Anyone else gone thru hell with one of these? I am trying to be a responsible adult and take care of my problems, but the courts and the mother just ain't letting up and making such outrageous demands, I just want to share my child equally. I'm on my way to go get a gram to cope with this bullshit. It'd be nice to hear others stories or experiences with a situation like this.
youll make it threw man i havent been able to see my kid he was born oct 5 2011 mother moved to kansas before he was born and missouri/kansas laws on child custody are slighty diffrent when it comes to haveing a no contact order with the mom
My son's father and I have tried very hard to do right by our son. I cannot fucking stand parents who use their kids as pawns in their own personal vendettas. It's B.S. We don't have a court order regarding custody. In Minnesota, if the parents are unwed, all custodial rights are given to the mother. I can say yes, no, when, where, up, down, how high... But I don't. Only reason after he moved in with a girl after knowing her only a month, and her 2 kids, did I start to get pissed and threaten to refuse to let him take our son overnight. I'm sorry, but I don't know this bitch from Eve, he picked her up at a bar, both of her kids have severe mental and emotional issues (this came from HIS mouth)... I want my son in a stable and healthy environment, not a dysfunctional one. The sad thing is, I have given my son's dad free reign and all he has are excuses as to why he doesn't get to spend enough time with his son. It just makes me ill that people can bring children into the world but aren't fucking adult enough to do the right thing by their child. I'm sorry, OP, I don't know the extenuating circumstances of your particular case but either your baby mama is a raging cunt or you're a pathetic loser. I don't have enough information to decide which is true.
depends on what kinds of demands yer talking about. But definitely always put your kid first. If you can be cool with your kid's mom, then the law is just something to fall back on, and you and mommy can make up your own rules. Meaning, you'll have specific rules laid out, but you and the mom can fudge the rules if needed, but you guys have to be cool with each other. In other words, don't let the law define your relationship, use it as a backbone to support you if things get shitty. Hope that makes sense.
sorry bro, but unfortunately this is what i'm scared off. my ex and i split a few months back, (i actually posted a topic about this just a few days ago) and i'm just worried that it's a matter of time before she tries to pull some shit. AZ is such a mommy state that i will have a very difficult time winning, but u best believe i will do my darnest to do so. I'll get at least 50% custody i guarantee u that, if not full. I'll push for that shit if she ever decides to take me to court for anything. my son's with me at least 5 days a week, sometimes even everyday. She has him while i work, i take him after etc. I'm all for it and trust me when i say, it won't be a burden on me if i get him full time. And she knows that too
Bro I know exactly what your going through I didn't get see my daughter from the day she was born until she was a year a couple months old...I'm in MO as well, good luck to you, cause the courts around here don't give a fuck about dads, even ones who want to be apart of their childs life.
My girl currently lives with another man and our 10 month old child. She always told me she would never try to replace me as a father. Come to find out that girls are all BITCHES. No I'm not a loser and I have plenty of money and a god dam BMW that I gave to her to use so she wouldnt be on the fucking bus! But yet she lets another guy hold and support my daughter!! WTF?!? I was only broke for 2 god dam months!!!! Now I'm making money RAIN. The moment I ran out of money she had split! I dont understand woman... Oh yeah, I'm the more successful one here. The bitch is a broke ass whore who quit her jobs because they werent "giving her enough hours" and needs men to watch her stupid ass. Seriously who the fuck quits their job just because they werent getting enough hours?! 10 hours a week is fucking better than ZERO hours a week in my fucking book! Sorry, had to let some steam out :\ Don't worry bro, you aren't the only one!
Wow man, I'm surprised you are not being psychotic like me. I've had something similar happen to me, except I was kind of an asshole so I justify what she does. But to me, that shit would drive me insane, I would kill the bitch if she ever did me like that. THat's why I'm not going far with a girl anymore unless they learn not to fuck around, because I dont like wasting time. My GF is same situation, idk whether to let her just live her classic trailer park life with her new BF or wait for me to finish school and enjoy the suburbs. She's a fucking idiot, and some idiots need to learn the hard way but if that happens that what do I get? Nothing... I'd rather post pornos of her on her facebook and completely destroy her life, because she certainly had no problem destroying mine. And everyone calls me psychotic for this? It's like the fucking teachers at school telling you to tell the teacher if someone hits you instead of grow some balls and defend yourself.
