Ever since I woke up this morning, I have had some major gas. I've probably tooted about 15 times already, and they're not light squeeky farts, but the deep, violent, vibrate the fuck out of my asshole farts that last for a good three seconds. They feel very warm coming out too. And as I smell the noxious odors from my insides, I am thankful that it is my own gas I am smelling and not gas from someone else, because that would be gross. And has anyone noticed that some farts resemble cooking-food smells, as in if you smelt them coming from a kitchen, it might make your mouth water? Or is that just me?
Breakfast was corn-flakes with strawberries and OJ. Lunch a I had a grilled chicken ciabatta sandwich with avocado and roasted tomatoes, and for supper I had macaroni noodles and butter with some Nature's Seasoning. Drank some beer and wine too though. Aw, thanks. That's about all I'm good for.
I am the biggest over-achiever when it comes to farts. I have actually made a grown man cry from my stench. It's because I'm a cheap bastard and live off of cabbage, turnips, beans and moose meat.
Luckily they were all 100% gas farts, although I am going to check my underwear when I go home for lunch.
It's like beef with a lot more iron flavor. There is also next to no fat. But you can get steaks that will droop over the dinner plate because they are so big. If the meat comes from an old bull there is a much stronger flavor especially during the rut. (the term for the mating season of ruminates) don't know what a ruminant is? Wiki it. Anyways hunting season is during the rut so the meat can taste very gamey. Moose meat has a bad rep because people don't know how to prepare it properly. I have never brought anything to the butcher, I always process it myself so I know what quality I'm getting, and because it's free. Some advice from a major leaque farter. To muffle the sound grab your chair, pull down as hard as you can and let her rip. You might have to force a little bit, but don't worry you'll be as quiet as a mouse.
Awesome thread, I especially like the apostrophe instead of the G "Cain't quit fartin' mayne" I don't know if anybody else has this, but when I drink a lot of orange soda, holy jesus. I have a king size bunk bed ey and one time a friend was sleeping on the top bunk, the fart stink went through my sheets and up through his mattress. He left the room shortly thereafter.
Lolz. I sometimes get the farts after drinking sodas too. Checked my underwear at lunch, no skids or anything. Looks like I won't be changing before heading to happy hour this afternoon.