead right? PERFECT FUCKING SENSE MAN.
Well, judging by the moral state of society, if that's true we won't have to worry about the zombie apocalypse in our lifetime. So...good news.
I'm stringing on a Christian girl. She says she's saving herself for marriage, I'm going to try and ruin that hahahah.