Breaking Off An Engagement?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Cawdswallup, Jun 26, 2017.

  1. Hey guys, haven't posted in a long time and sure as shit not in here.
    So basically i'm a ghost now-a-days.
    Most of you probably don't know me. That's fine.

    You think of ex-girlfriends and that's normal.
    You think of ex-wives and that's not unheard of.

    But what about two people, together for years and basically already married who go from living together and happily engaged to "broken-up" and living separately?

    Is it ever wrong to just cut things off and walk away?

    The whole reason i'm talking about this now is because my sister and her fiance have just ended their relationship and just following that, my fiance decided she'd express how badly she wants to be married, as in.. "we should go get our marriage license tomorrow."

    See, one couple shattered their marriage-to-be and it motivated my fiance to express post our "i do's" but in me it sparked a thought that now I can't ignore. We haven't been engaged even a year and i'm certainly in no place to rush a wedding, I do love her, that's not the issue here; it's just that seeing my sister's relationship poof itself away is starting to make me reconsider mine.

    Anybody want to share some thoughts on marriage?
    • Agree Agree x 1
  2. Talk to her, if you're not ready to marry then you're not ready. Don't be forced in to a situation. You'll regret it.
    • Agree Agree x 2
  3. Only you know if you're ready to get married, not us. Within any relationship, there are going to be problems. You can't let that deter you....if you love the bitch, you love the bitch.
  4. This is perfectly legit. We don't have to let the relationships of those around us guide us completely, but it is normal that others' relationships close to us would affect us. When it's someone from the immediate family, like a sister, then it's natural that it would at least get you thinking about your own relationship. Not all serious thoughts and re-considerations are bad. Many should be rightly addressed and worked through. If it is only time that's needed.

    As far as the fiancee goes, she should not be motivated to lock you in inspired by fear from witnessing another couple break up. Unless time is absolutely of the issue for some real reason, you should never rush into this. Any chick worth her salt understands that.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. Ask her why and use logic to hold her to that question.. She will try to run you around a number of ways, but keep her to the issue of why and when she gets even more emotional, apply even more logic; make her understand that being emotional is not the way to get married or conduct any part of your life.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. IMO: RuN

    be honest and upfront

    tell her unless she's got a real reason its a big No..No

    been there Done That

    good luck
    • Agree Agree x 2
  7. Kids chase when you run. or at least they cry.
  8. Just make sure it's the right person it's a shitty day when you have your whole life planned out to have all those plans destroyed in a matter of seconds

    Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum

  9. Marriage = betting half your shit that you'll stay together forever :confused_2:
  10. Either I misread it or nobody in here has a clue what they're talking about.. from what I understand, you were already engaged before that situation even happened? Seems to me you should have got a promise ring instead of an engagement ring if you can't handle any commitment. How long do you think people are usually engaged for before getting married?
    • Like Like x 2
  11. I figured that it was standard at a minimum of one year engaged before proceeding. It's a contract so isn't this like.. a trial period? I don't want to sign for the house that has leaky pipes and a rotting foundation.
  12. Personally, I think you living with someone is the trial period...I had always said I would not get engaged before living with someone for at least a few months, being with someone and living with someone are two different things...By the time I proposed last month, I had made my decision I wanted to go through with marrying her, proposing without being sure of that is kind of a shitty move, especially because it is something a lot of women dream about happening one day.
    • Agree Agree x 2
  13. Trust me; until you say "I do" it's a whole other ballgame - you're able to just walk away as you're suggesting - not so much after you say those 2 little words...

    • Agree Agree x 1
  14. There you go,all I wanted was for someone to indulge in my narcissistic selfishness.

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