I have been tossing this dilemma around in my head for a while now, and I've discussed it with my parents and friends. I think it would help me make a decision if I could get some advice/opinions from some people who don't know me on a personal/emotional level. Here goes: So I have been seeing this girl for 5 months, and things are great when we're together. She is quite honestly the best girlfriend I have ever had, and she makes me happier than anyone else I have ever been with. We both just graduated college and she landed a great job as a nurse in the hospital in the town where we both went to school and just signed an apartment lease for another year. I am back home now (6 hours away), because the lease on my apartment was up and I had no job to get a new place. I don't want to end things with this girl because I really do like her a lot and I want to see what the future holds for us. I want to live back home (close to my family, etc), but more importantly I want to be with her. I could get a full time job back in her town, but it wouldn't necessarily be in the industry that I studied to work in. It would be a decent entry level job that I could support myself on and get some corporate experience but thats about it. If, after a year, we are still together and things are good, we could discuss our future even more. There are lots of hospitals in my hometown and maybe then she would be more inclined to move back home with me where she could continue her career. My other option is to get a great job in my hometown, one where I could begin to build my career, and attempt to keep this long distance relationship going. I could go see her when I got the chance, and she could do the same, but we all know how tough the LDR thing is, and 6 hours distance is very very tough. We used to live in the same apartment complex, and now we are 400 miles away. Basically, I'm torn between starting my career immediately/possibly giving up what we have, and delaying my career for a year and seeing how things go with us. Any advice anyone has to help clear things up would be really appreciated.
If you both aren't willing to work out the relationship long distance, how strong could it possibly be? The way I see it, work on your career, if she really cares about you, and you, her, then you can make it work, otherwise you both are wasting each others' time.
LIKE OSG said, Sometimes it isn't bad to get some experience under your belt before you really get into your career.
This almost sounds like the plot from "Get Him to the Greek". I'm assuming you guys have never lived together. Why couldn't you stay in her apartment for a while until you found a job? So your planning on convincing her to relocate, because you miss your family. That's weak. As for "waiting a year to discuss our future", it never works like this. Women consider their future on more of a day to day basis rather than a lump yearly review. She signed the 1-year contract because it was the best thing do for herself. You need to think about what's the best thing to do for yourself. If you settle for a job where she is, she may perceive that you are chasing her. Or she may perceive that you don't trust her enough to leave her live in a distant place. What has she encouraged you to do about this?
Torn between starting you're career now and "taking a year off" to be close to a gf of 5 months? What was the point in earning the degree if you're not going to use it? Sorry bro, but you're priorities are f*cked.. You want to follow this girl like a sick puppy, and not use the degree that you spent years earning.. Not to mention thousands of dollars that you, and you're parents will/have ended up paying.
Your insights are almost as bad as your spelling (it is 'Feral' not 'Ferel'). He's got decades to pursue his career, most people wind up in entirely different fields than they planned on, he'll still be working and making a living, and sometimes you only get one shot at real love.
I could give a f*ck about spelling. OP's priorities are screwed up.. For f*cks sake, the guy's is making his girlfriend of 5 months out to be his #1 priority in life at the absolute worst time. Just look at what is bolded.. Does anyone else realize how stupid this sounds? Job v Career? Now is the time to work on his career, because the same opportunities won't be available if he decides to say "F*ck the career, I'm going to move in with her and make sure we live happily ever after." Like I said.. His priorities are f*cked, and that way of thinking is not what being a man is about. OP is sweating his gf and not even looking out for himsef. Just because most people end up in different occupations doesn't make it wise to put you're career on hold at this time. I'd rather him lose the girl because he decided to pursue his career, do the LDR, instead of putting his life on hold, and the bish kicking him out after months because she sees what a poor sap he is. It's one thing to not pursue a career because it's not really what you want to do, but because you don't want to lose you're girlfriend? OP is insecure, and needs to put himself and career first.
Your priorities are not screwed up, I don't know what that other guy's talking about. Obviously your girlfriend is one of your priorities ALONG with your career and that is a good thing. My advice is go for the girl. If you really feel you guys have something there then go for it because that is becoming more and more rare and you shouldn't let an opportunity pass you by. Your degree won't go anywhere and it's only a year. If it's true love I assure you that will be a very small sacrifice. Good luck.
The fuck's a year off in the scheme of things? If this girl is what you want right now why not? Your life isn't too busy to put off a job for 1/40th of your working life.
You couldn't be more wrong. This could be the future mother of his children. You also have a really bad attitude. Grow up a bit.
Come on guys. There's probably age difference at work here affecting our opinions on this. Generation gap?
No doubt. The kids without much life experience are most likely the ones saying 'career above all else'.
I don't see why you can't keep the job and do the long distance thing, I was in florida and my fiancé (boyfriend at the time) was in Ohio! We did the long distance thing for 2 years, I was finally in a place where I was finished with school and got experience in my field and moved up with him. Now we are expecting and planning on getting married. It's a test of your relationship for sure but it's possible if you're willing to make it work... Skype does wonders too, you can see eachother every day