Agreed. Believe me I WANT to go ballistic but you have to remember that you would only be stooping to their level and jail time is not something that would be great for your child. I'm a strong man and I told her to watch as I show you "how to keep your word." In the long and mental run they will slowly realize wtf they are doing. I suggest you let her live her trash life because you don't deserve to have someone like that in your life. Let them live and you, yourself, take a big breath of fresh air and close that chapter in your life! Go to chapter 3! The difference between us and them is that while we struggle in school or lives will be 10x better in the end. Let them stick with men that cannot even be compared to us. It will STING in the long run when she sees how you turn out and what she could have had!
[quote name='"Jiggly PUFFED"'] Agreed. Believe me I WANT to go ballistic but you have to remember that you would only be stooping to their level and jail time is not something that would be great for your child. I'm a strong man and I told her to watch as I show you "how to keep your word." In the long and mental run they will slowly realize wtf they are doing. I suggest you let her live her trash life because you don't deserve to have someone like that in your life. Let them live and you, yourself, take a big breath of fresh air and close that chapter in your life! Go to chapter 3! The difference between us and them is that while we struggle in school or lives will be 10x better in the end. Let them stick with men that cannot even be compared to us. It will STING in the long run when she sees how you turn out and what she could have had![/quote] This bro. I've been fighting for my daughter since July...her mother and I seperated at the end of June, and for a couple weeks, everything was perfect, I even had my daughter a majority of the time..then she went and called the cops on me saying I threatened her by saying she would never see our daughter again (in Illinois, unwed fathers have absolutely no rights whatsoever to their children until they go to court an have them established)...the cops were cool, one of them had even gone through a nasty custody battle with his ex wife over their son...basically, what he said was just go to court, have your rights and visitation time established, and there is no way she can keep your kid from you. And thats exactly what I did, I immediately called up my attorney afterwards, a week later had a joint custody petition in the court system, then about three weeks later (on her 21st birthday none the less), the county sheriff knocked on her door and served her the papers to appear in court haha. While its been a long and hard six months or so, you just gotta kinda get through it...bring rude, calling her names, etc really doesn't help any, I've done it, and all it did was her try to keep my kid from me even more, calling me unstable. As the cop said, he got custody of his son, and his son is now like 22, and rarely if ever talks to his mother. So even if you don't get sole custody, or half the time with your kid, keep in the mind there WILL be a time when your kid is goin to be old enough to see what's going on, and will hate the other parent for using them as a pawn. Just keep your head up, the sun will shine through the clouds sooner or later! =]
the good news is, a kid only has one "daddy", but you gotta be daddy, can't bail. That dude can hold her, teach her about life, but he's never daddy. Like I said, unless you bail, she'll know you're her daddy. She's 10 months, she's not really gonna connect with anyone but her mom for a while. Also, at the end of the day, you want your kid to have good role models other than you. With that said, if bad shit goes down, be ready to throat rip at any moment.
