Cannabutter: wildly variable effects

Yesterday, I dissolved 3 teaspoons of potent cannabutter into my green tea after giving it a hot water bath inside a mason jar for a minute on the range (don't recommend it because it tastes fucking terrible, like gag reflex terrible). Two hours later, NOTHING. So I scooped 3 teaspoons onto bread without melting it (the trick is to moisten the bread with tea so you can straight up swallow it without tasting, like a duck or Homer Simpson, just don't chew). Didn't seem to do anything. Then I went to dinner with my parents and wow was that a bad idea. Today, I take nine, NINE teaspoons (6 melted into tea and 3 by melting it onto bread and duck swallowing it) and I got fucking NOTHING. Yesterday I was CRAZY baked, now I had to fire up my volcano.

The reason why I'm using edibles now is because even the volcano thrashes my throat. I have a pack-a-day smoker's cough whenever I use it, and at night I wheeze so much I wake myself up. I tried brownies, but there is so much fucking sugar in those things that they made me shit myself. I tried tinctures using Master Wu's recipe (because I'm not investing MONTHS into making a tincture, come on people), but found that it did nothing to me except burn the bottom of my mouth and tongue with super harsh alcohol. The tinctures got me more drunk than high (tiny tiny buzz, I'm not a drinker at all so I even feel 2mg of Bacardi 151). So I thought "why don't I just eat the cannabutter raw? Its already decarbed and ready to go!" But the results are mind boggling to me. It either works only when I don't want it to kick in, or NOT AT ALL (wtf!).What am I doing wrong here? Should I not be melting it to ingest?

Guys, I really need help here finding the healthiest way to medicate, and I have been INCREDIBLY frustrated trying to find a non-inhalant alternative. Please, help me.

 

For the butter? Oh, I guess I should explain how I make that. I don't decarb it first because I use a double boiler and 2 hours of squeezing and flipping a cheesecloth "weed burrito" every 15min. I was told that, using this method, the decarb process takes place during. So no need to decarb it beforehand.

That can't possibly be it anyway, because it worked yesterday, How does it work yesterday and not today because of a faulty decarb process?

 

Also, I used a full O and 2 cups of butter (ended up with 1 cup after cooking), so its supposed to be fucking insanely potent.

 

Already made brownies with the exact same process and they worked exceptionally well, but there was so much sugar in those things that I basically shit out a lung instead of coughing it up.

 

I don't think you know what you're talking about...

 

Okay, apparently I need to decarb it first. Lesson learned. So why does it affect me sometimes and then not other times? It can't be because it hasn't been decarbed, right?

 

But...that tincture recipe takes weeks to complete...