hi fellas, me and my girl have been together for about 3 years and we've been through a lot. up untill 3 months ago, i even considered her to be the one to marry some day since it was just all perfect. she really had all the attributes i'm looking for. she is a beautiful, caring, faithful and supportive girl, or at least she used to be. she didn't mind me smoking even though she wasn't in to it, she was there for me when i needed her, we had the same sense of humor and a great sex life. about 6 months ago her best friend died, her and her mother started having financial problems and she was under a lot of pressure because of university.i really tried to be there for her all the time but she seemed to start to distance herself. we had lots of ups and downs over the last 6 months and the relationship really started to suffer. our sex life changed dramatically and we started to see and hear from each other a lot less. then, about 4 weeks ago, she told me that she needed to think about the relationship because she felt that passion started lacking. she told me that she still loves me but that it scared her, that she didn't care much about the growing distance between us. i know that she used to distance herself from some friends without really caring before, but this was never the case between us. in fact it was always the opposite. now this started to fuck with me really hard. i never imagined that our relationship would change so dramatically just over the span of 6 months. to be honest, i let myself go quite a bit over the last 1-2 yrs, gaining some weight (not a lot tho) and smoking a lot heavier, spending more time with my homies and not going out with her as much as we used to. but in some ways, she did too and i think it's just kind of a natural circle in a long relationship. anyway, even after almost a month of distance between us, she didn't really come up with a conclusion concerning us and our future. i tried to tell her, that it wouldn't help if we proceeded to let the distance grow but she kinda blocked. she spend a lot of time at home during this month, sitting in front of her laptop etc. for hours. now she didn't really go out all that much before too, but it wasn't as bad (or bad at all). i mean, i told her to take her time but i really couldn't get why she was excluding me so much from her life. i really was there for here every single time she needed me and was supportive and tried to help whenever i could. i don't know whether it's a form of depression and the result of the rough shit she was going through for the last months or if we just drifted apart and her feelings for me started to vanish more and more for other reasons. i'm even thinking about breaking up with her because i really suffer under the current condition but i know i would regret it at some point. i just dont know what to do GC... i hope i get some help here.
Lay down the law and make this bitch make up her mind. Either work at it or drop it all, stop this half-hearted shit. Go over there now and demand it.
yeah welll we just really talked about it all today and i told her that she had to make a decision but i probably was too soft about it. i mean, it's not that it's super easy after 3yrs and i still try to figure out whether it's because of depression or other reasons. or both.
Honestly ive been through this before to, just go to her house/ call her or something, and straight up tell her exactly how you feel, if you two really want to be together you'll be able to work something out and if she doesnt give you a definite answer again.. i know its going to be VERY hard after a 3 year relationship, but shes just wasting your time, just move on. Lifes to short to get tied down on things like this.
i agree with smithy...life is too damn short to get bogged down by unnecessary bullshit...just tell her how you feel and tell her that u really need a response... if it has to end, then it must end bro...it might not seem easy, but it is very possible... i stopped talking to a girl i was with for three years too...cold turkey got in a argument one night, i dropped her off at her house, asked her to not slam my door, she told me everything was over....she politely shut my door...and i never talked to her again...that was two years ago almost my life took a turn for the best man, that was possibly one of the better decisions i've ever made for myself... it could be yours too, if you let it...you have to make it something good and see it as an opportunity to keep moving forward in your life...you'll be suprised at how much you will thank yourself down the road... either way the situation goes for you....nothing but good vibes from here
If your interested in the "Special Op" Breakup, google the "Playstation Break-up" My buddy tried it once and he was single after about 2 weeks. And she broke up with him, he didn't end it.
smithy and vape pretty much nailed it. as much as it sucks to hear time heals and reveals all. she wants space and you need an answer. talk to her again but be strong if you have to move on but this must be a sign from whatever i believe in because i just went to post this same topic same title and found it. ive been going out with my girlfriend now for 3 years 2 months and we've never broken up once, and its officially over as of last night/today i dont want to steal your thread but im in a similar situation and need guidance, so maybe someone can help me or this can help you. it was a gradual change during the last six months. our sex life declined to basically nothing, and she tells me she loves me but isnt in love with me. i know she cares about me but i of course after three years am still in love with her. she seemed to be my perfect mix of beauty and personality, i never questioned it. she tells me she needs to know if theres something more out there and its not a change i need to make, she just needs to move on. im really torn up and dont have many willing to hear it. plus sometimes its nice to have a strangers opinion. i need encouraging words ive already considered self harm in this miniscule period of time. she was more than my girlfriend, she was of course my best friends and we loved each others family/extended family and just seemed to click so well. ahh end of rant? thanks i really appreciate any positive input, as anything negative is gonna fuck me up right now. good luck OP
hey man i was down when shit went sour too...but then i realized that shit happens for a reason...even if u cant see that reason now or within the next few months...but i promise you will see the light, and you will look back and realize that it did indeed end for a reason....many opportunities will come to you, if you let them... you have to think positive and stay strong, keep toking and know that life is a beautiful thing... pick up a new hobby, start working out...get a new tattoo!! lol keep yourself busy and open yourself up to new things!! good vibes from all of us here man