Hi all, I am brand new here and wondering if I can ask your advice. I have been in a relationship with a "stoner" (sorry not sure on the PC word for it) for about 6ish weeks. He is wonderful, funny, smart, sexy and I am really into him and love spending time with him. I have tried joining him on smoking, trying several tokes on joints over a few weeks of dates - it's just not really my thing as I am a) an incredible lightweight with anything pharmaceutical and tend to just feel a bit dizzy, out of it and not really getting the buzz b) I am on medication that sort of doesn't really agree with pot in any case (and I think that is affecting any pleasure) and c) as I am a non-smoker and only see him at the weekend I get terrible nicotine withdrawal which is no fun at all. I don't have an issue with him smoking, it is not really my business and if he enjoys it why should it be a concern to me? I stand out with him while he smokes to keep him company. My big concern is that there just seems to be this strong divide on the Internet between "stoners" and "non-stoners" almost like they can barely co-exist let alone date, is there something I am missing? I need to know as I don't want to fall head over heals for this amazing guy if there is going to be an issue later that I should have known about. Thanks in advance.
If you've been happy so far, chances are you will keep being happy. I see no reason for it to not work just because you don't smoke. You seem open minded about smoking, so as long as he's open minded about you not smoking it should be smooth sailing.
I smoke every day from morning till night. My wife dont smoke at all. Married 14 years now. Dont buy into the pot heads are loosers BS. Just haters hating. If he treats you well and you guys have fun together then who gives a crap about what the internet says do what feels right to you.
Thanks guys for your advice - I know a lot of it is "scaremongering" in any case but as he's the first stoner I have dated I thought I should have all the facts. His being so mellow is very cool, I tend to be a bit hyper at times and being around someone who is incredibly chilled seems good for me.
My older brother smokes and his girl doesn't, she doesn't necessarily approve, so he tries not to be baked around her, but it doesn't seem to be a problem with them.
I think your already past the only awkward part. I think the initial questions of do you really mind me smoking, and are you sure you dont want to smoke are the only issues in a stoner relationship.
Ah feck it, you're grand sure you seem pretty open minded and you seem to really this lad so things should be grand between the two of you My boyfriend doesn't smoke dope, doesn't mind me smoking the good stuff at all. It shouldn't come between yous
You smoke. Why couldn't you handle him smoking? Even if you don't smoke you can be with him. From experience, you got to understand he's stoned and sometimes will be dumb and may say/do shit he doesn't really mean (not in a mean way, if it's mean ofcourse it's bad) so don't make a big deal of stupid shit. But, too, You gotta learn to see when he's really meaning, cause even if you're high you still can be serious. Also be a good high partner too. Make his high enjoyable
OP is fucking awesome. A non smoker that decided to get facts about weed rather than just judge them. There should be more people like you op, thank you.
I am a stoner, my partner isn't. My best mate isn't a stoner, but her boyfriend is and he's way more a stoner than it am. If it doesn'tbother you, I see it as a non-issue. Besides, why worry about what others thing when all that matters is the two people in the relationship?
I went out with a girl for six years who didn't smoke, open to it like you but still didn't really get it all that much and ended up just being quite annoying coz just wasn't very chill or mellow. Well long story short im now banging her sister (adopted) who is a stoner. So make of that what you willSent from my GT-S5360 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
Thank you all. I like to think I am fairly openminded on these things. A part of me wishes I could enjoy smoking with him - it seems an important part of his life and he has tried to think of alternatives to include me, but with my mental health sh!te and the medication I am on it just isn't going to be an option for me and unfortunately without my medication my bi-polar is out of control and I can't function. I just knew you folks would have encountered it in the past and it's not really something I can discuss with my friends for obvious reasons. I shall just see where it takes us as everything else is pretty hunky dory and I like that he is so chilled, just hope I don't appear too uptight or tightly wound.
The wife and I have been together for 12 yrs I partake and she doesn't. The key is to not look down on him or berate him about his CHOICE and all will be well. He was obviously toking before you came along and he likely always will. It's alcoholics you have to be cautious about. Just go with the flow and enjoy the ride. Be glad he is chill and not uptight.
No reason why not. The problems only arise when non-stoners try to make their stoner significant other stop. So pretty much unless you feel like him smoking is gonna get on your nerves in the long run (and I have seen it happen), I wouldn't worry about it. Plenty of fully functional stoners out there. That being said I do have a friend who only dabbles into weed as she doesn't really enjoy it and gets depressed/anxious who is dating a dude whose been smoking at every possible opportunity for the past like 4 years, they've been dating over a year now. She was cool with it until a few months back then started bitching about "He never spends any sober time with meee, like why can't you just have fun with me sober! I told him he's not allowed to smoke when we're together now" (they're living together, clearly she doesn't get that he COULD have fun with her sober, he's just having more fun high). As long as you don't foresee yourself having issues with him being high around you don't sweat ittt! Frankly I'd kill for a girl who doesn't smoke but doesn't have a problem with me smoking to the extent where she'll freaking STAND WITH ME WHILE I SMOKE (maybe I've got the wrong ones but stoner girls tend to be too lazy and unambitious, or party-focused, for my liking)... You are a saint, and don't ever change.
My girlfriend of two years has always been up front with me that cannabis is not her thing.. Thats fine with me and i am still happy, though i barely toke anymore... Though we occasionally fight over each of our views. God gave us all plants and animals for our use. Toke up !
Two people don't have to like exactly the same things in order to be compatible. They just have to respect and understand that. If you like him and he likes you, I see no reason why you both cannot be happy together. You seem to be at ease with his toking, and as long as he understands it may not be for you and respects it may not always be appropriate to smoke whilst around you, it seems like you have the basis for a very strong relationship.