So I just recently went through a break up and have been a little unsure of what the "rules" are. I was in a long distance relationship but found it wasnt working out. Now I waited until I came back home for break to break it off with her. She was very needy and is still texting me. She originally just asked some questions the next day and I thought it was because she needed to hear it again so I answered it. Then she texted a few days later when I had my flight back here to wish me a happy thanksgiving and tell me she hoped my flight went well. I have yet to answer a few texts since the ones the day after the break up. Just tonight she texted me asking what she did to make her so dead to me, why did I drop her like that? Now I'm pretty sure she is doing this to guilt me into talking to her again and I honestly don't want to get back together with her and am currently exploring other relationships so I would not like to give her false hope. I was wondering what the standards are with break ups? Should I be answering those texts or not?
just tell her relationships apart drains both of our lives and hearts. it fuckin sucks to be lead on and not know y it needed to end
if you're really that taco in your avatar thingy then i can understand her heartache. But if you're not a taco then hook her up with your friends burrito
[quote name='"Stonefry"'] if you're really that taco in your avatar thingy then i can understand her heartache. But if you're not a taco then hook her up with your friends burrito[/quote] haha I'd plus rep you, but I'm on my iPhone.
i guess you kind of owe her some time. set up a skype session? if you were still around i'd say you owe her a dinner where u guys could sit and talk, but that's not an option. but put a limit on it. be like, "you can ask me 20 questions" or, "we have an hour, make it count," otherwise it'll just go on and on and on and on. I "dated" this girl for a few weeks in college, but then i realized she was fucking nuts. so when I broke up with her, and since we went out for only a few week i didn't feel i owed her much more than a, "this isn't working" but she wouldn't leave me alone. until i sat her down and very sternly said she was acting nuts and pissing me off. if she actually had something to say she needed to say it other wise that was it. we had dinner. she never really said anything of substance but she felt better after.
sweeet it's the thought that counts i'd + rep you also but idk how i wish the best of luck to you and your issue
I think she has a right to know why you feel the way you do and why you don't want to have a friendship with her.
Well at the very least you owe her an explanation of some sort, even if its just obvious cliched Dr. Phil bullshit. Answer her texts and tell her that she's a good person but you two had grown apart and it's time to move on. You should probably stress that she's a decent person so that she doesn't spiral down into self loathing and spam you with more texts. Be firm but understanding.
Do not respond! Just let it die... she will be fine and so will you. Dont let guilt run a relationship.
Yeah I did this when I broke up with her and the day after as well. I spent a good 45 minutes to an hour explaining what happened with our relationship, etc. And I gave her plenty of time to ask anything she wanted. Thanks! That's what I'm going with.
My ex did something like this - she went away last summer to visit Europe for...the whole damn summer. At first I figured I could try and make it work long-distance, because she'd be back, but... After a while my phone getting hammered with calls from her all the time got to me (I didn't want to talk to her half the time, what was there to say?), and I got sick of having to deal with not getting with other girls while she was gone. So rather than just mess around behind her back, I called her and said "I can't do this. I'm sorry, we're done." And she didn't get it. A week later, she facebooks me just trying to talk about some random bs, and I don't really want to talk to her. So I say it straight up - "Uh...you know we broke up right?" And she says "Yeah, and?" I didn't say anything back to that, I figured I made my point. She gets back in town, and tries to see me, texting me one night. So I figure out whats up, do some shit where I pretend I'm high and asleep and I'm actually some girl texting her from my phone. She finally took a hint and I havn't heard much from her since. Be as blunt and forward as possible if she won't leave you alone after you ignore her. Only way. Vague statements or 'not quite' leave room for her to say 'still a chance!'. Not a good idea.
[quote name='"SoftPillow"']My ex did something like this - she went away last summer to visit Europe for...the whole damn summer. At first I figured I could try and make it work long-distance, because she'd be back, but... After a while my phone getting hammered with calls from her all the time got to me (I didn't want to talk to her half the time, what was there to say?), and I got sick of having to deal with not getting with other girls while she was gone. So rather than just mess around behind her back, I called her and said "I can't do this. I'm sorry, we're done." And she didn't get it. A week later, she facebooks me just trying to talk about some random bs, and I don't really want to talk to her. So I say it straight up - "Uh...you know we broke up right?" And she says "Yeah, and?" I didn't say anything back to that, I figured I made my point. She gets back in town, and tries to see me, texting me one night. So I figure out whats up, do some shit where I pretend I'm high and asleep and I'm actually some girl texting her from my phone. She finally took a hint and I havn't heard much from her since. Be as blunt and forward as possible if she won't leave you alone after you ignore her. Only way. Vague statements or 'not quite' leave room for her to say 'still a chance!'. Not a good idea.[/quote] thanks! great advice. hope we both don't hear from them.