1. Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge 2. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut? 3. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One. 4. Ax Me About Ebonics 5. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel 6. Boldly Going Nowhere 7. Cat: The Other White Meat 8. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde 9. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That 10. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends. 11. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window 12. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost? 13. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets. 14. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch 15. Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It! 16. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom. 17. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN. 18. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets. 19. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them 20. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 21. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. 22. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore. 23. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious. 24. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad? 25. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder