Cheating and not telling

If you cheat, you are a fool. If you tell on yourself, you are twice the fool. Do you want this relationship to work? If not, tell her what you did, your consience will be clear, but you WILL lose her. The only way to keep her is to keep the secret to yourself. Yes, the guilt is terrible. That is your punishment for being an idiot. Live with it. Telling her to relieve your guilt will end up with you becoming single again...guarantee. Even if she doesnt leave you after you tell her, she will still lose her trust for you. Which means she will be in a relationship that she doesnt trust and will become more controlling and jealous all because you had to clear your consience.

Its really simple...

Tell her = lose her

Keep the secret = life goes on the same

 

Honesty is always best.

If you cheat, you're better off telling and owning up to it, rather than living a lie.

Do the right thing and don't cheat in the first place. And if you're gonna cheat, have the decency to break up with the person first.

 

If you dont tell her and continue to date her anyway without ever telling her you cheated, then you are scum in my opinion. You cheated on her, the least you could do is tell them about it to let them decide for themselves if they wanna stay with you.

 

You guys are all trying to get him dumped. That maybe what he deserves, yes. And that is guaranteed to happen if he starts talking. He maybe scum, but he can be Scum that still has a girlfriend if he keep his mouth shut

 

Is that really fair though? Is that really the way to handle this situation?

I've been cheated on twice, found out myself both times. I dont if it would have been different had either of them told me but it probably would have hurt less and there would at least have been aprt of me considering continuing the relationship but its pretty fucked up either way. He should tell her, and if he gets dumped he deserved it.

 

Exactly, Everyones telling him to tell her what happened becuase its the right thing to do, not to try to get him out of trouble. Obviously he could not tell her, and maybe she would never found out but thats a such a terrible thing to do to who you are dating. Theyd be dating you the whole time thinking youre fithful and a great guy when in reality thats not how it is at all, which is terrible to do to somebody. Plus if they find out later on from somewhere else, it will crush them. Man up and tell her you cheated, you never know, she may decide to stay with you, but if not, atleast you did the good thing by telling her.

 

Somewhere along the thread we forgot the original poster is a girl... just sayin. And nobody is trying to get anyone dumped we're just stating the moral connotations of such an act. If you made a mistake own up to it, if they dump you then you move on in life and grow as a person from that experience. If they keep you, do everything in your power to keep from making the same mistake and make sure they can see how truly remorseful you are. Unless you aren't remorseful, in which case you deserve to be dumped and they deserve someone who actually has empathy.

 

This is one of my biggest fears.

 

Cheating, in my opinion, is not acceptable for any reason. If you can't be in a serious relationship and stay faithful to someone then don't be in one. Period.

Not telling your mate can seriously fuck with your head and make you suspect that they're cheating on you too. It makes you grow more suspicious of their actions. Everything comes to light in the end and it's best to just own up to your mistake, let them know yourself, and deal with the consequence as opposed to them finding out on their own in the future.

 

If you cheated tell the other person. Don't beat yourself up for it everyone makes mistakes. Just be honest your partner. It's hard but in most cases it's the best choice.