I had this realization while on mushrooms back in April that has kept me content since. Everyday, and in every situation we encounter, we automatically attach some sort of feelings or emotions and attach them to that specific event. For example (this is just an example, but what I'm talking about applies to ANY situation we encounter and attach some feeling towards), if I saw two men going at it in public, I would form some opinion about it whether it be disgusted. My theory is that we have the POWER TO CONTROL how we feel about any and every event in our life. If we are bothered by something, we can choose to make ourselves "unbothered" by it. I believe that our general well-being is guided primarily by our point of view and attitude about everything. If we can condition ourselves to not let whatever bothers us to do so, we can achieve happiness. This works especially well on this that we worry about needlessly such as if I took a test and know that I failed it, why worry about it? How will it help me to worry about it? What's done is done, and the only thing I have power to change at this point is how well I do on my next test. As long as we learn from whatever mistakes we make, there is no reason to worry about that mistake. Please consider this and respond.
to a degree. if the love of your life passes away, i think itd be pretty hard to not feel sad. but yes we have control of our attitude but our initial attitude towards a situation is instinctual (thus it will never change, but its different per person) as well it should be pointed out that some have the ability to see the bright side of the situation more than other. lastly your last sentence refers to non regret or stress over the past. i completely agree and help remind myself with 3 quotes if things are getting me down. "you live and you learn": when bad things happen next time it will be easier to handle "shit happens": there are always bad things that will happen "you win some, you lose some": you will never have only good things happen to you, so dont let the unavoidable bother you.
I see what you're saying but I'm not sure I agree.. Feelings are created subconsciously by our bodies. If we feel sad, or scared, or happy then that's just the way we feel, we can't truthfully say to ourselves "I'm feeling happy" when our bodies are telling us we're not. What is in our control are the things we chose to say and do based on what's happening around us and how it's making us feel. I think it's better to say "I'm feeling angry" if that's the way we're feeling and then analyze the situation and choose the best way to fix the problem, than to try to feel that everything's cool when it obviously isn't.
i think it's more like, no matter what happens, in the end none of it is going to matter so you might as well just live life to the fullest and never regret a thing. that's the only way to achieve true happiness.
i think u can only make it seem like u arent mad or another emotion at something but really on the inside u could be pissed of sad or scared dependin on the situation
I don't see how this is a theory of life.. It's pretty much known that we are able to adapt to things. If we want to not be upset by something, we can think of it from the other perspective until it quits to bother us and we are habitually seeing it from the good perspective. I don't really understand what the theory is.. I've done this same thing. I had manic depression, badd social anxiety.. both my parents are diagnosed.. it runs in the family. My mom way worse than my dad. But anyways.. I don't believe in being prescribed drugs like anti-depressants. So I fought it mentally. After pretty much my whole life of dealing with it.. I got to the point where it was either I kill myself.. or I take control of this. My back was against the wall. So I started thinking and thinking and thinking and writing.. and reading philosophy.. trying to mentally beat it. Well with that being said, depression can never be beat completely. I've only subdued it. But I can say that without the help of ANY medications I can now take a Xanax and have it make me feel good Before hand when I would take Xanax, no matter how much.. it would just make me tired and put me to sleep. Because I really really needed Xanax. Well the other day I took 1 football (ONLY ONE!) and it made me feel really good, like everyone else was feeling. Wasn't sleepy at all just felt really chilled. So pretty much whatever made me really need Xanax and was making it affect me that way.. I beat it MENTALLY. No drugs or doctors!! And now just 1 football will affect me pretty good, because I mentally dropped my anxiety level to a much more manageable. So now the xanax can affect me in a good way rather than being greeted in my mind with a wave of anxiety. What I think was that I was so anxious that xanax would basically just make my mind shut down. Cause seriously.. taking just a little bit would make me feel like I took 10 sleeping pills. It suckkkeedd! Now it just makes me feel like I took a Klonopin kinda. People underestimate the human mind for things like this.. Depression is a chemical imbalance, sure. but that doesn't mean that your thoughts don't have the power to fix that imbalance itself. The human brain and body is meant to be able to do things like that. So now I'm never thinking about suicide anymore.. I'm not depressed. I can talk to random people without having a panic attack. I did more for myself mentally just doing my own thinking and using my mind, than a doctor would have helped giving me drugs. If you can see things from a new perspective for long enough then you'll become that perspective, if that makes sense. Basically I believe the best way to cure mental illnesses if from the inside, where the problem really is. In your thoughts. Control the thoughts and it will fix the brain. Anyways I need to wake n bake before my wake goes away (Let me just add that I am no newb when it comes to pills. So don't think I just didn't take enough Xanax or I felt right, I just didn't know what to feel. Believe me, I needed it BAD so it affected me in a really weird way.)
we can control our reaction to any situation, but our initial response to a shocking occurrence is often involuntary. and just a little aside, once you become "content" with life, youre not living anymore. there's always something else to look for.
