Breakup advice?

Looking to get out of my first relationship asap. I realize the timing is shitty, but I'm planning on dropping it on her tomorrow (valentine's day) when she comes over. There's been a lot of shit building up that's making me want to end it, but I have no clue how to go about it considering it's my first gf.


We both cooked each other a meal and dessert, so she's coming over to eat what I made her tomorrow. My plan is to just tell her after she finishes eating, unless she tries making a sexual move. If she does, I plan on telling her I'm not in the mood, and then explaining to her that I'm done.


Any help would be greatly appreciated. I definitely care about her and want to minimize any negative outcomes. Thanks in advance.

 

Just did it. I appreciate everybody's advice, there were definitely angles I was not considering. Everybody made some valid points for sure.


I didn't go in depth on the reasons, but there were several. A lack of common interests, the impulsivity she had because of her TBI, that every time I asked a question she would answer like it was retarded, and incredibly different world views. Also, the main reason I had done it today was the nature of our relationship. We only see each other on weekends, and she knew I was moving back home in 3 months after I graduate. Last weekend when we went out to dinner, she was focusing the whole time on how I don't spend enough money on her (which in my mind I spend too much, had let her live rent free in my apt for 3 weeks, paid for all the cabs and food on our vacation because she bought the hotel and NBA tickets, etc.). We would always just trade off paying for meals, and she knows I'm broke, yet assumes I'm rich because my parents are.


Anyway, during dinner she was also making a point to ask what my next tinder profile would be like (how we met), telling me dating probably isn't for me because everyone else spends a lot of money when they do it, and just being bitchy overall.


So when I met with her yesterday, I thought I was spending the night at her house, so I brought the meal I had prepared for her (a mexican bean salad and hazelnut and white chocolate oatmeal cookies). She told me she eats salads everyday, and that I need to make her something else for today. I refused, because that was a ridiculous reason in my mind, especially considering I told her it took me a few hours and she never even thanked me. Also brought over a couple roses, and she didn't thank me for it, then went on to talk about how she hates roses, insisting she had told me that before.


We went to a little get together at a local church for a valentine's dinner, then went back to her house. That's when I found out she was going to leave for work in an hour, and she had to make her cheesecake for me right then. She went up to change while I peeled the cream cheese, then came down, and started bossing me around to add eggs, vanilla, etc. She dumped in flower and sugar, then told me to whisk it. She was just sitting there "is that as fast as you can do it?" Then took it, did it a little more, said "that's how you whisk" and then threw it in the oven.


As she was doing dishes, she was saying "do you see how much more effort I put in than you?". I asked if she meant the food, she said no, everything. She was just being really short and testy all night. Then today, she came over, made some chicken in a crockpot, and I was just waiting for my moment. I wanted to do it in my room obviously, but my roommates were right outside the door when she asked me to help her carry stuff to her car.


So when I loaded her car up, she said she would see me next week. I told her I needed to talk to her for a second, and just said I wanted to be friends. Then went on to tell her I know the timing is shitty, but that I would have felt worse if I strung her along (even if only for another week), and that the timing was just coincidence. I told her I was thinking about what she was saying at dinner last week, that dating was not for me, and told her that she was right (even though I don't think that's true necessarily). I let her know how special and unique she was, and that if any shit ever went down at her house (right when we started dating, her brother beat the shit out of her) and she needed get away, I would be fine with her coming over for a while. Also, told her I'd be fine with being friends and hanging out every couple weeks, or that I could lend an ear if she ever needed to talk. I'm guessing I won't hear from her much though.


We did have a trip to Vegas and OC planned for next month, and she asked if I still wanted to go. I offered that we could still go to Vegas, and she could still spend to nights with me at home in OC. I doubt she will actually go, but I was surprised she asked if I still wanted to.


She didn't cry at all, though I'm guessing she probably did on the way home. It definitely felt shitty, but this relationship was toxic for me. Definitely a learning experience. Again, I appreciate everyone's advice. I wish I had seen it before I did it though, because I might have waited until next week. Not sure though, I feel like I handled it as good as I could have.