[quote name='"brody15"'] the good news is, a kid only has one "daddy", but you gotta be daddy, can't bail. That dude can hold her, teach her about life, but he's never daddy. Like I said, unless you bail, she'll know you're her daddy. She's 10 months, she's not really gonna connect with anyone but her mom for a while. Also, at the end of the day, you want your kid to have good role models other than you. With that said, if bad shit goes down, be ready to throat rip at any moment.[/quote] This is more awesome advice. And to add on to my previous post, my daughters mother is also living with another man, who she has told me multiple times makes her family complete...I just laughed, because you know it will never be complete for them, no matter how hard they try, every day, they will be reminded that they will never have a REAL family. Neither will us fathers, but we accept that fact, for some reason, they refuse to. In fact, a mutual friend of ours informed me that this guys cousin put on his Facebook that he was going to be such a good dad because he already is with Raychel(my daughter)...I just honestly feel bad for my ex, I mean right now she has the upper hand...but in 15 years my daughter is going to hate her with a passion... Just kill her with kindness, unless given a reason to take it further...let karma work it's magic on her. My ex and I haven't even been seperated a year yet, and she is already pregnant by this guy, and I believe they are engaged now too...21 years old, two kids, two different daddies...I'd say her life is going to suck
Wow, already preggo? I dont understand why they would do this to the child. Why replace you as father? I dont understand! I'm actually supporting my daughter and buying her everything she needs so why go get another man to do that? I dont care if she has another man but please do not replace me as father. What exactly is going on? I feel like I should just take my car away from her and cut the money supply. But than I would only be so low as her and I don't want to do that. And yes, 2 kids already at age 21 with two different dads is going to make her life hell. She will always have a problem being successful having to deal with it all. School will be hard and work will be hard. In the long run when you are successful yourself and making money rain they will try to come back. But hahahah...no..... Believe me, I have been daddy since day one. I would never bail on my daughter. I've been supporting her 100% to the maximum capacity that I can. I hit a dry spot for 2 months and couldnt do anything for her but that's where her mother was suppose to step up to the plate and take over till I get out of my slump just as I would do the same for her. But nope! When I hit my slump she split and found another man to help her out instead of her just keeping a job and waiting till I got my act together. I even told her to hang on because it wont be long that I'm in a slump because that's not who I am. I'm extremely dissapointed in her that she couldnt step up to the plate while I tried to regain control. Oh yeah, she asked me for 3000 dollars the other day. I told her to stfu and bounce. Come back with a list of things my daughter needs, not money for your hoe ass. Believe me, I can afford to just hand her 3 G's but it's not going to happen.
[quote name='"Jiggly PUFFED"'] Wow, already preggo? I dont understand why they would do this to the child. Why replace you as father? I dont understand! I'm actually supporting my daughter and buying her everything she needs so why go get another man to do that? I dont care if she has another man but please do not replace me as father. What exactly is going on? I feel like I should just take my car away from her and cut the money supply. But than I would only be so low as her and I don't want to do that. And yes, 2 kids already at age 21 with two different dads is going to make her life hell. She will always have a problem being successful having to deal with it all. School will be hard and work will be hard. In the long run when you are successful yourself and making money rain they will try to come back. But hahahah...no..... Believe me, I have been daddy since day one. I would never bail on my daughter. I've been supporting her 100% to the maximum capacity that I can. I hit a dry spot for 2 months and couldnt do anything for her but that's where her mother was suppose to step up to the plate and take over till I get out of my slump just as I would do the same for her. But nope! When I hit my slump she split and found another man to help her out instead of her just keeping a job and waiting till I got my act together. I even told her to hang on because it wont be long that I'm in a slump because that's not who I am. I'm extremely dissapointed in her that she couldnt step up to the plate while I tried to regain control. Oh yeah, she asked me for 3000 dollars the other day. I told her to stfu and bounce. Come back with a list of things my daughter needs, not money for your hoe ass. Believe me, I can afford to just hand her 3 G's but it's not going to happen.[/quote] Shes already went to school, is certified to be a CNA. Worked four days at a hospital and got fired for calling in. Tried blaming me for it, saying that's when she had to bring the cops to get our kid from me. But when I wanted to go to school, it started a huge fight because I was working full time then I would have class, and I would never be home. Yet I still supported her going to school and doing something with her life. And I dont blame you for not just handing the money over. When I left my ex, she was completely bone dry on money. That week I gave her all but $50 of my paycheck, and she found out I was going out one night and said if I have money to go out, I could give her an extra $20..then the next morning, dropped my daughter off in the front seat of a pick up truck that belonged to the guy she JUST met days prior...so I told her I would only give her what the state would order me to pay, which is 20%...I mean for me to hand you 80% of my check and you still complain, then fuck you. Told her she was only getting the 20% and if she needed diapers or anything related to my daughter I would personally buy it and give it to her. But of course I became the piece of crap deadbeat for not giving into her demands. Has half a million sitting in an annuity, after the quarter of a mill she blew through over the last three years with cars and drugs and stupid shit, yet feels the need to take me or every penny she can, and literally leave me living below poverty. And with all that money, she's on food stamps, and her and her new baby daddy have been selling weed for a while now. But the mothers are ALWAYS the more stable ones! This is why any mother awarded child support should be required to keep every receipt to prove the money is going towards the children. I can't even afford to buy a new pair of shoes, or new clothes, and this broad is complaining because my two year old got her "expensive" clothes dirty while in my care...LOL