But see heres the thing. If you control your reaction for long enough, you're initial response will begin to change as well. Depends on how strong your response is, somethings will take longer than others. But it is completely possible to change it. (I think what I'm talking about is along the lines of Cognitive Behavorial Therapy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy)
hmm.. If you think about how you feel when you get fired, no matter how many times you try to see it as no big deal and an "opportunity", you've still lost your source of income and you have to go through the whole finding a job thing all over again. You're naturally going to feel sad about it. The same with losing a GF or a lot of money, you're feeling sadness, but regardless of what you're feeling the best thing to do is to try again and do better next time.
oh and emotions just happen. control them if you can, but sometimes it's best to just let them flow. and i have to share my theory of generalization. you can never generalize. there are always going to be exceptions. example: no matter how consistant domino's trys to make their pizzas, there will always be one that gets made differently, even if it's in the most miniscule way. and in saying that, you can't even generalize about non generalizing. example: all sentences that are this sentence will always say what this sentence says. that is a true generalization. and yes, my theory contradicts itself, but it still works out in my mind, at lest. with saying that, you cannot control all of your emotions. some are just going to be overwhelming and break through the exterior emotional wall you set up to try to contain your feelings. so i conclude, the true road to happiness is to let you emotions flow and do what your heart tells you.
I agree with you, B_K. We shouldn't try to control our emotions, we should acknowledge whatever we're feeling but not just react to it without thinking. Happy, sad, angry, or horny, we should analyze the situation and make the best decisions possible.
thats not a theory, thats fact. Mind over Matter. I've actually gone to a couple classes to learn how to do this better (mainly because I had to). I have IBS, which is heavily affected by your emotions and mindset, so I learned how to control the way I feel about everything in order to help conrtol my disease. its actually given me a whole new look at life and insight into myself. Its taught me to be optimistic and look for the better in everything. This isn't just a theory, its something everybody can and should learn to do.
Getting fired is far from what I was talking about lol. I'm talking about jealousy issues, depression, anxiety, things of that nature. Things that you shouldn't think, or do. Being upset about being fired isn't one of those things. Same thing applies to BK. Letting your emotions flow is basically a good thing. But when you have certain problems like anxiety/depression. The last thing you want to do is just let it flow.
^^ I see what you mean, man. but merely acknowledging what you're feeling should be a good thing. To say "I feel sad" and then ask "why am I feeling sad" should be better than feeling down and not addressing it. right??
I feel this way about normal everyday things...like for example, I try not to drive that much anymore cause gas is fuckin ridiculous. But if I ever have to hit the pump I get upset that I'm paying 4 bucks a gallon, but it isn't in my control. I think of the price, then think of the economy, then think of my place in society revolving around the shitty economy and I go crazy. It is all about how you control yourself and your emotions in times of distress. It's not all rainbows and butterflies and if you realize that then you are much better off.
Exactly what I meant. I should have mentioned I used to suffer from depression and anxiety as well. My main point is that we do unnecessarily worry about things we don't need to. Whoever said the point about generalizations is right too, I didn't mean this will work for absolutely everything, but for most practical purposes it does. When you lose a job or a girlfriend, you will only naturally worry. People say that this worrying is necessary so that it motivates you to get out there and do something that will cure the problem (go job hunting, try to meet more people or work it out with her). I say that the worrying is doing nothing but hurting ourselves. The way I would handle it is first of all figure out why whatever happened happened. If it is something I did, I will write it down in my journal and work on not letting that happen again. I would then tell myself that I need to get on with my life and do what I need to to fix it WITHOUT worrying about how it well end because at the end of the day, there is just no way to predict the future. So why worry? Thats my point. Acknowledge, but don't panic or get down on yourself. Does this make a little more sense? Someone asked me a while ago what I would think if a love one died. Here is my answer. When we experience love, it is a connection so deep that there aren't any actions that need to be done in order to "prove" love. Its kind of hard to explain what I mean by this, but its along the lines of just because someone isn't crying, it doesn't mean that they aren't deeply upset. With love, you feel the connection to the other person and care about their well-being. Something I'm afraid to tell people I know because it might freak them out although its true, is that if i were to die, I wouldn't want anyone to mourn me, because in the end of the day, it is just a waste of time. If you really love someone, you wouldn't want to hurt them. I wish I could tell everyone that if I died, I am perfectly content with my life up to this point and would wish that everyone got on with their lives because it is the right thing to do. There is no denying that weeping for a year straight is not going to make anything better. I know they love me and I don't need them to cry or anything just because I died. Its hard to explain this but I hope what I'm saying makes sense.
Let me ask you something. If you one day magically appeared on another planet just like earth with a system of people ( neighbors ) (called the As the Bs and the Cs) and everything in this society is perfect. Its a utopia. But to control the food supply the As ate one member of the Bs and the Bs ate one member of the Cs and the Cs ate one member of the As everyday you would think that it was absolutely inhumane, but they think its perfectly normal because its been happening forever with them. This is just a prime example of how one thinks. I think alot of it has to do with your society and what you and other thinks on a certan matter .
You know what I once told my mom when she was worried about me "Worrying is like a Rocking Chair, It takes time and effort to go back and forth, but in the end, you get nowhere"
i agree to a point, liek another poster said your initial reaction is instinctual, but you can change it afterwards for the most part